I was sad today thinking about the 10th anniversary of 9-11.  I was remembering exactly where I was and what I was doing that awful Tuesday morning 10 years ago.  I was thinking about all the widows who were honoring their late husbands who died on that terrible day in September 2011.

I was sad today thinking about the 10th anniversary of 9-11.  My son D was only 11 at the time and in elementary school.  My daughter A was 15 and in high school.  My late husband M was at home.  He was a stay-at-home dad.  And I was at work trying to account for all my colleagues and make sure they were okay.

I was sad today thinking about the 10th anniversary of 9-11.  I was remembering how my late husband M reacted in utter shock when he called to tell me that he was watching each of the twin towers of the World Trade Center fall after being hit by two separate planes.  “I can’t believe what I’m seeing on television,” he had called to tell me. “It’s surreal.  I feel like I’m watching a movie, but it is really happening.”

We had just been to NYC the week before to celebrate his 50th birthday.  The weekend we drove up to NYC we had pointed to the twin towers as we entered the Holland Tunnel.  A week later and the twin towers were gone.

I moved my son D into lower Manhattan last week for what I hope will be the last September college move I will make, as he is now a senior. I sat in my car while D moved into his dorm right down the block from ground zero. I sat there for about 30 minutes as he shuttled his clothes and accessories up in the elevator to his dorm room on the 9th floor. There was no place to go or I would have gotten a parking ticket.

I stared straight ahead and I looked up at ground zero. There in place of the twin towers stood a tall glass building with a large crane on top.  As Sam Anderson said in the NY Times Magazine today, “The tower at ground zero still isn’t finished.  For a nation that prefers to be constantly under construction, that seems perfectly fitting.”

I was sad today thinking about the 10th anniversary of 9-11.  I was missing my late husband M. I wished he were here so I could have shared the good news about the new tower rising above ground zero. I would have also told him that like the new tower, I too have been constantly under construction the past several years rebuilding my life. I’m not fully erect yet, but I am much stronger than I was three and a half years ago when he left me.

Yes, I too am a work in progress.

Judi