I’ve been thinking about the word ‘gratitude’ this week. I think it has to do with the quote that my yoga teacher said at the end of our yoga session last week. I just wish I could remember the entire quote. Thanks to my 50 year old brain the only word that has remained on rewind is ‘gratitude.’ But maybe that is a good thing.

Yes, these days when I find myself grieving, I also find myself being grateful. Grateful for all that I have had in my 50 years and all that I have to look forward to in the second half of my life. What are those things? Let me see:

I’m grateful for the wonderful almost 25 year marriage that I had with my wonderful late spouse M. Of course, we had our issues throughout the almost 25 years…and yes, it was cut short when he passed away last year…but I had a great love in my life for almost a quarter of a century…so for that I am and will continue to be forever grateful.

I’m grateful for my two fabulous kids:
– My daughter A, who just got her first job in New York City (I’m so grateful that she is following in her mother’s footsteps and starting her career in the big city…a city I am also forever grateful for that taught me so much about life and about myself. And now I can visit my favorite city more often and maybe have a place to stay…if A gets an apartment that will fit an occasional weekend guest.)
– My handsome son D, who is now off to college (which I am also grateful for…although he has been visiting home a lot this week. I guess that is still okay. I should be grateful that he misses me. Or maybe just misses the comforts of home.)

I’m grateful for my soon to be 87 year old mom. My mom who gave me the optimistic attitude and strength to stand up to change (okay, she left me with some fear in that attitude too, but I am trying to conquer my fears…and when I do, I will be even more grateful.) And I’m grateful for my late dad…my dad who gave me my lighter side with laughter and jokes (he also gave me some of the anger in my attitude…but, I am trying to conquer that anger…and when I do, I will be forever grateful.)

I’m grateful for my extended family, my stellar sister and sister-in-laws…their friendships mean so much.

I’m grateful for my terrific friendships…friendships that I have built up over the years…all my girlfriends who have been there for me through the ups and the downs in my 50 years of life. And I’m grateful for all the new friends I am starting to meet as I enter this new phase of my life.

I’m grateful for my beautiful three bedroom ranch house…especially the beautiful family room with it’s sliding glass doors that allow me to look out on all the greenery in my beautiful backyard (despite all the bamboo that is growing around me and that soon will engulf the beautiful greenery in my beautiful backyard.)

I’m grateful for my little ‘condo on the corner’ at the shore. Oh, how grateful I am that I was able to purchase such a lovely place to escape to on the summer weekends…and the fall and winter weekends too. It is such a great place to go to reflect on being grateful.

I’m grateful for my great career that I’ve built the past 30 years (okay, there was lots of toil and sweat along the way…and continue to be…but thanks to my great career I’ve been able to have many of the material things I am grateful for…not that material things are the most important things in life…I’ve learned that over my 50 years…nevertheless…I am grateful). And I’m grateful for my new career that is starting to emerge in the blogosphere…more to come…more to come.

Wait a minute…my irritable bowel is acting up. Oh, I remember, oh I remember the quote. It was by Benjamin Disraeli, the first Jewish prime minister of England…

“I feel a very unusual sensation – if it’s not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude”