“50 is the new 50” according to Suzanne Braun Levine…I heard Suzanne speak today at the Forum of Executive Women Leadership Conference…I couldn’t stop taking notes during her lunchtime session…her words resonated and reverberated in my head…and in my heart and in my soul…I just kept writing them down…every word…and along with every other 50 year old in the audience…I was shaking my head every time she spoke another sentence…yes…yes…yes…I wanted to say to her…that’s me…that’s me.

Suzanne is a former editor of Ms. Magazine and author of “Inventing The Rest of Our Lives, Women in Second Adulthood“…no wonder I can identify with her every word…I am 50…and I am getting ready to invent the second half of my life.

Suzanne says that “ages 25 – 50 make up our first adulthood and our 50+ years make up our second adulthood…only the second time around we’re tougher, smarter and more independent.” (Yep, that’s me…I’m definitely tougher than I was when I was in my 20’s or 30’s or even 40’s…and I’m smarter too…and definitely more independent…I’m on my own now…a widow who has to make her own choices without a soulmate to consult for advice…not sure I like this independence…it’s different…sure will be interesting to see how my life evolves in the second half…wonder if it will be as rewarding as the first…wonder what new people I will meet…what new friendships I will form.)

Suzanne says we…meaning the 50 year old women of today…”are defining this new stage of life by living it…in fact…we are redfining what it means to be 50+…redefining our work…redefining our intimacy…redefining our entire lives…and we 50+ women are happy to be here and excited about what lies ahead.” (Yep…that’s me…I’m happy to be here now that I’ve arrived at the big 5-0…I am a little fearful about what lies ahead…but as the leader of my weekly bereavement group always says…if I can survive losing a spouse…I am a pretty strong person.)

Suzanne says that “the beginning of this second adulthood is not neat…that you begin to feel restless…everything is thrown into confusion”…she says that “people may say ‘you act weird – that’s not like you’…it must be menopause…but that it really is not a hot flash…but a power surge.” (I really like that term ‘power surge’…yep…that is what I’m going through…although I think I’m also having hot flashes too…especially last night when I woke up at 3:00 am and had to open the windows and throw off my covers…I was so hot.)

Suzanne says that at this age that while we may say, “I don’t care what people think anymore”….what we really are saying is that “I do care what people think, but I care more about what I think”…it’s all about defiance…you do things you never thought you could or would do before. (Oh Suzanne…how true…how true…I am tired of being the daughter…the mother…the caretaker…I am starting to behave in a way that I never thought I would…yes…this was the year I bought my first strapless dress…and this was the year I started to blog about my life…reveal my authentic self to the entire blogosphere…and this is the year I just went and bought a condo on the corner…my very own condo on the corner of a beach block…all by myself…wow…wow…wow…I am empowered…just like you said…ready to conquer my new world of second adulthood and embrace my biggest fears.)

Suzanne says that “you start to be able to say ‘NO’ to authority…to say ‘NO’ in situations…even when everyone else may be saying ‘YES’…that you’re not the obedient person that you once were.” (I am very good at saying ‘YES’…but I must admit that I’m not very good at saying ‘NO’…but I’m going to try to say ‘NO’ more often…yes…now that I’m fiftysomething I’m going to try to say ‘NO’ whenever I want…I think I will keep a ‘NO’ list and see how many ‘NO’s’ I tally up this month.)

Suzanne says “you begin to focus on living life authentically…that you shed the imposter syndrome…you are who you are…now that you have finished spending your whole life going from role to role…daughter to wife to mother…now the roles are totally open.” (My roles are changing…not sure what exactly my new roles are or will be…but they are definitely not the same roles as before…no…I am creating new roles for myself…and just like Suzanne says…”now when I make up my to do list…I’m adding myself to that list…and making sure that I am not at the bottom…in my second adulthood I’m going to be right at the top…okay…maybe not right at the top…not just yet…but I’m going to eventually get there…I may even purchase a lounge chair for my condo on the corner…and on my to do list…I may write a specific amount of time I am going to spend in that lounge chair each weekend.)

And finally…Suzanne says that “female friendships are most important during second adulthood…that when we are together with our friends we generate positive hormonal reactions…similar to the way our body reacts when we eat chocolate.” (I agree…I cherish my female friends…they are such accomplished women…such talented women…at this point in my life I definitely would rather spend my time with my female friends than spend it consuming a box of chocolates.)

I was so energized when I left the lunchtime session today…I went and bought Suzanne’s book and she autographed it…I can’t wait to read it cover to cover…then I’m going to go check out her website at www.suzannebraunlevine.com…and then I’m going to call some of my female friends…and maybe then I’ll do the laundry…or maybe not…maybe I’ll put that on the bottom of my next ‘to do’ list…after all…I can do whatever I please at this age…it’s all up to me.

Judi

Note to all my readers…you can now also find me blogging on the 50-Something Moms Blog – A Flash of MidLife Madness.