Now that I’ve had my cardio check up, I thought it was time to have a financial check up. I had always thought about getting a financial check up and after I became a widow, I thought it was time to find myself a real live financial advisor to examine the state of my financial affairs. My hubby was always very good at looking out for our financial future. I miss not having him around to keep track of our pennies…and my spending too.

I’m resourceful. I told myself. I can find a good financial advisor. And so I did. Then I went about doing my homework (boy, did it take time to compile all my assets and boy, did it take even longer time to compile all my spending…before I had a financial advisor I never bothered adding up all of my spending…it was a shocking experience).

This afternoon, I had a chance to sit down with my financial advisor and hear what he had to say…I was nervous…I was scared…actually almost frightened to hear what he had to say about my future financial status.

Will I be able to get my facials when I retire?

Will I be able to afford to buy my Activa yogurt when I retire…the yogurt that keeps getting more expensive every time I go to the grocery store? And what about the occasional bag of peanut M&Ms that I like? (I know I’m not supposed to eat these high fat treats since I have to watch my cholesterol and fat content…but they are treats.)

Will I be able to keep my ‘condo on the corner’ at the shore when I retire?

So many ‘will I’ questions to think about…or worry about. (“Practice using mindfulness,” I said to myself. “Stop worrying about the future…stay in the present.”)

I sat and listened intently as my financial advisor mapped out a variety of scenarios…if I retire at 55…if I don’t…if I retire at 60…if I don’t…if I save more money…if I work after my retirement…if I buy long term care insurance…if I don’t…if I manage my 40lK properly…if I buy tax-free bonds…if I consider the impact of inflation…the list just kept getting longer and longer as he turned each page in my portfolio.

“Oh my, oh my,” I started to gasp as my menopausal hot flashes started to soar.

This financial checkup was weighing heavy on my heart after the two hours were up. I felt like I had just done a cardio workout in addition to a financial check up.(I wonder if this check up will help me lower the level of plaque build up in my arteries).

“Look over everything and call me with any questions,” said my financial advisor.

“Yes, yes, I will,” I replied as I headed out the door. I had hardly eaten all day and was in great need of a large dose of protein to satisfy my empty stomach and a good massage to relax my body and shore up my soul.

I ate my tasty Kashi turnover that was full of fiber and full of protein…I put on my exercise gear and I went straight to see my friend D to get a massage. I’m so glad D is learning to be a massage therapist. She worked wonders on my body. She said that the muscles in the left side of my back are more tense than the right side. D said that it may be a result of always carrying my heavy handbag on my left shoulder.

When she was done with the massage, D put some soothing ‘tea tree oil’ on all my mosquito bites…my mosquito bites from the Vietnamese mosquitos that bit me the other day when I was in my backyard with my landscaper. I don’t like these mosquitos. I never knew my backyard mosquitos were so diverse…to think they flew all the way from Vietnam. Guess they had to bite me multiple times on both legs and both arms to make the trip worth their while. I may have to purchase some of this organic medicinal ‘tea tree oil’ for myself if my visiting mosquitos don’t go back to where they came from soon.

What a tiring day…I’m looking forward to retiring to my super duper beach chair tomorrow at my condo on the corner…that’s the only retiring I’m going to be contemplating this weekend.