I’m grieving again…about family matters…another loss…this time my mother-in-law…my children’s nana has left us…yes…she decided that her spirit could no longer fight the good fight…and just like my husband…she left us…almost three months to the date of losing my husband…another loss…new wounds of sadness to heal…raw wounds needing attending to…where are the bandaids…I need more bandaids again.

This week brought back memories of my nana…I was very close with my nana who died when I was a senior in high school…and just like my son…who has now lost his nana when he is a senior in high school…and just like my daughter who has now lost her nana when she is a senior in college…I hope they will cherish the memories they have of their nana as much as I cherish the memories I have of mine.

My nana was a strong lady…a widow at an early age…just like my mother-in-law…and just like me…yes…funny how history repeats itself…I remember visiting my nana often…enjoying tea and brownies with her when I was a child…how I loved our tea time…and especially the brownies…she kept them in an empty Maxwell House coffee can…the tin can always smelled of coffee grounds…with a little bit of chocolate mixed in…and the brownies were always hard…always a little stale…sometimes I thought I was going to crack one of my teeth on those brownies…but we dunked them…yes…nana and I would dunk our brownies to soften them up…oh…how I loved tea time with my nana…and I loved to hear all her stories…her stories of how she came to America…how she took care of her family…it was great fun to listen to her stories.

My mother-in-law was a strong lady too…a courageous woman…I hope now that she is in heaven that she will give my husband…her son…lots of hugs and kisses…the hugs and kisses I can no longer give him…and I hope she will make him her kugel…the kugel with the thin noodles and onions…the savory kugel…not the sweet kind…and I hope she will make her giblet stew with meatballs…just like she used to make for him…and the stewed peaches too…during the summertime…they’ll likely argue over something…and if they see my nana up there…when it’s tea time…they can always ask her to make them some brownies.

This Friday it will be 33 years since the passing of my nana…and when I close my eyes…I can still remember her smile…her warmth…and her kindness…yes…I do hope my children will remember their wonderful nana in the same way I remember mine.

Wonderful nanas…wonderful nanas…as the poem says…they make us slow down…and enjoy life…maybe that’s why they are so lovable.

I Like to Walk with Nana

I like to walk with Nana, she takes small steps like mine.
She never says, “let’s hurry-up!, she always takes her time.
I like to walk with Nana, her eyes see things like mine. Shiny stones, a fluffy cloud, stars at night that shine.
People rush their whole day through, they rarely stop to see. I’m glad that God made Nana’s unrushed and young like me!
© Bloomfield

Judi