It’s Father’s Day. The first Father’s Day without my husband. It’s just not the same…no…it’s just not the same…and I’m sad…very sad that there won’t be anymore Father’s Day celebrations with my husband…I wish you were here.

I wish you were here so you could walk with me on the beach and sit next to me in the sand and enjoy the condo on the corner. You weren’t really a beach person…but I bet you would like this little condo on the corner…and even if you didn’t walk on the beach with me…you could walk along the street with me on Sunday mornings, like I did today and admire all the lovely little Brigantine beach houses.

I wish you were here so we could have a barbecue like we used to do on Father’s Day…and I could still savor the salmon you used to grill…and the asparagus you used to grill…and the new red-skinned potatoes you used to cook on top of the grill…I remember how you would leave the grill open to cool…and let the heat die down before you went to rest for the evening. Yes, you were the cook…and I was the cleaner upper…I was the one who would wash all the grilling utensils and store them for the next weekend feast. Oh, what memories I have of you by your grill…yes…I wish you were still here…now the grill sits idle and is all covered up.

I wish you were here so I could buy you your favorite mango water ice…the one you used to like from our favorite water ice shop, the water ice shop that only opens for the summertime…if you were still here, I’d buy you the largest size cup of mango water ice for Father’s Day…and then I’d sneak a few spoonfuls just to make you angry.

I wish you were here so I could sit by your side and hear you scream and yell and get enraged when your Yankees baseball team doesn’t perform like you want them to…yes…I wish I could still sit by your side on our king-sized bed to hear your outbursts when Jeter strikes out…or Giambi misses a homer…now the television sits idle while I blog about wishing you were here.

I wish you were here so I could take you out for Father’s Day brunch with me and our two wonderful…wonderful children…the two children that you helped raise to be amazing adults…I know that you never liked waiting to get a table at a restaurant…but today we didn’t even have to wait…there was no line at the restaurant…no line at all…boy would you have been happy…I wish you were here so we didn’t have an empty seat at the table.

I wish you were here…yes, I wish you were here…you know I like to buy cards…and I couldn’t buy any Father’s Day cards this year…you always said I supported Hallmark and that I bought too many cards…and now I even have a Papyrus Frequent Buyer card so I buy even more cards…but today there was no one to buy cards for…oh, how I wish you were here.

I wish you were here so I could give you a Father’s day hug and a Father’s Day kiss…and the kids could give you Father’s Day hugs and Father’s Day kisses too…and we could buy you a nice Father’s Day gift even though you always said we didn’t need to buy you any gifts…but you always knew we would.

I wish you were here so I could tell you how much I loved you…and we could be a family foursome again…yes a foursome instead of a threesome.

Yes, I wish life were like the movies…like that movie where you can be with the one you love for one more day…can’t remember the name of that movie…there goes my memory again…but I’m not in the movies…so I’ll just have to sing my favorite sad song by Pink…and then I’ll cry…and then I’ll pick myself up again and be strong again…cause I know you would want me to be strong.

Who Knew

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you’d be around
Uh huh
That’s right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That’s right

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them up
Cause they’re all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I’d give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they’re long gone
I guess I just didn’t know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I’ll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won’t forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
Cause they’re all wrong and
That last kiss
I’ll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

Wish you were here.