Everything I eat seems to be going to my hips. Ah yes, and to my stomach too.  Perhaps my middle age middle is acting up again.

No matter what I do. No matter what I eat. (Okay, I have been eating too much dark chocolate. My boyfriend L really likes dark chocolate, so what’s a boomer girl to do?  Not eat it?  Isn’t dark chocolate good for me?) No matter how much I exercise. (Okay, I haven’t been exercising enough. I really do need to do more aerobics. I love my gentle yoga class. Maybe I need to start doing more fast-paced vinyasa flow workouts.)

I’ve only gained a pound or two, yet my clothes just don’t seem to fit me like they used to anymore. My pants are tighter and my waist feels like a ball of rising bread dough that I wish I could punch down into a flat loaf.  Some days I feel like singing Beyonce’s song “to the left, to the left,” only with different words “to the hips, to the hips…

“Mmmm to the hips
Everything is down in a box on the hips”

This morning I was catching up on the February issue of MORE magazine while on my stationary bicycle (trying to get those jiggles on my hips moving). I enjoyed reading psychologist Vivian Diller’s article on “HowTo Let Go Of Wanting to Look Young.  I wonder if that is my problem.  My youthful figure is  fading away.  Vivian used to be a dancer in her 20s and is now 58. She is the author of “Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change.” 

According to Vivian, “it’s okay to cry but then move forward.” Here are her steps to help:

1. Face Your Uh-Oh Moment Head On: Acknowledge that your appearance is changing. (I have.) Dig deep to discover what feeling this elicits beyond fear of losing your looks. Being honest about what you are truly scared of will help you face the transition with more confidence. (Thank you Vivian, I have done this and it’s all in the hips. My fear is that my pear shape is becoming more of a Bartlett. I must learn to love my body just the way it is during my life after 50.)

2. Listen To Your Internal Dialogue: Pay attention to what you tell yourself when you look in the mirror.  (Vivian, you are right. I am over critical of my wrinkles and dark spots on my face.  I am overly sensitive about my stomach rolls and my expanding hips. I will rewrite my dialogue and be easier on myself.)

3. Learn To Appreciate Your Appearance Today: Vivian says I should fast-forward 20 years and imagine seeing a photo of what I look like right now. She says I’ll probably think I look pretty great and might regret that I didn’t enjoy my appearance more when I had the opportunity. (Yes, Vivian, I’m going to change my tune.  Thank you. Thank you.)

4. Make Some Healthy Changes: Instead of clinging to the past or trying to recapture the look I had, I should make positive changes that will help me feel attractive right now. (Hmmm, hmmm, maybe I should go back to Macy’s and buy The Ultimate Push Up Bra by Maidenform which says it works like magic and adds two cup sizes right before my very eyes! I’m sure that will help me feel more attractive right now and also may turn my pear shape into a more hour-glass 50-plus figure.)

Uh, oh…I didn’t finish reading the last step, Vivian really said to make some healthy changes. Okay, okay, I will do that too. I will try to do more exercise too. Thanks for all your great advice.