Today is the big day. The wedding day…not my wedding…no, no, no…and I’m not even in the wedding party…it’s my nephew’s wedding. Don’t know why I am blogging when it is 8:30 am and I should be beginning my wedding prep day…so much to do to get ready. Let’s see, we have to leave for the wedding at 6:30 pm…will I have enough time? The countdown begins!

The Dress or Dresses: If I really want to be accurate…I started back in March with my wedding prep when I bought my two formal dresses…my brown strapless short dress that has a puffy bubble skirt (that I absolutely love since brown is one of my favorite Color Me Beautiful colors)…and the dark indigo Laundry gown that I’ve decided is the winner for tonight even though indigo is not on my list of Color Me Beautiful wearable colors (the clingy, sexy gown that hugs my body and shows off all my curves, including my uneven hip that rides high from all the years of carrying heavy handbags on my left shoulder and carrying my two babies…when they were babies. Wish I had known to flip from side to side when I was a young mom and didn’t develop this left hip habit…then I wouldn’t have a high hip for tonight…although, I can always hold my drink in my right hand and rest it on my protruding hip if I cannot find a cocktail table during the reception!)

The dresses were a bargain at Loehmann’s…highly recommend that store for formal attire…even for 50 year olds…and especially for 50 year olds who want to look like they are 30 year olds. Although after the bargain dresses, I did have to have my tailor alterations for the indigo gown and that cost me almost double the cost of the dress…but fit is very important for formal affairs…for any affairs for that matter.

Hair Yesterday: I started the wedding prep at the top of my head…first things first. I went to get my hair colored and highlighted (can’t do one with out the other as my 50 year old head would attest to)…I sat for almost two hours as my hair colorist turned my sad looking locks into brilliant brown color with golden highlights. And as I waited for my locks to turn color…with the foils flipped up all over my head looking like a science experiment…I started to itch…ooh, aah…I didn’t think I was going to make it through the 20 minute wait. I started to scratch my neck and then the dye got on my ears and fingers.

“What’s going on,” I said to my colorist, “this has never happened so intensely before.” “Just put some Sweet and Low on her head,” he said to his assistant D, “go ahead and sprinkle some sweet stuff on her head.” Hmmm, hmmm, Sweet and Low on my head, add some Sweet and Low to my head, hope my hair will turn out okay, I worried. Luckily, it did the trick and neutralized my head so I could finish up this part of the wedding prep. Off I went sweeter and with more bounce in my step thanks to the better body in my hair.

Nails and Feet: Must soon get ready to do get my nails and feet prepped for the wedding…wish my finger nails weren’t so bitten down…but I will not use fake nails…not for me…don’t want to ruin my nails even further…my nails will be au naturele tonight…just with a little polish…what goes with indigo…think I will use a little shimmery polish this time…and will have to get that pedicure too since my feet will show through my silver sandals (the sandals with the mid-sized heels that I bought to go with the indigo dress…forgot about this additional wedding prep purchase…I didn’t have a need for silver sandals before the wedding invitation.) This nail prep will likely be about an hour or more.

Body Prep:
Have to shower and shave my underarms and especially my legs. My legs must be satiny since they may peek out from the slit in the gown during dancing…if I do dance…(but I did just see Mama Mia last night…and if Meryl Streep can dance at 50+ and so can her 50+ year old friends…then I can dance too…even without a partner…just like they did…I’ll just tell the band to play some Abba songs and see if I can get my 50+ body to start dancing).

Tanning: My friend R dropped off some Loreal self-tanning packets for me to apply…must make sure that my chest and cleavage are fully aligned with the right amount of tan…but not too tan that they make my arms look too light…and my face look too dark…or my face look too light and my cleavage look too dark…and then I have to also worry about my legs if they peek out and look too light and don’t match up with my feet or my hands…and my tan should reflect well with my gold highlights and the bronzer I am going to apply on my face. I think I’m just going to hope for the best or if I mess up with this tanning stuff I’ll just find a dark spot to stand in at the reception so no one will notice my uneven tan (and my uneven hip). I knew I should have tried one of those tanning salon spray tans…too late now.

Accessorizing: Of course, since I picked a gown that is not one of the usual colors in my wardrobe, I had no indigo-matching jewelry. I did purchase some pearl and crystal earrings at the Crafts Show a few weeks ago. Luckily, I also found my grandmother’s crystal necklace up in the closet…crystals are so great because they pick up the color of any dress.

The other day when I was trying on my dress and asked my 18 year old son what he thought…he said, “It looks nice mom… but what about your arms…you need a bracelet or something…and don’t wear your watch…it doesn’t match.” Oh dear, my arms need some jewelry…how could I forget about my arms. So now, I also have to get to the mall today…during all this prep work and hopefully find a bracelet that will highlight my arms (which are the only parts of my body that are a little tan.)

Back to the Hairdresser: At 1:00 pm it is back to the hairdresser (a different hairdresser) to trim and blow out my doo…she always does it better than me…so I decided to splurge for this elegant evening. If my 22 year old daughter can do it…so can her 50 year old mom.

Let’s Face It: At around 5:00 pm, I think I’ll start the make-up session…this one is on my own…I decided that I would not have another Bobbi Brown makeover…I really want to wait until the Fall to get my Bobbi Brown makeover so I can purchase the new Fall colors…why do it now and get makeup to match an indigo dress when I could have a makeover later on that truly matches my Color Me Beautiful colors. Nope, today I’m just going to use my own makeup to make my face shine…but maybe I will buy a new lipstick…that’s after I get to the jewelry counter to get my new bracelet. Good thing I don’t need any undergarments for my indigo dress.

Well, I think that about does it. And what will surely feel like a 100 or so hours of prep…I think I’ll be all ready for the wedding. And so will my daughter and my son. Wish my late hubby were here to go to the wedding with me. He never really worried about these formal affairs like I do. But he will be watching from above…yes, he will be watching closely to see what everyone is wearing and likely be shaking his head in heaven at how much time and money we’ve spent on the evening.

– Two hours to find a dress for the wedding;

– Thirty minutes to alter the dress at the tailor;

– One hour to try on the indigo dress and look in the mirror and decide if I should wear this dress;

– Two hours for hair color and highlights;

One hour to apply self-tanning;

– One hour to take off self-tanning because I applied it unevenly and look like a zebra with tan streaks;

– One hour for manicure and pedicure;

– One additional hour to try on the indigo dress and look in the mirror and decide if I should wear this dress and try on every piece of jewelry I own and decide that only one crystal necklace matches and that I have to buy more jewelry;

– One hour for hairstyling at the salon;

– Thirty minutes for makeup to fix up my 50 year old face;

– One hour to try on two dozen or more lipstick colors to pick out one lipstick to purchase;

– Thirty minutes to pick out a bracelet that goes with my crystal necklace;

– Thirty minutes to squeeze all my stuff from my regular handbag into a teeny tiny evening bag and get the clasp to close;

– Thirty minutes to figure out what shoes to bring along to drive in and to figure out how to get into my Honda Accord in a long slinky gown and get the pedal going without ruining my dress.

Going to the wedding to see my nephew and his beautiful bride get married, priceless.