As I awoke early this morning…at 8:00 am…yes, at 8:00 am on a Sunday morning, I fluttered around the house. I went in the family room and opened the vertical blinds to let the beautiful sunshine in. And I turned off the front porch lights now that the darkness was gone. And I opened my MAC computer and started to blog. No one to worry about disturbing…it was just me, myself, and I.

I realized that there are certain benefits to being single. Not that it is fun being a widow. Oh, yes, how I miss my husband’s companionship. But, this past week, as I truly started living the single life…during the second half of my 50th year…with my son off to college and my daughter readying for her career in the big city…I started to reap the benefits of singledom and the empty nest,

Now, I can eat whatever I want when ever I want it. I’m still adjusting to buying less at the supermarket. It’s not easy when you are used to buying food for a family of four, then three, then two, then just one. No, it is not easy. But, I’m learning. And I’m learning to buy what I want and like to eat. This week I bought salmon, just a small piece, and a half pound of shrimp and half pound of sea scallops too. Love those sea scallops…will have to treat myself more often. No more deli meats or cheeses. Don’t have to stand in line at the deli as much anymore…there are no more lunches to pack in my house unless I’m packing lunch for myself.

I’ve also decided that I must have wine with dinner…yes, every night is special…soooo, I must toast myself every night. And a little wine is good for me. (Okay, I know that I really should drink red wine if I want it to be good for me, but I like my white Pino Grigio the best.)

Now, I can do whatever I want when ever I want to. Yesterday, it rained all day…buckets of rain came down. Luckily, the new sump pump held up or I would not have been doing whatever I wanted to do…no, if the sump pump had given out I would have been using my wet-vac to clean up a mess of water (which is not one of my favorite things).

Instead, I relaxed…I talked on the phone to a friend for almost an hour. And then I watched the DVDs I had rented of “Gossip Girls” first season all afternoon and into the evening too. (Should I admit that at 50 years old I watch this soap opera that is watched by millions of 18-34 year olds? Who cares, I love NYC where this soap opera takes place. And I love all the fashions that these young girls like Blair and Serena wear.) Plus, I was so excited after my son stopped by and showed me how to use the DVD player in my bedroom. I wrote down all the directions as insurance to never forget the steps.

I can yell and scream (and even swear) when things go wrong in the house, like when my uninvited insect and animal friends come to visit. No, I don’t like when the ants or mice decide to make an unannounced visit. Or when there are five deers eating the grass in my backyard like there were earlier this week. But, I can yell and scream (and even swear) and it’s okay.

I can stay up late or get up early. Especially during these peri-menopausal evenings when I cannot sleep a wink. I can turn on the light at 3:00 am and read or blog or watch tv.

I can sleep diagonally on my king size bed. And use four pillows around me if I want to. That is of course when I actually sleep.

I can eat a leisurely breakfast and then go to the gym, or the movies, or take off to the beach. Yes, that is sounding really good right now. It’s Sunday. The sun is shining and the rain is gone. I have so much work to do. And I really want to go to the gym…or maybe go to the MAC store to sign up for classes…or maybe work on my book proposal…or maybe read the newspaper…or finish reading my 800+ page Vogue magazine (will talk about this fall fashion issue in another post – very disappointing to date).

So, let’s see, what does this 50 year old single empty nester want to do on this BEAUTIFUL DAY. It’s 9:17 am. I don’t have any commitments today. I hear those sandpipers calling my name. I think I’ll just get in the car and go.

I’m on my own.