I watched Wanda Skyes special on HBO a few weeks ago. She is a very funny lady. I especially could relate when she talked about her ‘Esther.’ ‘Esther’ is the rolls that have started to appear around her aging stomach and abs.
Like Wanda, I have an ‘Esther,’ however, I think I’ll call my rolls around my aging stomach and abs -‘Ethel.’ Wanda says her ‘Esther’ craves bread and drinks. And she doesn’t like to be put into Spanx.
My ‘Ethel’ doesn’t like Spanx either. Ooh no, Spanx are not fun for my 50+ year old body. I tried a pair on one time and could not sit down. That’s when my ‘Ethel’ was smaller than she is now. I’m sure she would not like to be squeezed into a Spanx ever again.
My ‘Ethel’ craves black and white cookies from the local deli. She also craves pasta and like Wanda’s ‘Esther,’ my ‘Ethel’ craves bread too, especially when it is freshly baked warm bread or rolls in a basket at a restaurant with flavored olive oil for dipping.
My ‘Ethel’ is looking forward to Thanksgiving. It’s one of my favorite holidays and I think it is one of ‘Ethel’s’ favorite holidays too. My ‘Ethel’ always shows up after Thanksgiving, after I have eaten my sister-in-law’s wonderful calorie laden, high-fat stuffing (made with Pepperidge Farm stuffing – and lots of butter – OMG it is soooooo good). My ‘Ethel’ usually likes to pack in the pies on Thanksgiving. Although, this year I was considering making apple, pear or berry cobblers or betties instead of pies. My ‘Ethel’ may not be as happy without the thick pie crust…but a fruit dessert without the pie crust might help me to better manage my friend (or foe) ‘Ethel.’
I do try to exercise ‘Ethel’ away. But, the past few years, she doesn’t seem to want to disappear. Maybe as I strengthen my core with my yoga practices, ‘Ethel’ will go on an extended vacation. Or maybe not. I just may be stuck with my middle aged middle for the rest of my life. My pear-shaped body isn’t going to turn into an apple or an hour-glass any time soon…if ever.
The zen card I selected at my yoga class tonight was ‘happiness.’ It said that ‘happiness comes from within and that no one or thing can take it away.’
Did you hear that ‘Ethel?’ I’m 50+ and my happiness comes from within…whether you decide to hang out or hide out around my stomach and abs for the rest of my life. You cannot take away my happiness. It’s here to stay. And as another one of my favorite female comedians Lily Tomlin always says, ‘and that’t the truth!’
Judi
Where is your Ethel? I haven't seen her around your middle! You don't look like you had 2 kids with Ethel's help at all! If you turn sideways you disappear.
Still, it was very funny!
Just back from my 40th HS reunion. We all looked great…. despite our Ethels and Esthers. As My True Friend sighed, "where do they come from, these rolls????"
Oh, I can soooo identify…