This week marks the eighth month mark…yes, it’s hard to believe that it has been eight months since my husband’s passing. I’ve had good days and not so good days. Some days I wish I could just talk to him again…yes, I wish I could just talk to him and tell him how my day was…tell him that I’m doing okay…but that I miss him so much.
Some days I miss him so much that I go into his closet and I stand there in silence…and I smell his scent so that I can remember the way he was. Yes, his scent still lingers in the closet. So I step in every once in a while…and I smell him…and I think about how his spirit lives on within me…and within our children.
He would be especially proud of me today. I finally made the diet Jello that he always used to make. I put the little mandarin orange halves into the strawberry banana Jello…just like he used to do. Then, I stirred it up for exactly 2 minutes after I poured the boiling water into the bowl. The Jello actually dissolved (it never worked for me before…no…I was not a good Jello-maker…the powder never seemed to properly dissolve when I tried to make Jello when my husband was alive…so I always let him make it). Then I added the cold water, some orange juice and the orange halves. And I put it in the refrigerator to chill. I bought Cool Whip to put on top of my Jello…just like he used to do. He would be so proud of me that my Jello turned out just as good as his Jello always did.
So many moments we shared…little Jello moments.
So many stories we shared…25 years worth of stories that I can now savor.
So many pictures we captured…I love to take out all our photo albums so I can remember what life was like when we were a twosome and then a threesome when our daughter was born and then a foursome when our son came along.
I closed up the safe deposit box today. The box that my husband opened almost 25 years ago when we were first married. And I gave back the key. It’s time to open a new box closer to home…for my new life now.
September will be here next week…the little purple flowers are blooming again on the green plants in front of the house…and everything is going to be okay.
I’m so sorry for your loss… and glad you were able to make the Jello. 🙂
Those little things.
It occurred to me the other day that I haven’t made the spring salad my late husband was famed for creating and bringing along to cook outs. Not once I have made it in two plus years. I am not even sure I remember the recipe (he never wrote it down).
I finally closed the last bank account on our last trip back to the States in June. There is no hurry but I was tired of it costing me a buck a month.
Enjoyed your piece of 50 somethings moms today and will definitely check out more here too.
Wait a minute…you worked for General Foods and you couldn’t make Jello???? that’s too funny!
There is something about you that draws me in. I am older than you by a few years and was never fortunate to find my soulmate. I can’t imagine what you must be going through now in dealing with the ending of your husband’s life and your incredible effervescent goal to live your life fully. I just want you to know that I am a fan and I will be reading your blog and commenting from time to time. Ruth