I’ve been reading all about aging lately. The New York Times had two recent articles about facing up to aging faces. But, what about aging legs? What should a fifty-something female do about aging legs when she has to get all dressed up?
I hardly ever buy dresses. I find it very difficult to find a dress that fits well. Either the dress makes me look too matronly or too immature. It either cuts me at the waist or cuts me at the hip. Most dresses I try on are two low cut at the neckline, especially since I have and always will have no cleavage. (Unless I decide at fifty-something to get breast implants. No, no, no, never, never, never.)
I have a business dinner to attend next week and decided to purchase a new dress. I headed to Loehmann’s after receiving my special Loehmann’s Insider shopper discount that was about to expire. (Do you know loeh*mann*om*ics is a word and it means value-conscious knowledge that you can buy the best designer clothes at huge discount savings?)
I found a pretty deep purple colored dress with cap sleeves and a round neckline that is covered with tiny ruffles. I couldn’t believe it was a size 2 and it fit me. (Note to self: Better not eat too much this week or I won’t fit into the pretty purple dress I just bought.) Since I was practicing loeh*mann*om*ics, I bought earrings and a bracelet to match too.
But, then, but then, but then, I thought — I’m going to be all dressed up, but how shall I cover my legs and what shall I put on my feet?
Thankfully, I pulled out a pair of Anne Klein black silk slingbacks that I had bought years ago with my friend M. (I always buy more than I need when I shop with M. She is such an encouraging shopper.) I never wore these slingbacks. They were quite uncomfortable shoes. However, I was so glad I had decided to keep them in the back corner of my closet instead of donating them to Goodwill during my spring closet cleanup last year. I tried them on with my new purple dress and they looked fab. Okay, okay, I cried, “Judi, you can deal with the pain in your big toes for a few hours to make your feet look fab.”
Now that my feet were taken care of, next on the ‘to take care of list’ were my fifty-something legs. How do I cover up my ugly knees and how do I cover up my spider veins?
Do I wear stockings or do I not wear stockings?
If I wear stockings, what color stockings should I wear? Black or beige, nude or white? Definitely control-top. Or maybe even a Spanx to cover my middle-aged middle.
“What should I do with my legs?” I said to my sixty-something sister-in-law I. She is quite a fashionista and does attend a lot of formal events, so I knew I had called the right person.
“All the young women these days are going out without stockings,” I said to I. It’s like they are doing the European look. But, can I do that? At my age, can I go without stockings to a formal event?”
“No,” said my sister-in-law I. “At our age, we must cover up.”
“Okay,” I replied, “but what color stockings should I wear?”
“Nude,” she said. “It will look just like you aren’t wearing stockings, but your legs will look good.”
“Okay,” I replied, “I will cover my legs.”
Now that the knees and legs were taken care of, I felt a sigh of relief.
Yes, I am one of those fifty-something women, who is mourning ugly knees and veiny legs. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone, as I read in today’s New York Times article on Appreciating Your Value as You Age. According to the article, Dr. Vivian Diller and Dr. Jill Muir-Sukenick, the authors of a new book called “Face It,” say that no matter how stellar their accomplishments – that it’s not superficial to admit that aging is upsetting. They encourage their readers to figure out what’s driving them to have daydreams about a refined face-lift rather than scheduling one.”
I do not daydream about a refined face-lift. Nope, I don’t want any refined face-lift. What would I do with all my anti-aging wrinkle creams? However, if I could lift my middle-aged middle and fix those legs and knees…I might just start daydreaming again.