Tag Archives: boomer women

New Shades For Sunny Days

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life after 50, Dioptics Solar Shield Sunglasses, over 50, sunglassesThis weekend I spent a wonderful two days in NYC to kick off my retirement from my full time corporate job. After 30 years, it was time to have some fun in my favorite city. The weather cooperated with two sunny days.

On Saturday I went to the American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference at the Roosevelt Hotel. I met some very talented writers and consider them to be my mentors. Many had written novels, non-fiction and memoirs. Several had written more than one book. It felt good to say that I am now a “writer” too…and maybe one day I will be an author as well.

On Saturday evening, my kids A and D took me out to celebrate my retirement. We went to Parm, a small, reasonably priced Italian restaurant on the edge of Little Italy (Parm is located at 248 Mulberry St. between Prince & Spring in NoLIta.) My son D is such a foodie and knows all the hot spots around town. We dined on some of the best meatball parm sandwiches, eggplant parm and ooh,ooh,ooh yummy garlic bread. The garlic bread was well-baked, very crispy and served with a rich ricotta cheese and smooth tomato sauce to top it off. To end the meal we had Parm’s ice cream cake which includes three layers of ice cream – pistachio, strawberry and chocolate – with crunchy chocolate bits in-between. Not a spoonful was left by the time we finished.

On Sunday, my daughter A and I headed out apartment shopping. It was a bright sunny day in NYC. I took along the sample of Dioptics Solar Shield® sunglasses that I had received from the Vibrant Nation’s Vibrant Influencer Network, to shade my eyes from the sun.

“What happened to your new Marc Jacobs purple sunglasses?” asked A. “Didn’t you bring your new prescription sunglasses?”

“I love my Marc Jacobs purple prescription sunglasses, however, the glass case is rather large,” I told A. “I enjoy wearing them when I am at the beach, but since we are going to be going in and out of many buildings today and I am going to have to take my glasses on and off, I thought it would be a better idea to try my Dioptics Solar Shield® sunglasses, which fit over my progressives.” I was so glad I had made that decision.

I loved the Dioptics brand. They easily fit over my Silhouette titanium prescription eyeglasses, which I also love because they are so light. I have Silhouette sunglass clip-ons, but the Dioptics brand was even more convenient. Solar Shield® sunglasses are made to fit over your prescription glasses or readers for convenient sun protection. They also have a lightweight nylon frame, polarized lenses to reduce glare, and the lenses block 100% UV rays. Plus the lenses are scratch resistant, which is really good. (Let’s see…we saw about 8 – 10 apartments and I must have taken my Solar Shield® sunglasses on and off about 20 to 30 times that day as we went from apartment to apartment. It was so easy.)

life after 50, over 50, baby boomer women, Dioptic Solar Shield sunglasses

Do I look like my idol Audrey Hepburn in my Dioptic Solar Shield sunglasses?

Are they as fashionable as my Marc Jacobs sunglasses? Well, not really. But I chose the Fashion Collection and as you’ll see from my picture, I thought I looked pretty fashionable in my shades on Sunday. What do you think – do I look like my idol Audrey Hepburn? And for sure, they were really practical and easy to wear and to take on and off. I’m definitely going to pack them for my trip to France.  Of course, my Marc Jacobs prescription sunglasses are coming to France too, I’ll wear them on the beach in Nice.

The Dioptics Solar Shield® sunglasses are really reasonably priced at around $25 a pair, so I may get another pair from the Designer Templates Collection just to keep in my car or to go with my black and coral clothing. Black frames are very trendy this year. (Note that on the Dioptics website it says that the sunglasses are 15% off right now.)

So, did A find a Manhattan studio she liked? Yes, yes, yes. There were so many she liked…and I liked too. I asked the agent if he would give us a special deal if we bought two apartments. “I like your thinking,” said the real estate agent K.

Wink, wink – I had my snazzy sunglasses on when I asked him this trick question, so he could not tell that I was really only joking. That’s not to say that when I become a rich and famous memoirist that I won’t be back to buy my own sunny studio on Sutton Place.

Judi

 

 

 

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

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life after 50, boomer women, over 50, retirementThis week I said goodbye to my 30 year career in corporate communications at one of the most beloved consumer food companies. I won’t tell you the name of this company, but suffice it to say that Andy Warhol’s painting made it even more famous many years ago. I actually have an original framed print signed by the artist himself when I did a PR program with him early on in my career. It hangs on the landing step at my home.

I remember the day I arrived at the company’s corporate headquarters in Southern New Jersey. It was November 1983. I remember it clearly. I arrived from New York City with my blue suit. It had a short-cropped jacket and a full skirt below the knee. My blouse was red and I wore a strand of pearls. I was ready for work in Marketing Communications. Ready to conquer the world and break the glass ceiling as they said in those days. There were IBM electric typewriters — no computers or mobile phones.

Over the years I climbed the corporate ladder, always reaching higher. Networking, mentoring, teaching, learning, sharing, building teams and watching them grow. I worked with four successive CEOs, I helped found and nurture the company’s Women’s Network and developed external and internal communications programs that continue today.

There were good times and bad times in my life during the three decades. I got married to M. I gave birth to my two children – A and D – and joined the ranks of working moms. I lost my dad to heart disease in the late 80s. After 24 years of marriage, I lost my husband at the end of 2007, after a valiant struggle with illness. And just a month ago, I lost my mom at 91 years of age.

My-o-my how times have changed.

For the past five years, I have been living a double life. Judy with a ‘y’ during the day at my corporate workplace and Judi with an ‘i” at night at home on the computer. Yes, during my countdown to 50 I started a little blog. And then the blog grew. And then I turned 50 and started the blog you are reading today. Blogging has indeed become a big part of my life, as have all of you — my blog readers.

retirement, life after 50, over 50, boomer women

Drink some martinis and raise your glasses. I'm retiring from my 30 year corporate career!

In November, The Huffington Post recognized my blog as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Post 50 Women.” A few weeks ago my blog won a 2013 Webby Award Honoree in the Personal Blog Category. And just recently, a publisher came calling to tell me that they loved my writing and that I should submit some of my posts for publication in their journal or perhaps a book. I am very proud of my little blog and look forward to nurturing my community even more during my life after 50. With millions of boomer women across the globe – the sky’s the limit for the JudiBoomergirl brand.

It’s time for me to spread my wings and take off in a new direction. I do hope to write a memoir about my journey these past five years – it’s been quite a transformation since losing my spouse, selling my house and emptying out my nest.

I hope to spend time traveling – my first stop is France with my two favorite people – my children A and D. Plus, there’s also my new partner and fellow planner L – “your mom was so glad you met a new fella,” my aunt told me the other week.

And there is also my condo on the corner at the Jersey shore where I will spend the summers. I bought this little condo almost five years ago as a place to go to grieve and renew after losing my spouse. The ocean is a special place to stop, to breathe and to be.

NYC is calling me too…will I become a New Yorker again? Maybe yes, maybe no.  I am headed that way this weekend, back to the American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference, where last year I won a scholarship for my writing.

life after 50, boomer women, retirement

The door is closed on my first career, but my second act is ready to launch.

When one door closes, another one opens.

I am officially retired from my 30 year corporate career as of April 30th. It’s time for my second act. I am a blogger and a writer now. I am a consultant too — ready and willing to share all my learning with other companies who may need my communications help.

My champagne glass is full, as is my big bathtub. The 6:00 a.m. alarm clock is in the off position. But I’m keeping the coffee pot brewing so that my coffee is nice and warm when I sit down to read The New York Times 
each morning.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, is it Thursday yet? Thursday is the Style Section and the Home Section. How I love them both. Better brew another pot of Joe. Life after 50 is going to be just grand!

Judi

 

 

 

De-Stressing and Saging Away My Negative Energy

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life after 50, baby boomer women, boomer wellness“You seem to be very tense,” said my esthetician D this afternoon as she prepared to massage my upper body. “Your neck and shoulders are extremely tight. Are you stressed?” she asked.

“I’ve just arrived back from a business trip where I was attending a three day meeting and have been doing a lot of sitting,” I replied.

D put coconut oil on my face and then covered it with a Vitamin C mask. It felt so good. “Relax  and calm down,” said D. She put the heating pad under my back and a bolster under my knees.

“I think I need to do some saging,” said D, “to get all the negative energy away that is swirling around you.”

“Really,” I said. “What is saging? I’ve never experienced saging before.”

D took out a dried white sage leaf, lit it and blew out the tip. She took the burning sage which had a fragrant odor and walked around my body several times to release the negative energy. “This may also help you sleep,” said D.

life after 50, boomer wellness, saging

Dried white sage leaves can be used in saging to ward off negative energy.

I felt renewed and refreshed after I left her office. So glad I had decided to make an appointment for a facial. D always gives me sage advice about my skin and now she is saging me too. She even gave me some sage to take home in a little red bag. Now I can sage my house or myself whenever I feel negative energy.

Last week, I learned from a segment on “The Today Show” that April is National Stress Awareness Month. In addition to saging myself to increase my energy there are other things I can do (and so can you) to de-stress.  Here are some tips from the NBC reporter:

 

Exercise can relieve stress. The reporter said that push-ups are a good exercise to build arm strength. I’ve been trying to do my yoga plank pose each morning to see how long I can stay in position. I’m up to about one to two minutes. My yoga teacher N says that Jennifer Aniston got her strong arms doing this pose.

Crying can relieve stress. I’ve been doing quite a bit of this since losing my mom last month. Sometimes I cry at night when I am missing her. I usually tell myself that it’s okay to cry. It’s part of the grieving process.

Bath salts and baths can relieve stress. Ooh, ooh, ooh – I LOVE TO TAKE baths. I mix epsom salts and lavender oil to make my own bath salts. Then I light some candles (and make sure to blow them out when I am done), lay back and relax. (Maybe I should also burn some sage just in case there is any negative energy in my bathroom?)

Swirl around in your desk chair…that’s if your desk chair swirls. Mine does. Here I go…go…go…oops I’m back!

Eat some oranges or put lemon slices in your water. Supposedly, Vitamin C can help lower cortisol levels which contribute to stress in the body. (According to writer Juniper Russo’s post on LiveStrong.com, “The “stress hormone” cortisol enables many important processes within the human body. However, during times of physical or emotional stress, cortisol levels can elevate to unsafe levels, which may lead to a variety of stress-related complications.)

Jump up and down on a big exercise ball or squeeze a stress ball in your hand. I don’t have a big exercise ball at home…will have to get one and put it in my home office near my desk.

How do you de-stress? Do share a tip or two.

Judi

P.S. – Check out The WHOA! Network!, a new website about women honoring our age from two really talented and smart boomer girls, Lynn Forbes and Darryle Pollack.

A Daughter Is A Precious Gift

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It’s the first week of April. That means my daughter’s birthday is coming up and my daughter A is inching up the age bracket. I won’t tell you her exact age (she wouldn’t want me to). I’ll just tell you that she is twenty-something – somewhere between 25 and 30 years old.

It’s been more than a quarter of a century since A came into my life. I was just about the age she is turning this week when I became pregnant for the first time. I was so excited when she popped out of my belly. “It’s a girl,” said the obstetrician. “You have a daughter.” I was scared too. I became a mom and at times I felt like a child myself. How was I going to take care of a baby girl? (Separately, why don’t babies come with a set of instructions on how to be cared for? Huh?  Wish someone would figure out how to do this by now and tweet it out to the world! It would make parenting a whole lot easier.) Would I be able to pass on the family values that my mom (and dad) had passed on to me? Would A and I have the same close bond that my mom and I had from childhood through adulthood?

Looking at the woman A has become, I think I did a pretty good job. (Okay, okay, I must give a huge amount of credit to her dad too. My late husband M was a great dad. He would be so proud of his daughter.) She is a fashionista like me and like her late grandmother P . She is smart and has traveled the world, much more so than I did at her age. She lives in the big city, NYC, just like I did when I was twenty-something. She is on the path to a successful career. I know she will be a CFO one day. Yes she will. She will pursue her aspirations and dreams.

And hopefully one day, yes hopefully one day, she will give birth to a daughter just like I gave birth to her. (Of course, she has time to have a daughter – I am much too young to be a grandma or nana or mom mom yet. Much too young.)

I didn’t know what to get A for her birthday. I’m taking her and her brother D to France next month to celebrate my retirement from my 30+ years of corporate life. That’s her (and D’s) BIG birthday gift this year.  However, being the mom that I am, I wanted to get something small, something tiny but special, to celebrate A’s birthday this week.

life after 50, aging, boomer women

This book by Marci of Children Of The Inner Light struck a special cord with me as I celebrate my daughter's birthday this week.

As I walked into Whole Foods tonight, I found the perfect gift. It is a book. A book by an author who I never read before. The author is named Marci and the book is called “To My Daughter – Love and Encouragement to Carry With You On Your Journey Through Life.” Marci looks to be a boomer girl like me and her company is called Children of The Inner Light.

I stood at the table at the back of the store and read the entire book before I bought it. Just like the book jacket says, “This book has all the right amount of magic and emotion to let your daughter know the unconditional love you feel for her. It is everything you’ve ever wanted to say to your daughter in a way that will touch her heart as much as she has touched yours.” Marci’s words are so eloquent and her stick figures that accompany the words so cute.

Each paragraph was better than the next. My favorite paragraph was titled “I Just Have One Question…Where Did The Time Go?” It is exactly how I am feeling about my daughter A as she approaches her next birthday and as I look back on her life during my life after 50. Here’s Marci’s answer:

“Wasn’t it just yesterday that you were a baby in my arms? I looked at your precious face and wondered where life would take you. Today, I look at the person you’ve become…strong, kind, thoughtful, caring, and optimistic, and I realize that the dreams I held in my heart for you are alive in your beautiful spirit.”

Happy Birthday A! Happy Birthday To You! I hope you read this book cover to cover just like I did tonight. A daughter is truly a precious gift. Cherish all the words, one page is better than the next.

Judi

P.S. – Congrats to Nancy McMahon on winning the March raffle prize of the “Reader’s Digest The Digest Diet.” The book is coming your way soon. I’ll be reaching out to you via email. Thanks for your comment on the blog post: Staying Fit and Fabulous After 50.

P.S.S. – Be sure to read the press on JudiBoomergirl’s blog featured this week in Harvard Business Review at HBR Blog. Read all the great news about the power of boomer girls. We are a strong and vibrant group of women.

Dark Chocolate and Love For Valentine’s Day

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Next week is Valentine’s Day and there’s no better way to celebrate than to show yourself some love during your life after 50 and enjoy some dark chocolate.

Like a good yogi, I set an intention at the beginning of 2013 and my intention was to love myself more this year. Part of loving myself more is to get more sleep, say “no” to more things instead of trying to “do it all,” and take time to practice my mindfulness meditation. Ah yes…and to enjoy dark chocolate.

Leave a comment and enter to win a box of GODIVA Dark Chocolates. Read below for details.

In this month’s AARP Bulletin, Nissa Simon includes “choosing chocolate” as one of her “10 Tips For Better Health.” Nissa says that “Dark chocolate is rich in plant compounds called flavonoids, natural antioxidants that help the body’s cells resist damage that may contribute to cancer and other maladies. In addition to their antioxidant properties, flavonoids help lower blood pressure, improve blood flow to the brain and heart, raise ‘good’ HDL cholesterol levels and lower ‘bad LDL levels – all of which protect against heart attack and stroke.”

No wonder my boyfriend L eats dark chocolate every day, he is so smart. Maybe that’s why he is a healthy boomer guy! I’ll definitely have to give him a gift of dark chocolate for Valentine’s Day.

Nissa quotes Dr. Richard Stein, professor of medicine at New York University School of Medicine, regarding reaping the benefits. She says Dr. Stein recommends  that you “choose dark chocolate that contains at least 70 percent cacao, or cocoa” and “advises to limit yourself to about an ounce a day since dark chocolate does contain calories.”

I visited the GODIVA boutique at Rockefeller Center, NYC, to see their interactive pop-up kissing booth created entirely out of chocolate.

After reading all this wonderful info about dark chocolate, I called up my wonderful friends at GODIVA Chocolatier and they agreed to provide a box of dark chocolates for my Valentine’s Day raffle. So boomer girls…do you want to know how you can win a box of dark chocolates? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

Okay, okay, okay, I’ll tell you. All you have to do is share a comment on this blog post about how you are ‘going to love yourself more in 2013′ (or join Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or follow Twitter@judiboomergirl and leave your comment there). One lucky winner will be chosen at random to win a GODIVA Dark Chocolate Assortment Box (retail value $36). Deadline for comments ends on V-Day February 14th, so leave your comments now. (Note: Boomer guys and Boomlets can enter the raffle too. Okay, okay, okay – all generations can enter. The more the merrier.)

If you want to win other GODIVA chocolates you can enter their “Share the Love” Photo Sweepstakes, which encourages consumers to upload and share photos of themselves with their loved ones on the GODIVA Facebook page and website GODIVA.com, for an opportunity to win and share the grand prize of free GODIVA chocolate with 500 of their beloved Facebook friends. All entrants to the 2013 “Share Your Love” sweepstakes receive 25% off one GODIVA item at GODIVA boutiques or 25% off an $80 purchase at GODIVA.com.

Remember to love yourself during your life after 50 and have a happy and healthy Valentine’s Day!

Judi

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger.  Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a finalist for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’  Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

Plunging Into The New Year

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Happy new year!  I haven’t made any resolutions for the new year. Like a good yogi, I made intentions. In 2013, I intend to reinvent myself. Yes, this is the year that I am retiring from my corporate job and reinventing my life after 50.

I did what my yoga teacher N said to do last week. I spent my time in recapitulation. I wrote down all the good things that happened in 2012 including my daughter A’s promotion at her job, my son D’s college graduation  – yeah, yeah, yeah — plus D’s new job — double yeah, yeah, yeah — and my blog recognition by The Huffington Post as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Women Post 50” — final yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote down the things that didn’t go so well in the world, such as Hurricane Sandy and the terrible tragedies in Newtown, Ct (tears welled up in my eyes again). Then I ripped up the list, just as N said to do. I cannot change the good things or the bad. 2012 is over.

Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge

On New Year’s Day, my boyfriend L and I attended the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge. When the clock struck noon, we celebrated as those around us took off their costumes and jumped into the icy cold waters. “The ocean is warm,” said the master of ceremonies. “It is 50 degrees. Warmer than it is on the beach.” Unlike those adventurous souls who made a big splash, L and I decided to stay on the dry side and just offer good cheers. “Maybe next year I will be more courageous,” I said. “Maybe next year.”

Yesterday, my yoga teacher P told us that the greatest gift we can give ourselves in 2013 is to love ourselves more. “If you love yourself and take care of yourself, you can love others more,” P said. I decided to take P’s advice and not push any of my asanas too far. In 2013, I am going to listen to my body, my mind, and my spirit, and love myself more. I’m going to add the word “no” to my vocabulary. “It’s not a selfish thing to do,” P said.

How will I change this coming year? What new opportunities will come my way? According to John Tierney’s recent article and video from the New York Times, “You Won’t Stay the Same, Study Finds,” new research reports that “When we remember our past selves, they seem quite different. We know how much our personalities and tastes have changed over the years. But when we look ahead, somehow we expect ourselves to stay the same.”

John writes that in the findings published in the journal Science, “Participants were asked about their personality traits and preferences in years past and present and then asked to make predictions for the future. Not surprisingly, the younger people in the study reported more change in the previous decade than did the older respondents.  But when asked to predict what their personalities and tastes would be like in 10 years, people of all ages consistently played down the potential changes ahead.”

This week I will turn 55. As I look back on the past five years, I truly have made some amazing changes in my life. How much will I change during the next five to 10 years? I’m looking forward to growing and evolving even more during my life after 50. I’m ready to take the plunge. How about you? Will you join me? How will you change during your life after 50? Where are you going to start? What are your intentions for the next 359 days — please do share with a comment or two.

Judi

 

Breaking Bread With Those I Love

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The nest was full this week with my two adult children, my daughter A and my son D as they arrived from the big city to visit with me in the suburbs. I was so pleased to have them home…to enjoy their company and to “break bread” with those I love.

“What’s on the menu?” asked A. “What are you cooking?”

Sweet Potatoes with Pecans and Goat Cheese from the Smitten Kitchen Blog

“Saturday is chili, Sunday is spinach pie, Monday is BBQ salmon with a new sweet potato side dish from the Smitten Kitchen blog,” I replied. I made sure that my fridge was filled with food and my cupboard adequately stacked with snacks. “There’s a whole half-pound of American cheese just for D,” I said, so pleased that I remembered to stop by the deli counter when I was grocery shopping. D likes to have American cheese on his bagels for breakfast.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Playing “where did all the water glasses go” each day. I knew where to find them – buried in different spots in D’s room.

It felt good to be mom for a week. A and I went shopping to Nordstrom to check out the new styles from the pre-spring catalog. “Do you want to share the ‘girlfriends’ dressing’ room?” asked the saleswoman J. “Ooh, ooh, ooh, there is a girlfriends’ dressing room. Wow-o-wow. Of course A and I want to share the girlfriends’ dressing room,” I said. It was big enough for two – mother and daughter.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Giving lots of hugs and kisses to A and D and sending them to bed each night with a round of “I love you’s,” just like we used to do when they were young. “I love you too,” said A and D before bedtime.

It felt good to be mom for a week. We cuddled on the couch and caught up on some movies we had missed – Brave and Ruby Sparks – two cute flicks. “How can you possibly watch a Pixar movie (Brave) without a Blu-Ray player?” said D. “I cannot believe you don’t have a Blu-Ray player. You know you eventually will not be able to watch DVDs in the future if you don’t get a Blu-Ray player,” said D. “Really?” I said showing my boomer girl technological ignorance.

The Terrain Cafe in Glen Mills, Pa

It felt good to be mom for a week. I took A and D out to lunch at the Terrain cafe, located in my favorite home and garden shop in Glen Mills, Pa. We each picked a different entree – goat cheese omelet for me, braised short rib sandwich for A and portabella mushroom  sandwich for D. A also ordered the special snickerdoodle latte which was oh so sweet with a scent of fresh vanilla. And we all adored breaking (and eating) the warm bread that had been baked in a clay flowerpot and sharing the cinnamon apple cobbler dessert from a mini-iron skillet.

“I’m so lucky to have a mom like you,” said A. “You introduced us to the joy of good food, you taught us to love trendy fashions, and you encouraged us to travel and learn about the world.” “I’m so lucky to have two great kids who I can enjoy good food with, who I can shop till I drop with, and who want to travel with me to Paris and Provence” I said. “I cannot think of better partners to celebrate my retirement trip with this summer – c’est merveilleux!”

We left the Terrain cafe and headed home. It was hailing and heavy rain. D drove as I navigated – being a good mom, I reminded D several times to be careful and go slow. There was only one detour left on our trip – a stop at the electronics store to purchase a Blu-Ray player. “I will only buy a Blu-Ray player if you will set it up before you go back to the big city,” I said. “Don’t I always?” D responded.

Yes, it felt good to be mom for a week and break bread with those I love. And now I also have a brand new Blu-Ray player so I can watch Blu-Ray movies. Ooh, ooh, ooh, now I can rent The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel at Redbox. They only had a Blu-Ray copy the last time I was at the store – c’est merveilleux!

Uh oh, uh oh. I forgot to ask D to show me how the Blu-Ray player works.

Judi

Five Years And Counting

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“Your husband is a very sick man,” said the doctor at the long-term acute care facility. “He cannot breathe on his own. Do you want to put him back on life support? He will not live much longer. Does your husband have a living will?”

These words were uttered to me five years ago tonight – December 17, 2007. I remember these words like it was yesterday. I felt a weight on my shoulder, yet I could not let M suffer any longer. I could not let my family suffer either. It was time to say good-bye. (M passed away the next day.)

I drove home that evening in a misty fog, just like the rain outside tonight. It was a Monday evening and as the wipers swished back and forth, Alicia Keys’ hit song “No One” played on the radio and I sang along:

“You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry ’cause
Everything’s gonna be alright

And no one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I’m feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel
For you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain”

“No One,” became the top song on my playlist that day and the days and months that followed as I mourned the loss of my husband M and did my best to comfort our two children, my daughter A and my son D.

Heartfelt Memories: Today I wore the gold heart necklace that my late husband M gave me on our first Valentine's Day together.

It is five years and counting. Today I laid a stone on my late husband’s gravesite as I’ve done each December since his death. This year, it is a special stone. It is a big silver and gray stone that I’ve had since I went to the Miraval Spa during my first year as a widow. It is my special stone that has kept me strong all these years. It is my rock. My big rock that I now no longer need to squeeze when I am fearful.

I am a lot stronger and courageous than I was five years ago. I am a student of yoga and mindfulness. I am grateful for my marriage of 24+ years. I am grateful for the two incredible children that M and I brought into this world and for the fantastic adults they have become — in many ways because of the love and nurturing that their dad provided to them. I am thankful for my terrific family, my many good friends and the love of my new partner L.

Oprah says that “You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots.”

It’s five years and counting. There’s a new Alicia Keys’ song on my playlist. It’s called “Girl On Fire” and I think it fits the way I’m feeling now. Yes, I’m getting stronger every day. I think you’ll like this song too. Sing the chorus with me…

“She’s just a girl, and she’s on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, longer like a highway
She’s living in a world, and it’s on fire
Feeling the catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away

Oh, she got both feet on the ground
And she’s burning it down
Oh, she got her head in the clouds
And she’s not backing down

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She’s walking on fire
This girl is on fire”

See what I mean?  Don’t you feel stronger now?  I do.

Judi

P.S. – As I honor my late husband M, I grieve for all the families in Newtown, Conn., who lost their loved ones and especially their children in the violence that overtook that town last week. My sympathies go out to all and I wish them strength in the coming days, months and years to come.

My 15 Minutes of Fame

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The great artist Andy Warhol once said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for 15 minutes.” Yesterday, I had my 15 minutes of fame. Yes, it was a great day. The HuffPo50 website on The Huffington Post recognized my blog as one of “7 Favorites for Post 50 Women.” Not only did they say that they liked my blog, but they featured the photo of me and my daughter A and son D as the lead image for the story.

My daughter A and son D and I were the featured photo on the HuffPo50 "7 Favorite Blogs For Post 50 Women"

“With so many millions of blogs floating about, it’s become increasingly difficult to separate the good from the mediocre, especially when it comes to the ballooning number of blogs designed for those in the fastest-growing segment of the population — midlifers,” wrote HuffPo50 writer Shelley Emling.

“And so we’ve tried to make it easier for you by scouring the web for a look at blogs representing an intriguing kaleidoscope of opinions and then listing a few we consider to be among the best of the bunch,” added Shelley.

OMG! OMG! Wow-o-wow! Wow-o-wow! I jumped up and down. I screamed. I shouted. I felt like I had won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Golden Globe, a Grammy. (Note that the 2013 awards season is coming up soon and I am an awards show junkie.) I was so excited and humbled by the accolades from my family and friends and Facebook fans. Applause and thanks go to all of you, my dear readers, who have supported me and my blog for the past five-plus years to reach this tipping point.

Congrats also to my fellow honorees. I can’t wait to check out your blogs:

Boomer girls rock! Boomer girls are hip and cool!  Boomer girls are great blog writers with lots of wisdom to share.

There is no awards ceremony, so no need to buy a new dress. But I did go out and treat myself to a set of Laura Mercier lipglosses and am ready for any celebrity photos in the future. My boyfriend L thinks that Richard Gere is too old to play him when they turn my future book about my life after 50 into a movie. What do you think? Which sexy boomer guy (with gray hair) should play my beau on the big screen?

Judi

Thinking Pink – Have You Had Your Mammogram?

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I painted my toes pink this month in recognition of October National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

“Just put your arm around this bar and hold it tight. Lean in a little more. Just a little more,”  said the radiology technician as she readied me for my annual mammogram this morning. My tiny left breast went under the squeeze first. Then my tiny right breast went under the squeeze next.

I painted my toes pink for October National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

“Do I have dense tissue?” I asked the technician. According to a recent article in the New York Times, states have begun passing laws requiring clinics that perform mammograms to tell patients whether they have dense tissue. Women who have dense tissue must, under those laws, also be told that it can hide tumors on a mammogram, that it may increase the risk of breast cancer and that they need additional screening tests, like ultrasound or M.R.I. scans.

“Dense tissue is like a thick cloud. You know how you cannot see an airplane above a thick cloud,” said the technician. “That’s what happens when someone has dense tissue, you cannot see the tumor. These new machines are very good at seeing through the clouds.”

My dear friend R passed away from breast cancer this year. She was only in her early 60′s. We met in lamaze class. Our baby girls were born a few weeks apart. My baby girl is now a big girl in the big city. She just got promoted this week. Go A. Go A. Go A. You’ll be a CFO one day. My late friend R’s daughter M just became a doctor. Go M! Go M! Go M! I know you’ll be a great doctor. Your mom would be so proud of you.  I thought of your mom today and think of her often.

“The doctor will call you with the results,” said the technician. “Okay,” I said. Each year when I go under the squeeze I get a little nervous, especially since I turned 50. I say a little prayer that my tiny breasts will remain lump-free.

Have you had your mammogram this year? Next week is the end of October. There are a few days left.  Don’t forget!

Judi