Tag Archives: baby boomer women

Celebrate May Women’s Health Month By Caring For Yourself

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boomer wellness, caregiving, aging, life after 50, over 50As a member of the AARP Blogger Kitchen Cabinet On Caregiving, I was asked to write a blog post in honor of May Women’s Health Month. There are about 10 more days left during May, so if you haven’t done anything to take care of yourself this month then I ask you to take a moment to stop, breathe, and be.

Last week, my yoga teacher N reminded those in the room that “we are all human beings and that we should spend more time being instead of constantly doing.”

Now that I am retired from my full time corporate job, I am learning to adjust to a more flexible schedule – however, I still often feel like I need to be doing rather than being. Maybe it’s because I spent the past 30+ years doing – taking care of my kids, taking care of my spouse, taking care of my mom, taking care of work, taking care of everyone …everyone, everyone, everyone…but myself. Sound familiar? Most boomer girls are great caregivers to others but are not great caregivers to themselves.

During the past five years, after losing my spouse, selling my house and emptying out my nest, I’ve tried to make an extra effort to take better care of myself. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve learned a thing or two along the way and now as part of May Women’s Health Month I’m going to share some of my tips with you. As a caregiver, it’s always easier to listen to someone else’s advice instead of heeding your own.  So here is some advice from JudiBoomergirl:

life after 50, exercise, caregiving, boomer women, over 50

I use my recumbent bicycle for 30 minutes each day.

- Do Your Daily Exercise: Every morning I get on my stationary bicycle and pedal away. Now that I am not working, I pedal for 30 minutes. When I was working full-time, I used to pedal for 15 minutes each morning. It’s a great time to catch up on my pile of magazines. Throughout the week I sprinkle in other forms of exercise like yoga, weight lifting and walking. (During the week as a special treat to soothe my sore muscles, I go have a massage since my friend D is a great masseuse or take a warm bath with epsom salts and fragrant lavender oil.)

- Eat Your Fruits and Vegetables: I used to do public relations for V8 Vegetable Juice many years ago and ever since I always try to eat or drink my five servings of fruits and vegetables each day. A 100% fruit juice, smoothie or piece of fruit for breakfast, blueberries for lunch, salad and more vegetables for dinner. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I should also add my daily serving of dark chocolate covered raisins – raisins are a fruit aren’t they?

life after 50, caregiving, Women's Health Month, boomer women

There really are pink flowers on this plant!

- Take Time To Smell The Roses: I went to the farmer’s market this week to get a sweet potato for dinner. On my way to get the sweet potato I stopped in the flower gardens to see all the beautiful flowers. The colors of the flowers were magnificent, truly magnificent. In addition to my sweet potato, I bought a pot of pink flowers and put the pot in front of my house. Now the pretty flowers brighten my day every time I go outside. (Hopefully, I will remember to water my flowers throughout the summer so that they will not die and will continue to brighten my days all summer long.)

- Talk Or Listen To Your Friends: My friends help me celebrate my good times and help me manage through my bad times. My friends provide fresh or different perspectives on caring for my loved ones or thoughtful advice when it comes to making some of my big and little life decisions. And sometimes it’s great to just talk to my friends and have them listen. Yes, I’ve learned that listening is not only a good leadership skill for business but a good friendship skill to develop and share with others.

- Get More Sleep: Ever since I’ve had kids I don’t get enough sleep. And definitely as a caregiver during the past 30+ years, sleep deprivation has taken its toll on my mind, body and spirit. I’ve seen a sleep doctor, taken sleep medicines and remedies and some nights I just cannot fall asleep or stay asleep thanks to my menopausal moments – which I thought I was over with but apparently am not. (Is it hot in here? Yep, there go the covers.) During my life after 50, I’m determined to get more sleep. It’s a top priority for me and it should be for all boomer girls who want to age gracefully.

So, so, so…what are you going to do to take care of yourself during the next 10 days or during your life after 50? If you are a family caregiver (which I know many of you are) check out the AARP Caregiving Resource Center for more healthful and helpful information. BTW, also check out this article from the New York Times about helper robots, who may someday be our caregivers. Imagine that!

Before I close I want to send out my prayers to those in Oklahoma who were impacted by the terrible tornado that touched down in the midwest this week. Famous blogger Ree Drummond of The Pioneer Woman shares ways you can provide care for those in need in Oklahoma.

Judi

Note: I am a member of AARP’s blogger kitchen cabinet on caregiving issues. All opinions are my own. 

 

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

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life after 50, boomer women, over 50, retirementThis week I said goodbye to my 30 year career in corporate communications at one of the most beloved consumer food companies. I won’t tell you the name of this company, but suffice it to say that Andy Warhol’s painting made it even more famous many years ago. I actually have an original framed print signed by the artist himself when I did a PR program with him early on in my career. It hangs on the landing step at my home.

I remember the day I arrived at the company’s corporate headquarters in Southern New Jersey. It was November 1983. I remember it clearly. I arrived from New York City with my blue suit. It had a short-cropped jacket and a full skirt below the knee. My blouse was red and I wore a strand of pearls. I was ready for work in Marketing Communications. Ready to conquer the world and break the glass ceiling as they said in those days. There were IBM electric typewriters — no computers or mobile phones.

Over the years I climbed the corporate ladder, always reaching higher. Networking, mentoring, teaching, learning, sharing, building teams and watching them grow. I worked with four successive CEOs, I helped found and nurture the company’s Women’s Network and developed external and internal communications programs that continue today.

There were good times and bad times in my life during the three decades. I got married to M. I gave birth to my two children – A and D – and joined the ranks of working moms. I lost my dad to heart disease in the late 80s. After 24 years of marriage, I lost my husband at the end of 2007, after a valiant struggle with illness. And just a month ago, I lost my mom at 91 years of age.

My-o-my how times have changed.

For the past five years, I have been living a double life. Judy with a ‘y’ during the day at my corporate workplace and Judi with an ‘i” at night at home on the computer. Yes, during my countdown to 50 I started a little blog. And then the blog grew. And then I turned 50 and started the blog you are reading today. Blogging has indeed become a big part of my life, as have all of you — my blog readers.

retirement, life after 50, over 50, boomer women

Drink some martinis and raise your glasses. I'm retiring from my 30 year corporate career!

In November, The Huffington Post recognized my blog as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Post 50 Women.” A few weeks ago my blog won a 2013 Webby Award Honoree in the Personal Blog Category. And just recently, a publisher came calling to tell me that they loved my writing and that I should submit some of my posts for publication in their journal or perhaps a book. I am very proud of my little blog and look forward to nurturing my community even more during my life after 50. With millions of boomer women across the globe – the sky’s the limit for the JudiBoomergirl brand.

It’s time for me to spread my wings and take off in a new direction. I do hope to write a memoir about my journey these past five years – it’s been quite a transformation since losing my spouse, selling my house and emptying out my nest.

I hope to spend time traveling – my first stop is France with my two favorite people – my children A and D. Plus, there’s also my new partner and fellow planner L – “your mom was so glad you met a new fella,” my aunt told me the other week.

And there is also my condo on the corner at the Jersey shore where I will spend the summers. I bought this little condo almost five years ago as a place to go to grieve and renew after losing my spouse. The ocean is a special place to stop, to breathe and to be.

NYC is calling me too…will I become a New Yorker again? Maybe yes, maybe no.  I am headed that way this weekend, back to the American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference, where last year I won a scholarship for my writing.

life after 50, boomer women, retirement

The door is closed on my first career, but my second act is ready to launch.

When one door closes, another one opens.

I am officially retired from my 30 year corporate career as of April 30th. It’s time for my second act. I am a blogger and a writer now. I am a consultant too — ready and willing to share all my learning with other companies who may need my communications help.

My champagne glass is full, as is my big bathtub. The 6:00 a.m. alarm clock is in the off position. But I’m keeping the coffee pot brewing so that my coffee is nice and warm when I sit down to read The New York Times 
each morning.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, is it Thursday yet? Thursday is the Style Section and the Home Section. How I love them both. Better brew another pot of Joe. Life after 50 is going to be just grand!

Judi

 

 

 

A Tribute To My Mom

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Tomorrow I will say good-bye to my mom. She passed away this week. She was 91 years old and lived a very full life. But I am sad. Selfishly, I wanted her to live forever…or at least as long as I lived so I could remain a kid without admitting to adulthood.

While I have lots of other BFFs, my mom was definitely my oldest and best BFF. Listening, caring, inspiring, sharing, encouraging and always loving – she was there for me – in good times and bad times.

“What’s up with you? How are the kids?” she asked during what would become our last conversation. “Have you found another job yet?” she questioned, knowing that I am about to retire from my 30+ year career in communications next month.

“I’m retiring mom and I hope to take some time off to relax,” I replied. “Oh, I know you. You won’t be relaxing for too long,” she said. She was right, I have a bucket list a mile long for my second act. She was always right. She knew me well.

My mom brought up my sister N (rt) and I to be strong leaders.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who filled my life with so much passion? I will always remember our summers at the beach – Long Beach, New York – when my sister N and I were growing up. Building sand castles near the water, her dark Bain de Soleil tans, the fireworks on the Fourth of July – she loved summers in Long Beach and so did I. Just a few years ago, when I was preparing to purchase my ‘condo on the corner’ at the Jersey shore, shortly after losing my husband, she was my biggest supporter. Her words of wisdom gave me the courage to take such a big step on my own. “Go for it,” she said. “You’ll enjoy it.” She was right. She was always right. She knew me well.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who instilled a sense of curiosity in my world and a love of education? She saved all the letters from my college days at Cornell — those were the days before computers and cell phones existed – yes, children actually wrote letters to their parents. Each one said, “I’m leaving. I can’t handle the pressure.” Time went on, four years passed, and I graduated. “You see. You did it,” she said proudly as I walked in my cap and gown to receive my diploma. “I knew you could do it.” She was right. She was always right. She knew me well.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who was smart and well-read? My mom could finish the crossword puzzle from the Sunday New York Times Magazine. She would work on the puzzle all week and if she missed one or two words, she would check the answers in the following week’s issue. As for reading, even into her 80s and 90s, she was up-to-date on the latest books, oftentimes recommending good reads from the bestseller list before I had a chance to read them. She was a writer too. When we cleaned out her condo, we found all the poems she had written as a young woman. She was a good writer and she was smart, really smart.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who had style and grace? When I was young I used to play dress up and put on my mom’s pointed toe shoes. She had pointed toe shoes in every color – green satin, pink satin, blue satin, black patent leather – all buried below in boxes in her bedroom closet. Growing up in our small apartment in the Bronx, I so loved to go on our Saturday walks to Fordham Road. On the Grand Concourse was Alexander’s and farther down the street was Loehmann’s. My mom was a fashionista and made me (and my sister N) a fashionista too. (I will miss buying clothes for you mom. But don’t worry – I have made fashionistas of your granddaughter A and your grandson D. And they will carry on the tradition with my future grandchildren. I’ll make sure of that. Yes, I will.)

How do I pay tribute to a mom who brought up her two daughters to be strong leaders? My sister N and I grew up to be successful women because we had an incredible role model for a mom. A Girl Scout leader, a community activist, a working mom, a dutiful daughter, a caring sister and a compassionate wife, even when my dad took ill in his 50s and 60s – my mom took care and rarely complained. She counseled my sister N and I on how to be good moms to our children too.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who knew how to pick good friends and cherish them?  She lived the Girl Scout motto, “Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” Up until this week, she maintained nearly weekly conversations with her BFF D, who had moved all the way to Portland, Oregon. They had been friends since grade school. But my mom was also good at making new friends. She was the ultimate networker, “the talk of the town” as she told my sister when she returned to her residence this past week. Everyone knew my mom. “She was such a sweet lady,” said her residence manager N.

My mom was curious and passionate throughout her life, including her 80s and 90s.

My mom was an independent woman up until two years ago. She lived alone, but was resourceful in finding ways to manage – her cooking, her doctors’ appointments, her cleaning.  But then she took ill, and my sister N and I knew that she needed more help. Change is difficult for anyone, but we convinced her that it was best for her wellbeing to no longer live by herself.

Again, being the resourceful person that she was, my mom found an assisted living residence that she heard was good. When N and I made the arrangements for her new apartment, which included a roommate S, I felt just like I did when I was sending my kids off to college. Her stay included room and board, showers three times a week, exercise classes, a library, weekly shows and monthly trips. “Will mom survive this big change?” my sister N and I wondered.

Well, well, well – what do you think? Yes? Or no?

I know you guessed correctly. My mom not only survived, she thrived in her new environment. Yes, at 89, 90 and up until the past two months when she took ill, she thrived. We even had to limit her activity fees and her hairdresser appointments. “Mom, slow down,” N and I would say, “We don’t go to the hairdresser as much as you do or have as many mani and pedi treatments.” (We did want her to enjoy herself and looking good is an important part of that – so it was  a fine line to draw.)

I’m wearing my pearls today in honor of my mom whose name was Pearl. According to Wikipedia, “The ideal pearl is perfectly round and smooth. The finest quality natural pearls have been highly valued as gemstones and objects of beauty for many centuries, and because of this, the word pearl has become a metaphor for something very rare, fine, admirable, and valuable.”

My mom had all those attributes and more. She was a true gem of a mom and a gem of a person. My world will be forever bright because of her. Her love will always shine with me, as will the memories.

I will miss you…love you mom.

Judi

Cheers To A Healthy Heart After 50

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I would be remiss if I did not have a “heart to heart” conversation with you this month about keeping your heart healthy. Yes, boomer girls, I’m talking to you. Have you had your cholesterol checked lately? If not, this month is a great time to get your lab work done. February is National Heart Month and there are few more days left in the month.

I had my cholesterol checked since I was having issues with the new statin drug Crestor that my cardiologist had given me awhile ago. I was only taking about 3 pills a week at the time but my muscles began to ache around my knees and hips. I thought it was from exercising, but it turned out that even with a very small dosage my body was not welcoming any form of statin.

“What should I do?” I asked my doctor at the time. “There’s nothing more we can try. Just go off everything for now and let’s retest in a few months,” said my cardiologist Dr. P.

My general practitioner Dr. S reviewed my most recent lab results during my wellness check up:

Cholesterol 241 mg/dL – that’s high according to the American Heart Association (AHA) charts. (Uh oh! Oh no! That’s bad.)

HDL 92 mg – Let’s see, the AHA website says that “high HDL cholesterol 60 mg/dL and above is considered protective against heart disease. (Yeah, that’s good.)

Triglycerides 64 mg/dL – AHA says less than 100 mg/dL is optimal. (Wahoo! I’m really doing good with my triglycerides.)

LDL 136 mg/dL – AHA says 130 to 159 mg/dL is borderline high. (Uh oh! Oh no! That’s bad.)

So I have two good numbers and two bad numbers. What should I do? What should I do?

“Your profile isn’t that bad. And your glucose is 87 mg/dL so you are not diabetic” said Dr. S. “Keep taking your fish oil, watch your diet and keep exercising. We’ll check your cholesterol again in a few months.”

I felt a bit better after my visit to Dr. S. I was glad that I had my labs done and am feeling much better – no more aches since I went off the statin drug. I will visit my cardiologist as well next month for my annual heart health checkup.

In the winter issue of the Cooper Hospital Health Connection, Cooper cardiologists report that the symptoms that can signal a heart attack can be different for women versus men. Symptoms for women include:

- Indigestion, nausea

- Burning in chest

- Pain radiating to back, jaw and shoulders

- Dizziness

- Onset sudden, overwhelming fatigue

I also went and bought a jar of aspirin to have in the house just in case I ever have symptoms of a heart attack and need to chew an aspirin while I dial 911.

The New York Times journalist Annahad O’Connor writes in her article “Really? During a Heart Attack, Dial 911 and Chew an Aspirin?” that “Some people may suspect that chewing an aspirin, which inhibits platelet activity that could block arteries during an attack, makes little difference. But a study in The American Journal of Cardiology highlighted its importance. In a group of 12 subjects tested in a laboratory, chewing an aspirin tablet for 30 seconds before swallowing on an empty stomach prompted a 50 percent reduction in platelet activity in five minutes. It took 12 minutes to achieve the same effect when the aspirin was swallowed whole.”

O’Connor further writes that “Dr. Noel Bairey Merz, director of the Barbra Streisand Women’s Heart Center at the Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles, said people who suspect they are having an attack should chew one full-strength tablet, which is 325 milligrams. But most important, she added, is to “get to an emergency room.” (I hear you Dr. Merz and I will listen if this ever happens to me…and thank you Barbara Streisand for all you do for women’s heart health…oh yes, and you sang a beautiful tribute to Marvin Hamlisch at the Oscars last night, my favorite song “Memories.”)

I hope to keep my baby boomer heart beating healthfully during my life after 50. Better not eat too many pieces of blueberry pie – instead I’ll try to enjoy my blueberries with a little non-fat frozen yogurt .

Cheers to heart health. How are you keeping your cholesterol down? Do please share a tip or two.

Judi

P.S. – Note if you are receiving my posts via email subscription and would like to leave a comment, just click on my name and it will take you to my blog and you can leave a comment.

 

Boomer Girl Beauty Problems

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My friends at Boombox Network sent along some findings from their recent Beauty Survey that I thought I would share and provide commentary on. Their simple infographic below tells the story about the “beauty problems that bother boomer women most.”

Here’s what the beauty survey found:

And here is my commentary:

Hair color: I agree. I not only color my gray away but add highlights for extra body and fullness. I consider hair one of my most important accessories that I wear every day. It is so worth the extra cost to keep it fluffy during my life after 50. BTW, I’ve started to massage a little bit of Macadamia or Moroccan Oil on my hair and scalp after I wash it and find that the oil keeps my hair and scalp nice and moist during the dry winter months.

Skin texture: I’m lucky that my skin is clear and free of acne (most of the time). My daily skin regimen includes Murad Renewing Cleansing Cream (compliments from last summer’s Boombox blogger party) with my Clarisonic Mia skin cleansing brush (compliments from the nice Clarisonic PR lady who I met last fall at the FOF Beauty Bash) and then I top off with L’Oreal Youth Code Day Night Cream Moisturizer (which I had to purchase myself – but I like the texture), followed by my Bobbi Brown Moisturizing Foundation with SPF in the winter and Skinceuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense SPF 50 during the summer to protect my skin.

Uneven skin tone and aging spots: Uh yeah! Uh yeah! I have lots of aging spots. Wish I could get rid of those aging spots. My esthetician D says to stay out of the sun or be sure to use sunscreen to keep aging spots away. I don’t know if I can do that since I love my condo on the corner at the beach and plan to spend more time there this summer once I am semi-retired. I’ve tried multiple lightening creams but have not found one that really works.

Yellowing teeth: Yes, yes, yes. I drink too much tea that stains my teeth. I did try whitening my teeth a few years ago. Will have to try those new Crest Whitening Strips that I read about – perhaps they will make my teeth whiter.

Facial hair: My 91 year old mom asked my sister N to get her a small facial shaver that she saw in an infomercial the other day while watching TV. “I use one of those small facial shavers to clear my mustache before I bleach since I find that waxing irritates my skin,” I told my mom. “It works great.”

Dark circles: According to Shelley Levitt’s feature on WebMD, “With age, the skin around the eye thins, exposing the tiny blood vessels that lie just below.” To cover up dark circles I use Smashbox Camera Ready Concealer and put it on like the makeup artists suggest — “Lightly pat the concealer on from the inner corner of your eye to just past the outer corner.”

Shelley writes that dermatologist Valerie Goldburt, MD, PhD, of NYU Langone Medical Center suggests these four things to help keep your eyes looking youthful:

1. Don’t smoke, and always apply a sunscreen around the eye area.

2. Apply a moisturizer to the eye area nightly.

3. Add a prescription retinoic acid — the vitamin A cream that goes by the generic name tretinoin – to your daily skin care regimen. “It’s the single best thing you can use to prevent wrinkles and improve existing lines,”

4. To calm puffy eyes, place cold spoons, slices of cucumbers, chilled tea bags, or even a package of frozen peas under your eyes. The cool temperatures reduce swelling.

Forehead wrinkles and lines around lips:  I have lots of wrinkles and lines and lines and wrinkles. That’s why when Olga from Arbo Labs contacted me to offer me a sample of their new line of ArboRX natural moisturizers and serums I said “absolutely, send samples my way and I will try them out.” Olga says that “As we age, skin loses it’s natural firmness and elasticity, and new skin cells take longer to regenerate. Mature skin needs more specialized skin care products to address dull and uneven tone, fine lines and wrinkles, and dry complexion.” I just put the new ArboRX serum, moisturizer and emulsion on my face last night. Haven’t seen any wrinkles disappear yet, but it is too early to tell…will let you know in a future beauty post. However, you know, you know, you know…this boomer girl will try anything that promises to get rid of her wrinkles, even if it is only one or two lines.

So what beauty problems bother you during your life after 50? Do you have any beauty products you especially like or beauty secrets to share? Do tell. Do tell.

Judi

P.S. – Thanks to all my readers who left comments on my Valentine’s Day blog post. Congrats to Allison, who is the winner of the Valentine’s Day raffle prize of a box of Godiva Dark Chocolate.

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger.  Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a finalist for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’  Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

Retiring Early: What I Learned In My First Six Months

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This week, I am  pleased to present a guest post from a fellow boomer girl and one of my blog readers. Her name is Moira and she recently retired. Moira’s words of wisdom about the wonderful discoveries and exciting explorations during this special time in her life have helped ease my Type A jitters as I begin to think about my own early retirement. Yes, I will be leaving my corporate career this spring. There are so many new opportunities  to experience. I can’t wait. Thank you Moira for sharing your inspiring story:

Moira Donoghue

I am 60 and I am enjoying my seventh fire of the winter – sitting in a comfortable chair, accompanied by a good book, a glass of sherry and a warm and gentle kitten by my side. Why is it significant that this is my seventh fire of the winter? And that I just restocked my firewood supply for the first time in years? For me, enjoying this many long evenings in front of a fire, just half way through the winter, is one of the symbols of what I have learned in my first few months as a retired woman.

I retired in May from a 36-year professional career. It was a career that brought great satisfaction, time with amazing people and interesting travel. But it was a career that also brought a deep weariness and a nagging frustration that my life had narrowed. There was never enough time to read in front of my fireplace or even buy firewood.

Moira enjoys time by the fireplace with her kitten.

Writing this guest post has forced me to clarify my thoughts about retirement.  Here’s what I’ve learned in this short time:

Deciding to retire is one decision; how to “be retired” is an entirely different one. Deciding to retire is all about finances, shedding a work persona, and saying goodbye to colleagues. I was unable to get to the decision to retire until I put on hold the decisions about how I would spend my time after retirement. For me, deciding to retire needed its own focus.  Realizing I had confused two distinct decisions got me unstuck and I was able to give the decision to retire the full attention it deserved.

I needed a period of transition to understand how to “be retired”. When I started talking about retirement, some friends advised not to retire without knowing exactly how I would spend my time. “Don’t fall off that cliff”, they warned. Others said I wouldn’t know what I wanted to do until I was retired – which turned out to be true for me. I needed time to disconnect. To meet new people. To test out new interests, some lurking for years on the sidelines. To sleep late and take naps. To let my mind wander. To “Google” every thread of interest I could uncover to see where it led. (In fact, that’s how I found Judi’s blog). Such time for exploration isn’t right for everyone but it was right for me. I am now settling into some choices, which feel good because I took the time to explore.

The real joy of retirement is the luxury of time. My sweetest lesson has been that retirement is really about having the time to do exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it. I can’t overstate how important this point is. I am making the choices that give me the great happiness because they truly are my first choices.

I still possess a valuable collection of skills.  All this exploration over the last few months has also shown me that the skills I developed over my worklife can be put to valuable use in new and sometimes unexpected ways. To help others. To learn. To have fun. It was real work to separate from my work persona, but I see now that I have not lost any of my skills just because I stopped working. Funny that it took me awhile to understand that.

Negative thoughts happen; they just do.  Do I really have enough in savings? Why have I started thinking of myself as “old”? If I am not working, am I still valuable? Why am I calling retirement my “final chapter”?  Will I be bored? Apologies for the drama, but these are real fears that creep into my thoughts at the oddest times. For a few months, they were pretty unsettling. I finally just decided they aren’t useful so I trained myself to dismiss them when they creep in. And they do. They are part – a small part – of the big change I am still experiencing.

So with the benefit of several months of self-reflection, I now find myself more comfortable than ever about my decision to retire and how to “be retired.”  I am happier here in my first year of retirement than I ever expected to be.  When the time is right for you, I wish you all the same joy, and ultimately, clarity.

I hope you enjoyed Moira’s guest post. Let me know if you have a story about your life after 50 that you would like to share with fellow boomer girls. Would you like to write a guest post?  Send along a note or leave a comment.

Judi

Staying Healthy During Middle Age

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After turning 55 last week, I can no longer check off the 45 – 54 box when I’m asked my age. And I’m no longer part of the standard 28 -54 female advertising target. Yep,  I’m inching up the ladder of my life after 50. I’m smack in the middle with a growing middle-age middle.

There are some benefits. For example, at 55, my local theater ranks me as a senior so I can get a discount at the movies. My boyfriend L and I usually go to the early bird shows.  We cannot stay up for any late shows.

I did watch Jodie Foster celebrate her five decades of film and shout out “I’m 50, I’m 50″ at the Golden Globes this past Sunday. I’m glad she is proud to say she is 50, but I think she is too young to be recognized for a lifetime achievement award. She’s not done yet, even if she claims to be hanging up the towel. Doesn’t she know that the best part of her life is yet to come? (BTW, Jodie did look fabulous in her sleeveless Armani gown. No batwings for her.)

I made a promise to myself this year that I am going to love myself more. If you read my previous post “Plunging Into The New Year,” you know that if you love yourself more, you can love others even more.

So how am I going to take better care of myself in 2013? For starters, I’m going to listen to the tips that Dr. Oz offers up in the January issue of The Oprah Magazine. Dr. Oz says that in my 50s I should “take a few preventive measures to ensure my well-being for another half-century.”  I like his tips.  In fact, I already practice his advice:

  • Give It Your Om: Dr. Oz is a huge fan of yoga at any age. (So am moi. So am moi.) He reports that “a 2012 study in the journal Menopause found that it’s particularly beneficial for postmenopausal women coping with insomnia. (Moi. Moi.)  If you are not sleeping well, Dr. Oz suggests trying the Child’s Pose and Bridge Pose. (Since I am a practicing yogi, I am going to try these two poses tonight before I go to sleep…or try to go to sleep.  Ooh, ooh, ooh, according to an article in The New York Times – A Moment of Zen, on the Go - a study released by Yoga Journal – which moi is a subscriber – “the number of Americans practicing yoga jumped 29 percent to 20.4 million – or 8.7 percent of American adults – since the previous study in 2008, when 15.8 million practiced. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I keep up with the trends. Yes I do.)
  • Bulk Up On B’s: Dr. Oz says that “the same vitamins that keep your energy up also lower your body’s levels of homocysteine, an amino acid that may be linked to hardening of the arteries. He says to get your daily allowance of B6 (1.5 milligrams), B12 (2.4 micrograms), and folate (400 micrograms) from your diet. Let’s see, I can get B6 from sweet potatoes (yum, yum, yum) and B12 from the low-fat mozzarella cheese that I add to my pizza. Plus, I get folate from spinach and beets. (I especially like roasted beets. They are a very trendy vegetable and look very pretty as a sidedish or in a salad. In fact, even better are sauteed beet greens. Have you ever tried them?) I also eat fortified cereal for breakfast which is full of B vitamins.
  • Avoid Overdoing The Booze: I’m not a big drinker, but I do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner most evenings. Ooh, Dr. Oz says that while “a drink a day may keep the doctor away by reducing your risk of heart disease and stroke, excessive alcohol consumption increases the risk of developing various cancers.
  • Get Screened For Colon Cancer: Dr. Oz says “more than 90 percent of all colon cancer cases are diagnosed in people age 50 and over. He says that he “had a precancerous polyp just after his 50th birthday. (I hear you Dr. Oz. With a history of IBS – Irritable Bowl Syndrome – I definitely need to be screened. I’m already on the case with a scheduled appointment for February. Ooh, ooh, ooh, that prep is the worst. Maybe one day the prep will include chocolate ice cream instead of Gatorade and Miralax.)

Dr. Oz provided tips for “Your 60s and Beyond.” However, I have another five years to go before I reach that age. I think I’ll just work on these four areas first.

How are you loving yourself more this year?  Do share a tip or two.

Judi

Plunging Into The New Year

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Happy new year!  I haven’t made any resolutions for the new year. Like a good yogi, I made intentions. In 2013, I intend to reinvent myself. Yes, this is the year that I am retiring from my corporate job and reinventing my life after 50.

I did what my yoga teacher N said to do last week. I spent my time in recapitulation. I wrote down all the good things that happened in 2012 including my daughter A’s promotion at her job, my son D’s college graduation  – yeah, yeah, yeah — plus D’s new job — double yeah, yeah, yeah — and my blog recognition by The Huffington Post as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Women Post 50” — final yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote down the things that didn’t go so well in the world, such as Hurricane Sandy and the terrible tragedies in Newtown, Ct (tears welled up in my eyes again). Then I ripped up the list, just as N said to do. I cannot change the good things or the bad. 2012 is over.

Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge

On New Year’s Day, my boyfriend L and I attended the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge. When the clock struck noon, we celebrated as those around us took off their costumes and jumped into the icy cold waters. “The ocean is warm,” said the master of ceremonies. “It is 50 degrees. Warmer than it is on the beach.” Unlike those adventurous souls who made a big splash, L and I decided to stay on the dry side and just offer good cheers. “Maybe next year I will be more courageous,” I said. “Maybe next year.”

Yesterday, my yoga teacher P told us that the greatest gift we can give ourselves in 2013 is to love ourselves more. “If you love yourself and take care of yourself, you can love others more,” P said. I decided to take P’s advice and not push any of my asanas too far. In 2013, I am going to listen to my body, my mind, and my spirit, and love myself more. I’m going to add the word “no” to my vocabulary. “It’s not a selfish thing to do,” P said.

How will I change this coming year? What new opportunities will come my way? According to John Tierney’s recent article and video from the New York Times, “You Won’t Stay the Same, Study Finds,” new research reports that “When we remember our past selves, they seem quite different. We know how much our personalities and tastes have changed over the years. But when we look ahead, somehow we expect ourselves to stay the same.”

John writes that in the findings published in the journal Science, “Participants were asked about their personality traits and preferences in years past and present and then asked to make predictions for the future. Not surprisingly, the younger people in the study reported more change in the previous decade than did the older respondents.  But when asked to predict what their personalities and tastes would be like in 10 years, people of all ages consistently played down the potential changes ahead.”

This week I will turn 55. As I look back on the past five years, I truly have made some amazing changes in my life. How much will I change during the next five to 10 years? I’m looking forward to growing and evolving even more during my life after 50. I’m ready to take the plunge. How about you? Will you join me? How will you change during your life after 50? Where are you going to start? What are your intentions for the next 359 days — please do share with a comment or two.

Judi

 

Five Years And Counting

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“Your husband is a very sick man,” said the doctor at the long-term acute care facility. “He cannot breathe on his own. Do you want to put him back on life support? He will not live much longer. Does your husband have a living will?”

These words were uttered to me five years ago tonight – December 17, 2007. I remember these words like it was yesterday. I felt a weight on my shoulder, yet I could not let M suffer any longer. I could not let my family suffer either. It was time to say good-bye. (M passed away the next day.)

I drove home that evening in a misty fog, just like the rain outside tonight. It was a Monday evening and as the wipers swished back and forth, Alicia Keys’ hit song “No One” played on the radio and I sang along:

“You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry ’cause
Everything’s gonna be alright

And no one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I’m feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel
For you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain”

“No One,” became the top song on my playlist that day and the days and months that followed as I mourned the loss of my husband M and did my best to comfort our two children, my daughter A and my son D.

Heartfelt Memories: Today I wore the gold heart necklace that my late husband M gave me on our first Valentine's Day together.

It is five years and counting. Today I laid a stone on my late husband’s gravesite as I’ve done each December since his death. This year, it is a special stone. It is a big silver and gray stone that I’ve had since I went to the Miraval Spa during my first year as a widow. It is my special stone that has kept me strong all these years. It is my rock. My big rock that I now no longer need to squeeze when I am fearful.

I am a lot stronger and courageous than I was five years ago. I am a student of yoga and mindfulness. I am grateful for my marriage of 24+ years. I am grateful for the two incredible children that M and I brought into this world and for the fantastic adults they have become — in many ways because of the love and nurturing that their dad provided to them. I am thankful for my terrific family, my many good friends and the love of my new partner L.

Oprah says that “You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots.”

It’s five years and counting. There’s a new Alicia Keys’ song on my playlist. It’s called “Girl On Fire” and I think it fits the way I’m feeling now. Yes, I’m getting stronger every day. I think you’ll like this song too. Sing the chorus with me…

“She’s just a girl, and she’s on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, longer like a highway
She’s living in a world, and it’s on fire
Feeling the catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away

Oh, she got both feet on the ground
And she’s burning it down
Oh, she got her head in the clouds
And she’s not backing down

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She’s walking on fire
This girl is on fire”

See what I mean?  Don’t you feel stronger now?  I do.

Judi

P.S. – As I honor my late husband M, I grieve for all the families in Newtown, Conn., who lost their loved ones and especially their children in the violence that overtook that town last week. My sympathies go out to all and I wish them strength in the coming days, months and years to come.

My 15 Minutes of Fame

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The great artist Andy Warhol once said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for 15 minutes.” Yesterday, I had my 15 minutes of fame. Yes, it was a great day. The HuffPo50 website on The Huffington Post recognized my blog as one of “7 Favorites for Post 50 Women.” Not only did they say that they liked my blog, but they featured the photo of me and my daughter A and son D as the lead image for the story.

My daughter A and son D and I were the featured photo on the HuffPo50 "7 Favorite Blogs For Post 50 Women"

“With so many millions of blogs floating about, it’s become increasingly difficult to separate the good from the mediocre, especially when it comes to the ballooning number of blogs designed for those in the fastest-growing segment of the population — midlifers,” wrote HuffPo50 writer Shelley Emling.

“And so we’ve tried to make it easier for you by scouring the web for a look at blogs representing an intriguing kaleidoscope of opinions and then listing a few we consider to be among the best of the bunch,” added Shelley.

OMG! OMG! Wow-o-wow! Wow-o-wow! I jumped up and down. I screamed. I shouted. I felt like I had won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Golden Globe, a Grammy. (Note that the 2013 awards season is coming up soon and I am an awards show junkie.) I was so excited and humbled by the accolades from my family and friends and Facebook fans. Applause and thanks go to all of you, my dear readers, who have supported me and my blog for the past five-plus years to reach this tipping point.

Congrats also to my fellow honorees. I can’t wait to check out your blogs:

Boomer girls rock! Boomer girls are hip and cool!  Boomer girls are great blog writers with lots of wisdom to share.

There is no awards ceremony, so no need to buy a new dress. But I did go out and treat myself to a set of Laura Mercier lipglosses and am ready for any celebrity photos in the future. My boyfriend L thinks that Richard Gere is too old to play him when they turn my future book about my life after 50 into a movie. What do you think? Which sexy boomer guy (with gray hair) should play my beau on the big screen?

Judi