Celebrate May Women’s Health Month By Caring For Yourself

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Judi

As a member of the AARP Blogger Kitchen Cabinet On Caregiving, I was asked to write a blog post in honor of May Women’s Health Month. There are about 10 more days left during May, so if you haven’t done anything to take care of yourself this month then I ask you to take a moment to stop, breathe, and be.

Last week, my yoga teacher N reminded those in the room that “we are all human beings and that we should spend more time being instead of constantly doing.”

Now that I am retired from my full time corporate job, I am learning to adjust to a more flexible schedule – however, I still often feel like I need to be doing rather than being. Maybe it’s because I spent the past 30+ years doing – taking care of my kids, taking care of my spouse, taking care of my mom, taking care of work, taking care of everyone …everyone, everyone, everyone…but myself. Sound familiar? Most boomer girls are great caregivers to others but are not great caregivers to themselves.

During the past five years, after losing my spouse, selling my house and emptying out my nest, I’ve tried to make an extra effort to take better care of myself. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve learned a thing or two along the way and now as part of May Women’s Health Month I’m going to share some of my tips with you. As a caregiver, it’s always easier to listen to someone else’s advice instead of heeding your own. So here is some advice from JudiBoomergirl:

life after 50, exercise, caregiving, boomer women, over 50

I use my recumbent bicycle for 30 minutes each day.

- Do Your Daily Exercise: Every morning I get on my stationary bicycle and pedal away. Now that I am not working, I pedal for 30 minutes. When I was working full-time, I used to pedal for 15 minutes each morning. It’s a great time to catch up on my pile of magazines. Throughout the week I sprinkle in other forms of exercise like yoga, weight lifting and walking. (During the week as a special treat to soothe my sore muscles, I go have a massage since my friend D is a great masseuse or take a warm bath with epsom salts and fragrant lavender oil.)

- Eat Your Fruits and Vegetables: I used to do public relations for V8 Vegetable Juice many years ago and ever since I always try to eat or drink my five servings of fruits and vegetables each day. A 100% fruit juice, smoothie or piece of fruit for breakfast, blueberries for lunch, salad and more vegetables for dinner. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I should also add my daily serving of dark chocolate covered raisins – raisins are a fruit aren’t they?

life after 50, caregiving, Women's Health Month, boomer women

There really are pink flowers on this plant!

- Take Time To Smell The Roses: I went to the farmer’s market this week to get a sweet potato for dinner. On my way to get the sweet potato I stopped in the flower gardens to see all the beautiful flowers. The colors of the flowers were magnificent, truly magnificent. In addition to my sweet potato, I bought a pot of pink flowers and put the pot in front of my house. Now the pretty flowers brighten my day every time I go outside. (Hopefully, I will remember to water my flowers throughout the summer so that they will not die and will continue to brighten my days all summer long.)

- Talk Or Listen To Your Friends: My friends help me celebrate my good times and help me manage through my bad times. My friends provide fresh or different perspectives on caring for my loved ones or thoughtful advice when it comes to making some of my big and little life decisions. And sometimes it’s great to just talk to my friends and have them listen. Yes, I’ve learned that listening is not only a good leadership skill for business but a good friendship skill to develop and share with others.

- Get More Sleep: Ever since I’ve had kids I don’t get enough sleep. And definitely as a caregiver during the past 30+ years, sleep deprivation has taken its toll on my mind, body and spirit. I’ve seen a sleep doctor, taken sleep medicines and remedies and some nights I just cannot fall asleep or stay asleep thanks to my menopausal moments – which I thought I was over with but apparently am not. (Is it hot in here? Yep, there go the covers.) During my life after 50, I’m determined to get more sleep. It’s a top priority for me and it should be for all boomer girls who want to age gracefully.

So, so, so…what are you going to do to take care of yourself during the next 10 days or during your life after 50? If you are a family caregiver (which I know many of you are) check out the AARP Caregiving Resource Center for more healthful and helpful information. BTW, also check out this article from the New York Times about helper robots, who may someday be our caregivers. Imagine that!

Before I close I want to send out my prayers to those in Oklahoma who were impacted by the terrible tornado that touched down in the midwest this week. Famous blogger Ree Drummond of The Pioneer Woman shares ways you can provide care for those in need in Oklahoma.

Judi

Note: I am a member of AARP’s blogger kitchen cabinet on caregiving issues. All opinions are my own.

Some Wonderful Words From My Daughter

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Judi

Since this Sunday is Mother’s Day, I thought I would share a special blog post from a special person in my life — my daughter A. Yes, my daughter A is my guest blogger for this week. She gave a rousing speech at my retirement party last month when I left my corporate communications job after 30 years.

As I think about my successes in life, being a mother ranks higher than any of my other careers, financial accomplishments or life experiences. The gratitude and love I have for my two wonderful children — my daughter A and son D — and the legacy that I (and my late husband M) have created with them are my greatest achievement for sure.

My daughter A’s words moved me to tears along with a few laughs too. I hope you enjoy her remarks. Take it away A…

life after 50, parenting, baby boomer women, over 50

My daughter A gave rousing remarks at my retirement party

“Most of the time when a young girl is asked what she wants to be when she grows up, the answers are usually a ballerina, a princess, an actress or a singer. But as far back as I can remember, I have always said that when I grow up I am going to be just like my mom.

I wanted to live in New York City and be a businesswoman. I also wanted to do all of this, get married, have kids and raise a family all at the same time. So I guess, you could say, that growing up I wanted to be a superhero – but more specifically, superwoman. My mom has many powers, to say the least.

She is the smartest and most knowledgeable person I know. She graduated from high school a year early and was second in her class. She also reads The New York Times every morning – and not just for the current events, but also because it connects her to her roots in New York City, a city that she grew up in and if given the choice, probably would have never left and during her life after 50 may even move back to.

She always seems to know what is going on at any given company, what’s new, what’s hip and what’s innovative. She always likes to instill this knowledge to her children – like that time my brother needed a summer internship and my mom made him email the founders of this chocolate company that she saw in the newspaper. My brother D ended up getting a job with the chocolate company and working there that summer.

For those of you who know me, I have extremely high aspirations of running a company one day – on a monthly basis my mom sends me CFO magazine, which usually includes Post-it notes with the people she thinks I should email and connect with to help me make that goal a reality.

My mom is the strongest and bravest person I know. Not many people lose their spouse and have to start their life over at the age of 50, but she did and she did it with grace, never missing a beat – throwing herself into her writing and her blog and focusing on keeping life as normal as possible for my brother and me.

She is also a risk taker; sometimes when people go through traumatic events in their lives, they take an extravagant vacation or buy a fancy sports car – my mom bought a house. I remember when she told me she bought that beach house at the Jersey Shore. In the beginning, I actually thought she was a little crazy because growing up we never really went to the beach, my dad was not really a beach person. But then I saw how happy and relaxed she was down at the shore, and suddenly the idea didn’t seem as crazy to me anymore. My mom took a risk on that house and in the end that risk turned into a great reward.

My mom is a fashionista. In case you haven’t noticed, my mom accessorizes very well. Very rarely will you find her without her signature item – her scarf. If you saw her closet, you’d see that she has one in every color and every pattern. I tried to count them once but eventually lost track. My mom also loves to shop. If you asked her what her favorite time of year is, I’m pretty sure she’d say July and not because it’s summer, but because it’s the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

My mom and I have a ritual – I usually take off from work and come home, and we do our biggest shopping trip of the year together – sometimes we even invite my brother D. I think we broke a record one year – our shopping trip at Nordstrom lasted eight hours. You may think this is a joke, but I’m not even exaggerating. When mom and I are together – there is no stopping us.

My mom’s love of shopping has definitely been passed on to me. A few summers ago my boyfriend and I had just broken up so to make me feel better my mom took me shopping. On our way out of the mall, we walked by the Louis Vuitton store. We decided to go in. I proceeded to try on bags and was on the verge of buying one when I said “Mom, be honest here – am I crazy?” Her response, the PG version, was “Screw it. You only live once.”

And so I bought that handbag and these are now words that I live by. Anytime I am indecisive about buying anything I think of what my mom said and I say “Screw it. I only live once.” Suffice it to say that I have a lot of clothes and a VERY extensive shoe collection.

My brother and I have learned a lot from our mom in both our professional and personal lives. She has inspired us to be career driven, to always go after what we want no matter how unattainable and that no obstacle is too great to overcome. She has taught us to dress the part, because eventually, if we are going to run companies, we have to look good doing it. And most importantly, she has taught us that life doesn’t always go as planned. We must take chances and risks, embrace new opportunities with enthusiasm, even if we have doubt, and if we believe in ourselves, we can make any dreams of ours become a reality.

Thank you.”

life after 50, Godiva chocolates, baby boomer women, Mother's Day

Enter to win a box of GODIVA chocolates!

What do you think? Didn’t A do a good job? How has your mom inspired your success? Share your thoughts and you’ll be entered into my Mother’s Day raffle where one lucky winner will receive a box of GODIVA chocolates (courtesy of my friends from GODIVA Chocolatier). Leave a comment on this blog post or “like” Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or “follow” judiboomergirl on Twitter and leave your comment there. Deadline for entry is Sunday, May 12, 2013.

GODIVA is celebrating inspirational women by offering a gift that also makes a difference in lives of children in need. GODIVA has partnered with FEED for Mother’s Day to create an exclusive “FEED 10 Tote Bag”, as part of their corporate philanthropy initiative, The Lady GODIVA Program. Each “FEED 10 Tote Bag” will be bundled with either a $30 or $50 box of GODIVA chocolate and provides 10 school meals to children in cocoa-producing regions through United Nations World Food Programme (WFP). Stop by a GODIVA boutique or go to www.godiva.com to get your Mother’s Day chocolates and tote bag.

Celebrate your mom and have a happy Mother’s Day!

Judi

De-Stressing and Saging Away My Negative Energy

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Judi

“You seem to be very tense,” said my esthetician D this afternoon as she prepared to massage my upper body. “Your neck and shoulders are extremely tight. Are you stressed?” she asked.

“I’ve just arrived back from a business trip where I was attending a three day meeting and have been doing a lot of sitting,” I replied.

D put coconut oil on my face and then covered it with a Vitamin C mask. It felt so good. “Relax and calm down,” said D. She put the heating pad under my back and a bolster under my knees.

“I think I need to do some saging,” said D, “to get all the negative energy away that is swirling around you.”

“Really,” I said. “What is saging? I’ve never experienced saging before.”

D took out a dried white sage leaf, lit it and blew out the tip. She took the burning sage which had a fragrant odor and walked around my body several times to release the negative energy. “This may also help you sleep,” said D.

Dried white sage leaves can be used in saging to ward off negative energy.

I felt renewed and refreshed after I left her office. So glad I had decided to make an appointment for a facial. D always gives me sage advice about my skin and now she is saging me too. She even gave me some sage to take home in a little red bag. Now I can sage my house or myself whenever I feel negative energy.

Last week, I learned from a segment on “The Today Show” that April is National Stress Awareness Month. In addition to saging myself to increase my energy there are other things I can do (and so can you) to de-stress. Here are some tips from the NBC reporter:

Exercise can relieve stress. The reporter said that push-ups are a good exercise to build arm strength. I’ve been trying to do my yoga plank pose each morning to see how long I can stay in position. I’m up to about one to two minutes. My yoga teacher N says that Jennifer Aniston got her strong arms doing this pose.

Crying can relieve stress. I’ve been doing quite a bit of this since losing my mom last month. Sometimes I cry at night when I am missing her. I usually tell myself that it’s okay to cry. It’s part of the grieving process.

Bath salts and baths can relieve stress. Ooh, ooh, ooh – I LOVE TO TAKE baths. I mix epsom salts and lavender oil to make my own bath salts. Then I light some candles (and make sure to blow them out when I am done), lay back and relax. (Maybe I should also burn some sage just in case there is any negative energy in my bathroom?)

Swirl around in your desk chair…that’s if your desk chair swirls. Mine does. Here I go…go…go…oops I’m back!

Eat some oranges or put lemon slices in your water. Supposedly, Vitamin C can help lower cortisol levels which contribute to stress in the body. (According to writer Juniper Russo’s post on LiveStrong.com, “The “stress hormone” cortisol enables many important processes within the human body. However, during times of physical or emotional stress, cortisol levels can elevate to unsafe levels, which may lead to a variety of stress-related complications.)

Jump up and down on a big exercise ball or squeeze a stress ball in your hand. I don’t have a big exercise ball at home…will have to get one and put it in my home office near my desk.

How do you de-stress? Do share a tip or two.

Judi

P.S. – Check out The WHOA! Network!, a new website about women honoring our age from two really talented and smart boomer girls, Lynn Forbes and Darryle Pollack.

A Caregiver Needs Body Care Too

Posted on March 4, 2013 by Judi

Last week in yoga class my Zen card said “body care.” I wondered if it was trying to tell me something. Am I not listening to the signs of stress that are all around me? As a member of the sandwich generation, worrying about my adult kids (I’m a mom I have to worry about my kids even if they are all grown up) and worrying about my elderly mom (who has been ill since the new year), I often forget to give my own body the “body care” it needs.

Not sleeping enough, not eating the right foods, not taking time to slow down and relax. Running, running, running. “Must squeeze all my exercise into the weekend,” I told my body last Saturday. “Think I will do it all – yoga, bicycling, walking, running, lifting weights.” My body did not react well – it fought back with aches and pains.

This week I listened to an online chat with Dr. John Whyte, author of AARP New American Diet: Lose Weight, Live Longer. Dr. Whyte provided some helpful tips on ways busy caregivers can take better care of themselves. Here’s some of Dr. Whyte’s advice:

- Dr. Whyte says that “people who walk more throughout life have greater brain volume than those who walk less.” He says that “there are approximately 2000 steps in one mile and that most active people average about 2000 steps a day.” (I consider myself an active person but I don’t know if I am walking a mile a day. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I think I will take that old pedometer out of my junk drawer tomorrow and see if I am walking 2000 steps.)

- Dr. Whyte says that “our basal metabolic rate (BMR), basically our internal furnace, slows down as we age.” That’s why we can gain weight more easily. He says that to balance our BMR we either need to eat less or exercise more. (I vote for the exercise – but I must stop being a weekend athlete and improve my fitness management.)

- Dr. Whyte says that “foods from the Mediterranean diet are some of the best foods to eat such as: fish for heart health” (yep, I eat fish at least 2-3 times a week); blueberries – Dr. Whyte says that “these berries are packed with powerful antioxidants to keep the blood vessels in our heart and brain healthy” (yep, I eat organic blueberries every day for lunch with my yogurt); ”nuts in moderation” (yep, I sprinkle walnuts on my salad); and “drink more water” (yep, I carry my water bottle to work each day).

- Dr, Whyte says that “it is not surprising that added stress can cause weight gain.” He says that “It is often related to the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that usually can be very helpful. It provides glucose to the body for energy when there is a stressful situation that requires you to have more energy or to be more alert. However, chronic stress will cause cortisol levels to be high chronically and this is not a good thing for your body.”

Dr. Whyte says that “In this situation, the elevated cortisol levels cause high blood sugar which will cause a series of other reactions which will cause you to store fat as well as hold onto it, making it very difficult to shed the pounds.”

My cortisol levels are definitely elevated of late – juggling full-time work events and readying my second career as a writer and blogger post retirement, refinancing my “condo on the corner at the shore,” managing my mom’s health concerns and caregiving from afar – she is in Flo-ree-da and my sister N and I are in NJ and NY…and how can I forget all the paperwork involved with preparing my 2012 taxes for the accountant this month.

I must take heed and listen to my Zen card. If I don’t take my “body care” seriously no one else will…and I want my body to stay healthy during my life after 50.

So,so, so, tonight I am going to enjoy a nutrient rich dinner with my boyfriend L. What’s on the menu? Glad you asked. We’ll start with a nice green salad with a few Greek black olives and sprinkling of walnuts, followed by baked salmon topped with hickory barbecue sauce and accompanied by a beta-carotene rich sweet potato. If we have dessert it will surely be dark chocolate.

Then I am going to relax and listen to the wonderful music of Deva Premal & Miten as their spiritual chants lull me to sleep.

While I am a member of AARP’s Kitchen Cabinet on Caregiving, note that all opinions are my own. I encourage all those who are caregivers to check out the AARP Caregiving Resource Center for more helpful tips. It truly is a wonderful resource, especially for those who are new to caregiving.

Judi

Boomer Girl Beauty Problems

Posted on February 17, 2013 by Judi

My friends at Boombox Network sent along some findings from their recent Beauty Survey that I thought I would share and provide commentary on. Their simple infographic below tells the story about the “beauty problems that bother boomer women most.”

Here’s what the beauty survey found:

And here is my commentary:

Hair color: I agree. I not only color my gray away but add highlights for extra body and fullness. I consider hair one of my most important accessories that I wear every day. It is so worth the extra cost to keep it fluffy during my life after 50. BTW, I’ve started to massage a little bit of Macadamia or Moroccan Oil on my hair and scalp after I wash it and find that the oil keeps my hair and scalp nice and moist during the dry winter months.

Skin texture: I’m lucky that my skin is clear and free of acne (most of the time). My daily skin regimen includes Murad Renewing Cleansing Cream (compliments from last summer’s Boombox blogger party) with my Clarisonic Mia skin cleansing brush (compliments from the nice Clarisonic PR lady who I met last fall at the FOF Beauty Bash) and then I top off with L’Oreal Youth Code Day Night Cream Moisturizer (which I had to purchase myself – but I like the texture), followed by my Bobbi Brown Moisturizing Foundation with SPF in the winter and Skinceuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense SPF 50 during the summer to protect my skin.

Uneven skin tone and aging spots: Uh yeah! Uh yeah! I have lots of aging spots. Wish I could get rid of those aging spots. My esthetician D says to stay out of the sun or be sure to use sunscreen to keep aging spots away. I don’t know if I can do that since I love my condo on the corner at the beach and plan to spend more time there this summer once I am semi-retired. I’ve tried multiple lightening creams but have not found one that really works.

Yellowing teeth: Yes, yes, yes. I drink too much tea that stains my teeth. I did try whitening my teeth a few years ago. Will have to try those new Crest Whitening Strips that I read about – perhaps they will make my teeth whiter.

Facial hair: My 91 year old mom asked my sister N to get her a small facial shaver that she saw in an infomercial the other day while watching TV. “I use one of those small facial shavers to clear my mustache before I bleach since I find that waxing irritates my skin,” I told my mom. “It works great.”

Dark circles: According to Shelley Levitt’s feature on WebMD, “With age, the skin around the eye thins, exposing the tiny blood vessels that lie just below.” To cover up dark circles I use Smashbox Camera Ready Concealer and put it on like the makeup artists suggest — “Lightly pat the concealer on from the inner corner of your eye to just past the outer corner.”

Shelley writes that dermatologist Valerie Goldburt, MD, PhD, of NYU Langone Medical Center suggests these four things to help keep your eyes looking youthful:

1. Don’t smoke, and always apply a sunscreen around the eye area.

2. Apply a moisturizer to the eye area nightly.

3. Add a prescription retinoic acid — the vitamin A cream that goes by the generic name tretinoin – to your daily skin care regimen. “It’s the single best thing you can use to prevent wrinkles and improve existing lines,”

4. To calm puffy eyes, place cold spoons, slices of cucumbers, chilled tea bags, or even a package of frozen peas under your eyes. The cool temperatures reduce swelling.

Forehead wrinkles and lines around lips: I have lots of wrinkles and lines and lines and wrinkles. That’s why when Olga from Arbo Labs contacted me to offer me a sample of their new line of ArboRX natural moisturizers and serums I said “absolutely, send samples my way and I will try them out.” Olga says that “As we age, skin loses it’s natural firmness and elasticity, and new skin cells take longer to regenerate. Mature skin needs more specialized skin care products to address dull and uneven tone, fine lines and wrinkles, and dry complexion.” I just put the new ArboRX serum, moisturizer and emulsion on my face last night. Haven’t seen any wrinkles disappear yet, but it is too early to tell…will let you know in a future beauty post. However, you know, you know, you know…this boomer girl will try anything that promises to get rid of her wrinkles, even if it is only one or two lines.

So what beauty problems bother you during your life after 50? Do you have any beauty products you especially like or beauty secrets to share? Do tell. Do tell.

Judi

P.S. – Thanks to all my readers who left comments on my Valentine’s Day blog post. Congrats to Allison, who is the winner of the Valentine’s Day raffle prize of a box of Godiva Dark Chocolate.

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger. Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a finalist for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’ Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

Dark Chocolate and Love For Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Judi

Next week is Valentine’s Day and there’s no better way to celebrate than to show yourself some love during your life after 50 and enjoy some dark chocolate.

Like a good yogi, I set an intention at the beginning of 2013 and my intention was to love myself more this year. Part of loving myself more is to get more sleep, say “no” to more things instead of trying to “do it all,” and take time to practice my mindfulness meditation. Ah yes…and to enjoy dark chocolate.

Leave a comment and enter to win a box of GODIVA Dark Chocolates. Read below for details.

In this month’s AARP Bulletin, Nissa Simon includes “choosing chocolate” as one of her “10 Tips For Better Health.” Nissa says that “Dark chocolate is rich in plant compounds called flavonoids, natural antioxidants that help the body’s cells resist damage that may contribute to cancer and other maladies. In addition to their antioxidant properties, flavonoids help lower blood pressure, improve blood flow to the brain and heart, raise ‘good’ HDL cholesterol levels and lower ‘bad LDL levels – all of which protect against heart attack and stroke.”

No wonder my boyfriend L eats dark chocolate every day, he is so smart. Maybe that’s why he is a healthy boomer guy! I’ll definitely have to give him a gift of dark chocolate for Valentine’s Day.

Nissa quotes Dr. Richard Stein, professor of medicine at New York University School of Medicine, regarding reaping the benefits. She says Dr. Stein recommends that you “choose dark chocolate that contains at least 70 percent cacao, or cocoa” and “advises to limit yourself to about an ounce a day since dark chocolate does contain calories.”

I visited the GODIVA boutique at Rockefeller Center, NYC, to see their interactive pop-up kissing booth created entirely out of chocolate.

After reading all this wonderful info about dark chocolate, I called up my wonderful friends at GODIVA Chocolatier and they agreed to provide a box of dark chocolates for my Valentine’s Day raffle. So boomer girls…do you want to know how you can win a box of dark chocolates? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

Okay, okay, okay, I’ll tell you. All you have to do is share a comment on this blog post about how you are ‘going to love yourself more in 2013′ (or join Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or follow Twitter@judiboomergirl and leave your comment there). One lucky winner will be chosen at random to win a GODIVA Dark Chocolate Assortment Box (retail value $36). Deadline for comments ends on V-Day February 14th, so leave your comments now. (Note: Boomer guys and Boomlets can enter the raffle too. Okay, okay, okay – all generations can enter. The more the merrier.)

If you want to win other GODIVA chocolates you can enter their “Share the Love” Photo Sweepstakes, which encourages consumers to upload and share photos of themselves with their loved ones on the GODIVA Facebook page and website GODIVA.com, for an opportunity to win and share the grand prize of free GODIVA chocolate with 500 of their beloved Facebook friends. All entrants to the 2013 “Share Your Love” sweepstakes receive 25% off one GODIVA item at GODIVA boutiques or 25% off an $80 purchase at GODIVA.com.

Remember to love yourself during your life after 50 and have a happy and healthy Valentine’s Day!

Judi

Retiring Early: What I Learned In My First Six Months

Posted on January 23, 2013 by Judi

This week, I am pleased to present a guest post from a fellow boomer girl and one of my blog readers. Her name is Moira and she recently retired. Moira’s words of wisdom about the wonderful discoveries and exciting explorations during this special time in her life have helped ease my Type A jitters as I begin to think about my own early retirement. Yes, I will be leaving my corporate career this spring. There are so many new opportunities to experience. I can’t wait. Thank you Moira for sharing your inspiring story:

Moira Donoghue

I am 60 and I am enjoying my seventh fire of the winter – sitting in a comfortable chair, accompanied by a good book, a glass of sherry and a warm and gentle kitten by my side. Why is it significant that this is my seventh fire of the winter? And that I just restocked my firewood supply for the first time in years? For me, enjoying this many long evenings in front of a fire, just half way through the winter, is one of the symbols of what I have learned in my first few months as a retired woman.

I retired in May from a 36-year professional career. It was a career that brought great satisfaction, time with amazing people and interesting travel. But it was a career that also brought a deep weariness and a nagging frustration that my life had narrowed. There was never enough time to read in front of my fireplace or even buy firewood.

Moira enjoys time by the fireplace with her kitten.

Writing this guest post has forced me to clarify my thoughts about retirement. Here’s what I’ve learned in this short time:

Deciding to retire is one decision; how to “be retired” is an entirely different one. Deciding to retire is all about finances, shedding a work persona, and saying goodbye to colleagues. I was unable to get to the decision to retire until I put on hold the decisions about how I would spend my time after retirement. For me, deciding to retire needed its own focus. Realizing I had confused two distinct decisions got me unstuck and I was able to give the decision to retire the full attention it deserved.

I needed a period of transition to understand how to “be retired”. When I started talking about retirement, some friends advised not to retire without knowing exactly how I would spend my time. “Don’t fall off that cliff”, they warned. Others said I wouldn’t know what I wanted to do until I was retired – which turned out to be true for me. I needed time to disconnect. To meet new people. To test out new interests, some lurking for years on the sidelines. To sleep late and take naps. To let my mind wander. To “Google” every thread of interest I could uncover to see where it led. (In fact, that’s how I found Judi’s blog). Such time for exploration isn’t right for everyone but it was right for me. I am now settling into some choices, which feel good because I took the time to explore.

The real joy of retirement is the luxury of time. My sweetest lesson has been that retirement is really about having the time to do exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it. I can’t overstate how important this point is. I am making the choices that give me the great happiness because they truly are my first choices.

I still possess a valuable collection of skills. All this exploration over the last few months has also shown me that the skills I developed over my worklife can be put to valuable use in new and sometimes unexpected ways. To help others. To learn. To have fun. It was real work to separate from my work persona, but I see now that I have not lost any of my skills just because I stopped working. Funny that it took me awhile to understand that.

Negative thoughts happen; they just do. Do I really have enough in savings? Why have I started thinking of myself as “old”? If I am not working, am I still valuable? Why am I calling retirement my “final chapter”? Will I be bored? Apologies for the drama, but these are real fears that creep into my thoughts at the oddest times. For a few months, they were pretty unsettling. I finally just decided they aren’t useful so I trained myself to dismiss them when they creep in. And they do. They are part – a small part – of the big change I am still experiencing.

So with the benefit of several months of self-reflection, I now find myself more comfortable than ever about my decision to retire and how to “be retired.” I am happier here in my first year of retirement than I ever expected to be. When the time is right for you, I wish you all the same joy, and ultimately, clarity.

I hope you enjoyed Moira’s guest post. Let me know if you have a story about your life after 50 that you would like to share with fellow boomer girls. Would you like to write a guest post? Send along a note or leave a comment.

Judi

Staying Healthy During Middle Age

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Judi

After turning 55 last week, I can no longer check off the 45 – 54 box when I’m asked my age. And I’m no longer part of the standard 28 -54 female advertising target. Yep, I’m inching up the ladder of my life after 50. I’m smack in the middle with a growing middle-age middle.

There are some benefits. For example, at 55, my local theater ranks me as a senior so I can get a discount at the movies. My boyfriend L and I usually go to the early bird shows. We cannot stay up for any late shows.

I did watch Jodie Foster celebrate her five decades of film and shout out “I’m 50, I’m 50″ at the Golden Globes this past Sunday. I’m glad she is proud to say she is 50, but I think she is too young to be recognized for a lifetime achievement award. She’s not done yet, even if she claims to be hanging up the towel. Doesn’t she know that the best part of her life is yet to come? (BTW, Jodie did look fabulous in her sleeveless Armani gown. No batwings for her.)

I made a promise to myself this year that I am going to love myself more. If you read my previous post “Plunging Into The New Year,” you know that if you love yourself more, you can love others even more.

So how am I going to take better care of myself in 2013? For starters, I’m going to listen to the tips that Dr. Oz offers up in the January issue of The Oprah Magazine. Dr. Oz says that in my 50s I should “take a few preventive measures to ensure my well-being for another half-century.” I like his tips. In fact, I already practice his advice:

Give It Your Om: Dr. Oz is a huge fan of yoga at any age. (So am moi. So am moi.) He reports that “a 2012 study in the journal Menopause found that it’s particularly beneficial for postmenopausal women coping with insomnia. (Moi. Moi.) If you are not sleeping well, Dr. Oz suggests trying the Child’s Pose and Bridge Pose. (Since I am a practicing yogi, I am going to try these two poses tonight before I go to sleep…or try to go to sleep. Ooh, ooh, ooh, according to an article in The New York Times – A Moment of Zen, on the Go - a study released by Yoga Journal – which moi is a subscriber – “the number of Americans practicing yoga jumped 29 percent to 20.4 million – or 8.7 percent of American adults – since the previous study in 2008, when 15.8 million practiced. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I keep up with the trends. Yes I do.)

Bulk Up On B’s: Dr. Oz says that “the same vitamins that keep your energy up also lower your body’s levels of homocysteine, an amino acid that may be linked to hardening of the arteries. He says to get your daily allowance of B6 (1.5 milligrams), B12 (2.4 micrograms), and folate (400 micrograms) from your diet. Let’s see, I can get B6 from sweet potatoes (yum, yum, yum) and B12 from the low-fat mozzarella cheese that I add to my pizza. Plus, I get folate from spinach and beets. (I especially like roasted beets. They are a very trendy vegetable and look very pretty as a sidedish or in a salad. In fact, even better are sauteed beet greens. Have you ever tried them?) I also eat fortified cereal for breakfast which is full of B vitamins.

Avoid Overdoing The Booze: I’m not a big drinker, but I do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner most evenings. Ooh, Dr. Oz says that while “a drink a day may keep the doctor away by reducing your risk of heart disease and stroke, excessive alcohol consumption increases the risk of developing various cancers.

Get Screened For Colon Cancer: Dr. Oz says “more than 90 percent of all colon cancer cases are diagnosed in people age 50 and over. He says that he “had a precancerous polyp just after his 50th birthday. (I hear you Dr. Oz. With a history of IBS – Irritable Bowl Syndrome – I definitely need to be screened. I’m already on the case with a scheduled appointment for February. Ooh, ooh, ooh, that prep is the worst. Maybe one day the prep will include chocolate ice cream instead of Gatorade and Miralax.)

Dr. Oz provided tips for “Your 60s and Beyond.” However, I have another five years to go before I reach that age. I think I’ll just work on these four areas first.

How are you loving yourself more this year? Do share a tip or two.

Judi

Plunging Into The New Year

Posted on January 6, 2013 by Judi

Happy new year! I haven’t made any resolutions for the new year. Like a good yogi, I made intentions. In 2013, I intend to reinvent myself. Yes, this is the year that I am retiring from my corporate job and reinventing my life after 50.

I did what my yoga teacher N said to do last week. I spent my time in recapitulation. I wrote down all the good things that happened in 2012 including my daughter A’s promotion at her job, my son D’s college graduation – yeah, yeah, yeah — plus D’s new job — double yeah, yeah, yeah — and my blog recognition by The Huffington Post as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Women Post 50” — final yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote down the things that didn’t go so well in the world, such as Hurricane Sandy and the terrible tragedies in Newtown, Ct (tears welled up in my eyes again). Then I ripped up the list, just as N said to do. I cannot change the good things or the bad. 2012 is over.

Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge

On New Year’s Day, my boyfriend L and I attended the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge. When the clock struck noon, we celebrated as those around us took off their costumes and jumped into the icy cold waters. “The ocean is warm,” said the master of ceremonies. “It is 50 degrees. Warmer than it is on the beach.” Unlike those adventurous souls who made a big splash, L and I decided to stay on the dry side and just offer good cheers. “Maybe next year I will be more courageous,” I said. “Maybe next year.”

Yesterday, my yoga teacher P told us that the greatest gift we can give ourselves in 2013 is to love ourselves more. “If you love yourself and take care of yourself, you can love others more,” P said. I decided to take P’s advice and not push any of my asanas too far. In 2013, I am going to listen to my body, my mind, and my spirit, and love myself more. I’m going to add the word “no” to my vocabulary. “It’s not a selfish thing to do,” P said.

How will I change this coming year? What new opportunities will come my way? According to John Tierney’s recent article and video from the New York Times, “You Won’t Stay the Same, Study Finds,” new research reports that “When we remember our past selves, they seem quite different. We know how much our personalities and tastes have changed over the years. But when we look ahead, somehow we expect ourselves to stay the same.”

John writes that in the findings published in the journal Science, “Participants were asked about their personality traits and preferences in years past and present and then asked to make predictions for the future. Not surprisingly, the younger people in the study reported more change in the previous decade than did the older respondents. But when asked to predict what their personalities and tastes would be like in 10 years, people of all ages consistently played down the potential changes ahead.”

This week I will turn 55. As I look back on the past five years, I truly have made some amazing changes in my life. How much will I change during the next five to 10 years? I’m looking forward to growing and evolving even more during my life after 50. I’m ready to take the plunge. How about you? Will you join me? How will you change during your life after 50? Where are you going to start? What are your intentions for the next 359 days — please do share with a comment or two.

Judi

Breaking Bread With Those I Love

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Judi

The nest was full this week with my two adult children, my daughter A and my son D as they arrived from the big city to visit with me in the suburbs. I was so pleased to have them home…to enjoy their company and to “break bread” with those I love.

“What’s on the menu?” asked A. “What are you cooking?”

Sweet Potatoes with Pecans and Goat Cheese from the Smitten Kitchen Blog

“Saturday is chili, Sunday is spinach pie, Monday is BBQ salmon with a new sweet potato side dish from the Smitten Kitchen blog,” I replied. I made sure that my fridge was filled with food and my cupboard adequately stacked with snacks. “There’s a whole half-pound of American cheese just for D,” I said, so pleased that I remembered to stop by the deli counter when I was grocery shopping. D likes to have American cheese on his bagels for breakfast.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Playing “where did all the water glasses go” each day. I knew where to find them – buried in different spots in D’s room.

It felt good to be mom for a week. A and I went shopping to Nordstrom to check out the new styles from the pre-spring catalog. “Do you want to share the ‘girlfriends’ dressing’ room?” asked the saleswoman J. “Ooh, ooh, ooh, there is a girlfriends’ dressing room. Wow-o-wow. Of course A and I want to share the girlfriends’ dressing room,” I said. It was big enough for two – mother and daughter.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Giving lots of hugs and kisses to A and D and sending them to bed each night with a round of “I love you’s,” just like we used to do when they were young. “I love you too,” said A and D before bedtime.

It felt good to be mom for a week. We cuddled on the couch and caught up on some movies we had missed – Brave and Ruby Sparks – two cute flicks. “How can you possibly watch a Pixar movie (Brave) without a Blu-Ray player?” said D. “I cannot believe you don’t have a Blu-Ray player. You know you eventually will not be able to watch DVDs in the future if you don’t get a Blu-Ray player,” said D. “Really?” I said showing my boomer girl technological ignorance.

The Terrain Cafe in Glen Mills, Pa

It felt good to be mom for a week. I took A and D out to lunch at the Terrain cafe, located in my favorite home and garden shop in Glen Mills, Pa. We each picked a different entree – goat cheese omelet for me, braised short rib sandwich for A and portabella mushroom sandwich for D. A also ordered the special snickerdoodle latte which was oh so sweet with a scent of fresh vanilla. And we all adored breaking (and eating) the warm bread that had been baked in a clay flowerpot and sharing the cinnamon apple cobbler dessert from a mini-iron skillet.

“I’m so lucky to have a mom like you,” said A. “You introduced us to the joy of good food, you taught us to love trendy fashions, and you encouraged us to travel and learn about the world.” “I’m so lucky to have two great kids who I can enjoy good food with, who I can shop till I drop with, and who want to travel with me to Paris and Provence” I said. “I cannot think of better partners to celebrate my retirement trip with this summer – c’est merveilleux!”

We left the Terrain cafe and headed home. It was hailing and heavy rain. D drove as I navigated – being a good mom, I reminded D several times to be careful and go slow. There was only one detour left on our trip – a stop at the electronics store to purchase a Blu-Ray player. “I will only buy a Blu-Ray player if you will set it up before you go back to the big city,” I said. “Don’t I always?” D responded.

Yes, it felt good to be mom for a week and break bread with those I love. And now I also have a brand new Blu-Ray player so I can watch Blu-Ray movies. Ooh, ooh, ooh, now I can rent The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel at Redbox. They only had a Blu-Ray copy the last time I was at the store – c’est merveilleux!

Uh oh, uh oh. I forgot to ask D to show me how the Blu-Ray player works.

Judi