A Caregiver Needs Body Care Too

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Last week in yoga class my Zen card said “body care.” I wondered if it was trying to tell me something. Am I not listening to the signs of stress that are all around me? As a member of the sandwich generation, worrying about my adult kids (I’m a mom I have to worry about my kids even if they are all grown up) and worrying about my elderly mom (who has been ill since the new year), I often forget to give my own body the “body care” it needs.

Not sleeping enough, not eating the right foods, not taking time to slow down and relax. Running, running, running. “Must squeeze all my exercise into the weekend,” I told my body last Saturday. “Think I will do it all – yoga, bicycling, walking, running, lifting weights.” My body did not react well – it fought back with aches and pains.

This week I listened to an online chat with Dr. John Whyte, author of AARP New American Diet: Lose Weight, Live Longer. Dr. Whyte provided some helpful tips on ways busy caregivers can take better care of themselves. Here’s some of Dr. Whyte’s advice:

- Dr. Whyte says that “people who walk more throughout life have greater brain volume than those who walk less.” He says that “there are approximately 2000 steps in one mile and that most active people average about 2000 steps a day.” (I consider myself an active person but I don’t know if I am walking a mile a day. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I think I will take that old pedometer out of my junk drawer tomorrow and see if I am walking 2000 steps.)

- Dr. Whyte says that “our basal metabolic rate (BMR), basically our internal furnace, slows down as we age.” That’s why we can gain weight more easily. He says that to balance our BMR we either need to eat less or exercise more. (I vote for the exercise – but I must stop being a weekend athlete and improve my fitness management.)

- Dr. Whyte says that “foods from the Mediterranean diet are some of the best foods to eat such as: fish for heart health” (yep, I eat fish at least 2-3 times a week); blueberries – Dr. Whyte says that “these berries are packed with powerful antioxidants to keep the blood vessels in our heart and brain healthy” (yep, I eat organic blueberries every day for lunch with my yogurt); ”nuts in moderation” (yep, I sprinkle walnuts on my salad); and “drink more water” (yep, I carry my water bottle to work each day).

- Dr, Whyte says that “it is not surprising that added stress can cause weight gain.” He says that “It is often related to the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that usually can be very helpful. It provides glucose to the body for energy when there is a stressful situation that requires you to have more energy or to be more alert. However, chronic stress will cause cortisol levels to be high chronically and this is not a good thing for your body.”

Dr. Whyte says that “In this situation, the elevated cortisol levels cause high blood sugar which will cause a series of other reactions which will cause you to store fat as well as hold onto it, making it very difficult to shed the pounds.”

My cortisol levels are definitely elevated of late – juggling full-time work events and readying my second career as a writer and blogger post retirement, refinancing my “condo on the corner at the shore,”  managing my mom’s health concerns and caregiving from afar – she is in Flo-ree-da and my sister N and I are in NJ and NY…and how can I forget all the paperwork involved with preparing my 2012 taxes for the accountant this month.

I must take heed and listen to my Zen card.  If I don’t take my “body care” seriously no one else will…and I want my body to stay healthy during my life after 50.

So,so, so, tonight I am going to enjoy a nutrient rich dinner with my boyfriend L. What’s on the menu? Glad you asked. We’ll start with a nice green salad with a few Greek black olives and sprinkling of walnuts, followed by baked salmon topped with hickory barbecue sauce and accompanied by a beta-carotene rich sweet potato. If we have dessert it will surely be dark chocolate.

Then I am going to relax and listen to  the wonderful music of Deva Premal & Miten as their spiritual chants lull me to sleep.

AARP Caregiving

While I am a member of AARP’s Kitchen Cabinet on Caregiving, note that all opinions are my own. I encourage all those who are caregivers to check out the AARP Caregiving Resource Center for more helpful tips. It truly is a wonderful resource, especially for those who are new to caregiving.

Judi

Cheers To A Healthy Heart After 50

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I would be remiss if I did not have a “heart to heart” conversation with you this month about keeping your heart healthy. Yes, boomer girls, I’m talking to you. Have you had your cholesterol checked lately? If not, this month is a great time to get your lab work done. February is National Heart Month and there are few more days left in the month.

I had my cholesterol checked since I was having issues with the new statin drug Crestor that my cardiologist had given me awhile ago. I was only taking about 3 pills a week at the time but my muscles began to ache around my knees and hips. I thought it was from exercising, but it turned out that even with a very small dosage my body was not welcoming any form of statin.

“What should I do?” I asked my doctor at the time. “There’s nothing more we can try. Just go off everything for now and let’s retest in a few months,” said my cardiologist Dr. P.

My general practitioner Dr. S reviewed my most recent lab results during my wellness check up:

Cholesterol 241 mg/dL – that’s high according to the American Heart Association (AHA) charts. (Uh oh! Oh no! That’s bad.)

HDL 92 mg – Let’s see, the AHA website says that “high HDL cholesterol 60 mg/dL and above is considered protective against heart disease. (Yeah, that’s good.)

Triglycerides 64 mg/dL – AHA says less than 100 mg/dL is optimal. (Wahoo! I’m really doing good with my triglycerides.)

LDL 136 mg/dL – AHA says 130 to 159 mg/dL is borderline high. (Uh oh! Oh no! That’s bad.)

So I have two good numbers and two bad numbers. What should I do? What should I do?

“Your profile isn’t that bad. And your glucose is 87 mg/dL so you are not diabetic” said Dr. S. “Keep taking your fish oil, watch your diet and keep exercising. We’ll check your cholesterol again in a few months.”

I felt a bit better after my visit to Dr. S. I was glad that I had my labs done and am feeling much better – no more aches since I went off the statin drug. I will visit my cardiologist as well next month for my annual heart health checkup.

In the winter issue of the Cooper Hospital Health Connection, Cooper cardiologists report that the symptoms that can signal a heart attack can be different for women versus men. Symptoms for women include:

- Indigestion, nausea

- Burning in chest

- Pain radiating to back, jaw and shoulders

- Dizziness

- Onset sudden, overwhelming fatigue

I also went and bought a jar of aspirin to have in the house just in case I ever have symptoms of a heart attack and need to chew an aspirin while I dial 911.

The New York Times journalist Annahad O’Connor writes in her article “Really? During a Heart Attack, Dial 911 and Chew an Aspirin?” that “Some people may suspect that chewing an aspirin, which inhibits platelet activity that could block arteries during an attack, makes little difference. But a study in The American Journal of Cardiology highlighted its importance. In a group of 12 subjects tested in a laboratory, chewing an aspirin tablet for 30 seconds before swallowing on an empty stomach prompted a 50 percent reduction in platelet activity in five minutes. It took 12 minutes to achieve the same effect when the aspirin was swallowed whole.”

O’Connor further writes that “Dr. Noel Bairey Merz, director of the Barbra Streisand Women’s Heart Center at the Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles, said people who suspect they are having an attack should chew one full-strength tablet, which is 325 milligrams. But most important, she added, is to “get to an emergency room.” (I hear you Dr. Merz and I will listen if this ever happens to me…and thank you Barbara Streisand for all you do for women’s heart health…oh yes, and you sang a beautiful tribute to Marvin Hamlisch at the Oscars last night, my favorite song “Memories.”)

I hope to keep my baby boomer heart beating healthfully during my life after 50. Better not eat too many pieces of blueberry pie – instead I’ll try to enjoy my blueberries with a little non-fat frozen yogurt .

Cheers to heart health. How are you keeping your cholesterol down? Do please share a tip or two.

Judi

P.S. – Note if you are receiving my posts via email subscription and would like to leave a comment, just click on my name and it will take you to my blog and you can leave a comment.

 

Boomer Girl Beauty Problems

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My friends at Boombox Network sent along some findings from their recent Beauty Survey that I thought I would share and provide commentary on. Their simple infographic below tells the story about the “beauty problems that bother boomer women most.”

Here’s what the beauty survey found:

And here is my commentary:

Hair color: I agree. I not only color my gray away but add highlights for extra body and fullness. I consider hair one of my most important accessories that I wear every day. It is so worth the extra cost to keep it fluffy during my life after 50. BTW, I’ve started to massage a little bit of Macadamia or Moroccan Oil on my hair and scalp after I wash it and find that the oil keeps my hair and scalp nice and moist during the dry winter months.

Skin texture: I’m lucky that my skin is clear and free of acne (most of the time). My daily skin regimen includes Murad Renewing Cleansing Cream (compliments from last summer’s Boombox blogger party) with my Clarisonic Mia skin cleansing brush (compliments from the nice Clarisonic PR lady who I met last fall at the FOF Beauty Bash) and then I top off with L’Oreal Youth Code Day Night Cream Moisturizer (which I had to purchase myself – but I like the texture), followed by my Bobbi Brown Moisturizing Foundation with SPF in the winter and Skinceuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense SPF 50 during the summer to protect my skin.

Uneven skin tone and aging spots: Uh yeah! Uh yeah! I have lots of aging spots. Wish I could get rid of those aging spots. My esthetician D says to stay out of the sun or be sure to use sunscreen to keep aging spots away. I don’t know if I can do that since I love my condo on the corner at the beach and plan to spend more time there this summer once I am semi-retired. I’ve tried multiple lightening creams but have not found one that really works.

Yellowing teeth: Yes, yes, yes. I drink too much tea that stains my teeth. I did try whitening my teeth a few years ago. Will have to try those new Crest Whitening Strips that I read about – perhaps they will make my teeth whiter.

Facial hair: My 91 year old mom asked my sister N to get her a small facial shaver that she saw in an infomercial the other day while watching TV. “I use one of those small facial shavers to clear my mustache before I bleach since I find that waxing irritates my skin,” I told my mom. “It works great.”

Dark circles: According to Shelley Levitt’s feature on WebMD, “With age, the skin around the eye thins, exposing the tiny blood vessels that lie just below.” To cover up dark circles I use Smashbox Camera Ready Concealer and put it on like the makeup artists suggest — “Lightly pat the concealer on from the inner corner of your eye to just past the outer corner.”

Shelley writes that dermatologist Valerie Goldburt, MD, PhD, of NYU Langone Medical Center suggests these four things to help keep your eyes looking youthful:

1. Don’t smoke, and always apply a sunscreen around the eye area.

2. Apply a moisturizer to the eye area nightly.

3. Add a prescription retinoic acid — the vitamin A cream that goes by the generic name tretinoin – to your daily skin care regimen. “It’s the single best thing you can use to prevent wrinkles and improve existing lines,”

4. To calm puffy eyes, place cold spoons, slices of cucumbers, chilled tea bags, or even a package of frozen peas under your eyes. The cool temperatures reduce swelling.

Forehead wrinkles and lines around lips:  I have lots of wrinkles and lines and lines and wrinkles. That’s why when Olga from Arbo Labs contacted me to offer me a sample of their new line of ArboRX natural moisturizers and serums I said “absolutely, send samples my way and I will try them out.” Olga says that “As we age, skin loses it’s natural firmness and elasticity, and new skin cells take longer to regenerate. Mature skin needs more specialized skin care products to address dull and uneven tone, fine lines and wrinkles, and dry complexion.” I just put the new ArboRX serum, moisturizer and emulsion on my face last night. Haven’t seen any wrinkles disappear yet, but it is too early to tell…will let you know in a future beauty post. However, you know, you know, you know…this boomer girl will try anything that promises to get rid of her wrinkles, even if it is only one or two lines.

So what beauty problems bother you during your life after 50? Do you have any beauty products you especially like or beauty secrets to share? Do tell. Do tell.

Judi

P.S. – Thanks to all my readers who left comments on my Valentine’s Day blog post. Congrats to Allison, who is the winner of the Valentine’s Day raffle prize of a box of Godiva Dark Chocolate.

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger.  Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a finalist for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’  Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

Dark Chocolate and Love For Valentine’s Day

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Next week is Valentine’s Day and there’s no better way to celebrate than to show yourself some love during your life after 50 and enjoy some dark chocolate.

Like a good yogi, I set an intention at the beginning of 2013 and my intention was to love myself more this year. Part of loving myself more is to get more sleep, say “no” to more things instead of trying to “do it all,” and take time to practice my mindfulness meditation. Ah yes…and to enjoy dark chocolate.

Leave a comment and enter to win a box of GODIVA Dark Chocolates. Read below for details.

In this month’s AARP Bulletin, Nissa Simon includes “choosing chocolate” as one of her “10 Tips For Better Health.” Nissa says that “Dark chocolate is rich in plant compounds called flavonoids, natural antioxidants that help the body’s cells resist damage that may contribute to cancer and other maladies. In addition to their antioxidant properties, flavonoids help lower blood pressure, improve blood flow to the brain and heart, raise ‘good’ HDL cholesterol levels and lower ‘bad LDL levels – all of which protect against heart attack and stroke.”

No wonder my boyfriend L eats dark chocolate every day, he is so smart. Maybe that’s why he is a healthy boomer guy! I’ll definitely have to give him a gift of dark chocolate for Valentine’s Day.

Nissa quotes Dr. Richard Stein, professor of medicine at New York University School of Medicine, regarding reaping the benefits. She says Dr. Stein recommends  that you “choose dark chocolate that contains at least 70 percent cacao, or cocoa” and “advises to limit yourself to about an ounce a day since dark chocolate does contain calories.”

I visited the GODIVA boutique at Rockefeller Center, NYC, to see their interactive pop-up kissing booth created entirely out of chocolate.

After reading all this wonderful info about dark chocolate, I called up my wonderful friends at GODIVA Chocolatier and they agreed to provide a box of dark chocolates for my Valentine’s Day raffle. So boomer girls…do you want to know how you can win a box of dark chocolates? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

Okay, okay, okay, I’ll tell you. All you have to do is share a comment on this blog post about how you are ‘going to love yourself more in 2013′ (or join Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or follow Twitter@judiboomergirl and leave your comment there). One lucky winner will be chosen at random to win a GODIVA Dark Chocolate Assortment Box (retail value $36). Deadline for comments ends on V-Day February 14th, so leave your comments now. (Note: Boomer guys and Boomlets can enter the raffle too. Okay, okay, okay – all generations can enter. The more the merrier.)

If you want to win other GODIVA chocolates you can enter their “Share the Love” Photo Sweepstakes, which encourages consumers to upload and share photos of themselves with their loved ones on the GODIVA Facebook page and website GODIVA.com, for an opportunity to win and share the grand prize of free GODIVA chocolate with 500 of their beloved Facebook friends. All entrants to the 2013 “Share Your Love” sweepstakes receive 25% off one GODIVA item at GODIVA boutiques or 25% off an $80 purchase at GODIVA.com.

Remember to love yourself during your life after 50 and have a happy and healthy Valentine’s Day!

Judi

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger.  Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a finalist for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’  Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

Hillary Clinton and Me…Retiring? Not Really!

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I loved, loved, loved Gail Collin’s Op-Ed in the New York Times today. “Take A Bow, H.C.” was the title and it was all about Hillary Clinton and her retirement from her role as Secretary of State. Like Gail, I’ve followed Hillary’s career from First Lady, to Senator of New York, to her run for President (I voted for H.C. in the primary and wanted her to win), to Secretary of State these past four years. What a mentor she has been to boomer girls like me.

“Women of Clinton’s generation have a special bond with her because she encapsulates their story. She spoke for their rebel youth at her Wellesley graduation, demanding ‘a more immediate, ecstatic, and penetrating mode of living’ than the older generation ever knew,” says Gail.

While I am 10 years younger than Hillary, I too feel a special bond with H.C, as Gail calls her. After all, like Hillary, I am also retiring from my executive job in 2013. Though I may not have visited as many countries or tracked as many miles, or conducted as many meetings as Hillary, I do feel a sense of accomplishment after raising two wonderful children, being a devoted wife for 24 years, and climbing the corporate ladder for 35+ years almost 30 of those years with my current employer. (Time out, I’ll have to do a recount because if I add up all the meetings I have attended or produced in my career they may equal Hillary’s list. Okay, maybe not, since Gail says Hillary had 1,700 meetings with world leaders the past four years. You win Hillary. You win.)

“So it’s understandable that people are questioning how long the resting part of her future will last,” writes Gail. Is she really retiring at 65? Being a Type A person like Hillary, I know she will not rest for long and nor will I.

“It sounds like you are going to be busier in your retirement than you are now,” said my friends J and D this weekend as we gathered around my kitchen table for a leisurely brunch. I told them all the things I wanted to do in my second act – write a memoir, continue my blogging, study yoga, grow a garden full of flowers, learn how to make gelato, take writing courses, teach blogging classes, start sewing again, try spinning at the gym, volunteer for a non-profit board, read books, read magazines (the same month I get them), go to AARP and BlogHer conferences, learn how to use all the features on my Macbook computer, iPhone and iPad, see my friends and family, do more cooking, spend more time with my boyfriend L, visit my mom in Flo-ree-da. Maybe get some part-time consulting jobs. Travel to France with my adult kids A and D. (Ooh, ooh, ooh, our trip is all booked. I’m so excited. We’re going to Paris to eat croissants, Provence to smell the lavender and Nice for the beach.) If I survive my trip to France and have any money left, maybe I’ll travel to other countries as well.

I’ve been working on my transformation for the past five years since losing my husband M. I’m a different person than I was five years ago. I’m ready for a second act (and maybe even a third in my lifetime) and in a few months a new act will be ready for me.

Hey Hillary, thank you for all you’ve done for our country. Listen, if you want to run for President after you take a little nap, let me know. I’m sure I can find some extra time to help you with your campaign. From one Type A boomer girl to another…you can count on me.

Hillary Clinton and me…retiring? Not really.

Judi

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger.  Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a nominee for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’  Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

P.S. again. Watch next week for my special Valentine’s Day promotion. How are you loving yourself more in 2013? Share your comments and you may win a box of Godiva chocolates. Stay tuned.

Retiring Early: What I Learned In My First Six Months

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This week, I am  pleased to present a guest post from a fellow boomer girl and one of my blog readers. Her name is Moira and she recently retired. Moira’s words of wisdom about the wonderful discoveries and exciting explorations during this special time in her life have helped ease my Type A jitters as I begin to think about my own early retirement. Yes, I will be leaving my corporate career this spring. There are so many new opportunities  to experience. I can’t wait. Thank you Moira for sharing your inspiring story:

Moira Donoghue

I am 60 and I am enjoying my seventh fire of the winter – sitting in a comfortable chair, accompanied by a good book, a glass of sherry and a warm and gentle kitten by my side. Why is it significant that this is my seventh fire of the winter? And that I just restocked my firewood supply for the first time in years? For me, enjoying this many long evenings in front of a fire, just half way through the winter, is one of the symbols of what I have learned in my first few months as a retired woman.

I retired in May from a 36-year professional career. It was a career that brought great satisfaction, time with amazing people and interesting travel. But it was a career that also brought a deep weariness and a nagging frustration that my life had narrowed. There was never enough time to read in front of my fireplace or even buy firewood.

Moira enjoys time by the fireplace with her kitten.

Writing this guest post has forced me to clarify my thoughts about retirement.  Here’s what I’ve learned in this short time:

Deciding to retire is one decision; how to “be retired” is an entirely different one. Deciding to retire is all about finances, shedding a work persona, and saying goodbye to colleagues. I was unable to get to the decision to retire until I put on hold the decisions about how I would spend my time after retirement. For me, deciding to retire needed its own focus.  Realizing I had confused two distinct decisions got me unstuck and I was able to give the decision to retire the full attention it deserved.

I needed a period of transition to understand how to “be retired”. When I started talking about retirement, some friends advised not to retire without knowing exactly how I would spend my time. “Don’t fall off that cliff”, they warned. Others said I wouldn’t know what I wanted to do until I was retired – which turned out to be true for me. I needed time to disconnect. To meet new people. To test out new interests, some lurking for years on the sidelines. To sleep late and take naps. To let my mind wander. To “Google” every thread of interest I could uncover to see where it led. (In fact, that’s how I found Judi’s blog). Such time for exploration isn’t right for everyone but it was right for me. I am now settling into some choices, which feel good because I took the time to explore.

The real joy of retirement is the luxury of time. My sweetest lesson has been that retirement is really about having the time to do exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it. I can’t overstate how important this point is. I am making the choices that give me the great happiness because they truly are my first choices.

I still possess a valuable collection of skills.  All this exploration over the last few months has also shown me that the skills I developed over my worklife can be put to valuable use in new and sometimes unexpected ways. To help others. To learn. To have fun. It was real work to separate from my work persona, but I see now that I have not lost any of my skills just because I stopped working. Funny that it took me awhile to understand that.

Negative thoughts happen; they just do.  Do I really have enough in savings? Why have I started thinking of myself as “old”? If I am not working, am I still valuable? Why am I calling retirement my “final chapter”?  Will I be bored? Apologies for the drama, but these are real fears that creep into my thoughts at the oddest times. For a few months, they were pretty unsettling. I finally just decided they aren’t useful so I trained myself to dismiss them when they creep in. And they do. They are part – a small part – of the big change I am still experiencing.

So with the benefit of several months of self-reflection, I now find myself more comfortable than ever about my decision to retire and how to “be retired.”  I am happier here in my first year of retirement than I ever expected to be.  When the time is right for you, I wish you all the same joy, and ultimately, clarity.

I hope you enjoyed Moira’s guest post. Let me know if you have a story about your life after 50 that you would like to share with fellow boomer girls. Would you like to write a guest post?  Send along a note or leave a comment.

Judi

Staying Healthy During Middle Age

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After turning 55 last week, I can no longer check off the 45 – 54 box when I’m asked my age. And I’m no longer part of the standard 28 -54 female advertising target. Yep,  I’m inching up the ladder of my life after 50. I’m smack in the middle with a growing middle-age middle.

There are some benefits. For example, at 55, my local theater ranks me as a senior so I can get a discount at the movies. My boyfriend L and I usually go to the early bird shows.  We cannot stay up for any late shows.

I did watch Jodie Foster celebrate her five decades of film and shout out “I’m 50, I’m 50″ at the Golden Globes this past Sunday. I’m glad she is proud to say she is 50, but I think she is too young to be recognized for a lifetime achievement award. She’s not done yet, even if she claims to be hanging up the towel. Doesn’t she know that the best part of her life is yet to come? (BTW, Jodie did look fabulous in her sleeveless Armani gown. No batwings for her.)

I made a promise to myself this year that I am going to love myself more. If you read my previous post “Plunging Into The New Year,” you know that if you love yourself more, you can love others even more.

So how am I going to take better care of myself in 2013? For starters, I’m going to listen to the tips that Dr. Oz offers up in the January issue of The Oprah Magazine. Dr. Oz says that in my 50s I should “take a few preventive measures to ensure my well-being for another half-century.”  I like his tips.  In fact, I already practice his advice:

  • Give It Your Om: Dr. Oz is a huge fan of yoga at any age. (So am moi. So am moi.) He reports that “a 2012 study in the journal Menopause found that it’s particularly beneficial for postmenopausal women coping with insomnia. (Moi. Moi.)  If you are not sleeping well, Dr. Oz suggests trying the Child’s Pose and Bridge Pose. (Since I am a practicing yogi, I am going to try these two poses tonight before I go to sleep…or try to go to sleep.  Ooh, ooh, ooh, according to an article in The New York Times – A Moment of Zen, on the Go - a study released by Yoga Journal – which moi is a subscriber – “the number of Americans practicing yoga jumped 29 percent to 20.4 million – or 8.7 percent of American adults – since the previous study in 2008, when 15.8 million practiced. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I keep up with the trends. Yes I do.)
  • Bulk Up On B’s: Dr. Oz says that “the same vitamins that keep your energy up also lower your body’s levels of homocysteine, an amino acid that may be linked to hardening of the arteries. He says to get your daily allowance of B6 (1.5 milligrams), B12 (2.4 micrograms), and folate (400 micrograms) from your diet. Let’s see, I can get B6 from sweet potatoes (yum, yum, yum) and B12 from the low-fat mozzarella cheese that I add to my pizza. Plus, I get folate from spinach and beets. (I especially like roasted beets. They are a very trendy vegetable and look very pretty as a sidedish or in a salad. In fact, even better are sauteed beet greens. Have you ever tried them?) I also eat fortified cereal for breakfast which is full of B vitamins.
  • Avoid Overdoing The Booze: I’m not a big drinker, but I do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner most evenings. Ooh, Dr. Oz says that while “a drink a day may keep the doctor away by reducing your risk of heart disease and stroke, excessive alcohol consumption increases the risk of developing various cancers.
  • Get Screened For Colon Cancer: Dr. Oz says “more than 90 percent of all colon cancer cases are diagnosed in people age 50 and over. He says that he “had a precancerous polyp just after his 50th birthday. (I hear you Dr. Oz. With a history of IBS – Irritable Bowl Syndrome – I definitely need to be screened. I’m already on the case with a scheduled appointment for February. Ooh, ooh, ooh, that prep is the worst. Maybe one day the prep will include chocolate ice cream instead of Gatorade and Miralax.)

Dr. Oz provided tips for “Your 60s and Beyond.” However, I have another five years to go before I reach that age. I think I’ll just work on these four areas first.

How are you loving yourself more this year?  Do share a tip or two.

Judi

Plunging Into The New Year

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Happy new year!  I haven’t made any resolutions for the new year. Like a good yogi, I made intentions. In 2013, I intend to reinvent myself. Yes, this is the year that I am retiring from my corporate job and reinventing my life after 50.

I did what my yoga teacher N said to do last week. I spent my time in recapitulation. I wrote down all the good things that happened in 2012 including my daughter A’s promotion at her job, my son D’s college graduation  – yeah, yeah, yeah — plus D’s new job — double yeah, yeah, yeah — and my blog recognition by The Huffington Post as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Women Post 50” — final yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote down the things that didn’t go so well in the world, such as Hurricane Sandy and the terrible tragedies in Newtown, Ct (tears welled up in my eyes again). Then I ripped up the list, just as N said to do. I cannot change the good things or the bad. 2012 is over.

Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge

On New Year’s Day, my boyfriend L and I attended the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge. When the clock struck noon, we celebrated as those around us took off their costumes and jumped into the icy cold waters. “The ocean is warm,” said the master of ceremonies. “It is 50 degrees. Warmer than it is on the beach.” Unlike those adventurous souls who made a big splash, L and I decided to stay on the dry side and just offer good cheers. “Maybe next year I will be more courageous,” I said. “Maybe next year.”

Yesterday, my yoga teacher P told us that the greatest gift we can give ourselves in 2013 is to love ourselves more. “If you love yourself and take care of yourself, you can love others more,” P said. I decided to take P’s advice and not push any of my asanas too far. In 2013, I am going to listen to my body, my mind, and my spirit, and love myself more. I’m going to add the word “no” to my vocabulary. “It’s not a selfish thing to do,” P said.

How will I change this coming year? What new opportunities will come my way? According to John Tierney’s recent article and video from the New York Times, “You Won’t Stay the Same, Study Finds,” new research reports that “When we remember our past selves, they seem quite different. We know how much our personalities and tastes have changed over the years. But when we look ahead, somehow we expect ourselves to stay the same.”

John writes that in the findings published in the journal Science, “Participants were asked about their personality traits and preferences in years past and present and then asked to make predictions for the future. Not surprisingly, the younger people in the study reported more change in the previous decade than did the older respondents.  But when asked to predict what their personalities and tastes would be like in 10 years, people of all ages consistently played down the potential changes ahead.”

This week I will turn 55. As I look back on the past five years, I truly have made some amazing changes in my life. How much will I change during the next five to 10 years? I’m looking forward to growing and evolving even more during my life after 50. I’m ready to take the plunge. How about you? Will you join me? How will you change during your life after 50? Where are you going to start? What are your intentions for the next 359 days — please do share with a comment or two.

Judi

 

Breaking Bread With Those I Love

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The nest was full this week with my two adult children, my daughter A and my son D as they arrived from the big city to visit with me in the suburbs. I was so pleased to have them home…to enjoy their company and to “break bread” with those I love.

“What’s on the menu?” asked A. “What are you cooking?”

Sweet Potatoes with Pecans and Goat Cheese from the Smitten Kitchen Blog

“Saturday is chili, Sunday is spinach pie, Monday is BBQ salmon with a new sweet potato side dish from the Smitten Kitchen blog,” I replied. I made sure that my fridge was filled with food and my cupboard adequately stacked with snacks. “There’s a whole half-pound of American cheese just for D,” I said, so pleased that I remembered to stop by the deli counter when I was grocery shopping. D likes to have American cheese on his bagels for breakfast.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Playing “where did all the water glasses go” each day. I knew where to find them – buried in different spots in D’s room.

It felt good to be mom for a week. A and I went shopping to Nordstrom to check out the new styles from the pre-spring catalog. “Do you want to share the ‘girlfriends’ dressing’ room?” asked the saleswoman J. “Ooh, ooh, ooh, there is a girlfriends’ dressing room. Wow-o-wow. Of course A and I want to share the girlfriends’ dressing room,” I said. It was big enough for two – mother and daughter.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Giving lots of hugs and kisses to A and D and sending them to bed each night with a round of “I love you’s,” just like we used to do when they were young. “I love you too,” said A and D before bedtime.

It felt good to be mom for a week. We cuddled on the couch and caught up on some movies we had missed – Brave and Ruby Sparks – two cute flicks. “How can you possibly watch a Pixar movie (Brave) without a Blu-Ray player?” said D. “I cannot believe you don’t have a Blu-Ray player. You know you eventually will not be able to watch DVDs in the future if you don’t get a Blu-Ray player,” said D. “Really?” I said showing my boomer girl technological ignorance.

The Terrain Cafe in Glen Mills, Pa

It felt good to be mom for a week. I took A and D out to lunch at the Terrain cafe, located in my favorite home and garden shop in Glen Mills, Pa. We each picked a different entree – goat cheese omelet for me, braised short rib sandwich for A and portabella mushroom  sandwich for D. A also ordered the special snickerdoodle latte which was oh so sweet with a scent of fresh vanilla. And we all adored breaking (and eating) the warm bread that had been baked in a clay flowerpot and sharing the cinnamon apple cobbler dessert from a mini-iron skillet.

“I’m so lucky to have a mom like you,” said A. “You introduced us to the joy of good food, you taught us to love trendy fashions, and you encouraged us to travel and learn about the world.” “I’m so lucky to have two great kids who I can enjoy good food with, who I can shop till I drop with, and who want to travel with me to Paris and Provence” I said. “I cannot think of better partners to celebrate my retirement trip with this summer – c’est merveilleux!”

We left the Terrain cafe and headed home. It was hailing and heavy rain. D drove as I navigated – being a good mom, I reminded D several times to be careful and go slow. There was only one detour left on our trip – a stop at the electronics store to purchase a Blu-Ray player. “I will only buy a Blu-Ray player if you will set it up before you go back to the big city,” I said. “Don’t I always?” D responded.

Yes, it felt good to be mom for a week and break bread with those I love. And now I also have a brand new Blu-Ray player so I can watch Blu-Ray movies. Ooh, ooh, ooh, now I can rent The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel at Redbox. They only had a Blu-Ray copy the last time I was at the store – c’est merveilleux!

Uh oh, uh oh. I forgot to ask D to show me how the Blu-Ray player works.

Judi

Five Years And Counting

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“Your husband is a very sick man,” said the doctor at the long-term acute care facility. “He cannot breathe on his own. Do you want to put him back on life support? He will not live much longer. Does your husband have a living will?”

These words were uttered to me five years ago tonight – December 17, 2007. I remember these words like it was yesterday. I felt a weight on my shoulder, yet I could not let M suffer any longer. I could not let my family suffer either. It was time to say good-bye. (M passed away the next day.)

I drove home that evening in a misty fog, just like the rain outside tonight. It was a Monday evening and as the wipers swished back and forth, Alicia Keys’ hit song “No One” played on the radio and I sang along:

“You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry ’cause
Everything’s gonna be alright

And no one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I’m feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel
For you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain”

“No One,” became the top song on my playlist that day and the days and months that followed as I mourned the loss of my husband M and did my best to comfort our two children, my daughter A and my son D.

Heartfelt Memories: Today I wore the gold heart necklace that my late husband M gave me on our first Valentine's Day together.

It is five years and counting. Today I laid a stone on my late husband’s gravesite as I’ve done each December since his death. This year, it is a special stone. It is a big silver and gray stone that I’ve had since I went to the Miraval Spa during my first year as a widow. It is my special stone that has kept me strong all these years. It is my rock. My big rock that I now no longer need to squeeze when I am fearful.

I am a lot stronger and courageous than I was five years ago. I am a student of yoga and mindfulness. I am grateful for my marriage of 24+ years. I am grateful for the two incredible children that M and I brought into this world and for the fantastic adults they have become — in many ways because of the love and nurturing that their dad provided to them. I am thankful for my terrific family, my many good friends and the love of my new partner L.

Oprah says that “You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots.”

It’s five years and counting. There’s a new Alicia Keys’ song on my playlist. It’s called “Girl On Fire” and I think it fits the way I’m feeling now. Yes, I’m getting stronger every day. I think you’ll like this song too. Sing the chorus with me…

“She’s just a girl, and she’s on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, longer like a highway
She’s living in a world, and it’s on fire
Feeling the catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away

Oh, she got both feet on the ground
And she’s burning it down
Oh, she got her head in the clouds
And she’s not backing down

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She’s walking on fire
This girl is on fire”

See what I mean?  Don’t you feel stronger now?  I do.

Judi

P.S. – As I honor my late husband M, I grieve for all the families in Newtown, Conn., who lost their loved ones and especially their children in the violence that overtook that town last week. My sympathies go out to all and I wish them strength in the coming days, months and years to come.