Some Wonderful Words From My Daughter

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Judi

Since this Sunday is Mother’s Day, I thought I would share a special blog post from a special person in my life — my daughter A. Yes, my daughter A is my guest blogger for this week. She gave a rousing speech at my retirement party last month when I left my corporate communications job after 30 years.

As I think about my successes in life, being a mother ranks higher than any of my other careers, financial accomplishments or life experiences. The gratitude and love I have for my two wonderful children — my daughter A and son D — and the legacy that I (and my late husband M) have created with them are my greatest achievement for sure.

My daughter A’s words moved me to tears along with a few laughs too. I hope you enjoy her remarks. Take it away A…

life after 50, parenting, baby boomer women, over 50

My daughter A gave rousing remarks at my retirement party

“Most of the time when a young girl is asked what she wants to be when she grows up, the answers are usually a ballerina, a princess, an actress or a singer. But as far back as I can remember, I have always said that when I grow up I am going to be just like my mom.

I wanted to live in New York City and be a businesswoman. I also wanted to do all of this, get married, have kids and raise a family all at the same time. So I guess, you could say, that growing up I wanted to be a superhero – but more specifically, superwoman. My mom has many powers, to say the least.

She is the smartest and most knowledgeable person I know. She graduated from high school a year early and was second in her class. She also reads The New York Times every morning – and not just for the current events, but also because it connects her to her roots in New York City, a city that she grew up in and if given the choice, probably would have never left and during her life after 50 may even move back to.

She always seems to know what is going on at any given company, what’s new, what’s hip and what’s innovative. She always likes to instill this knowledge to her children – like that time my brother needed a summer internship and my mom made him email the founders of this chocolate company that she saw in the newspaper. My brother D ended up getting a job with the chocolate company and working there that summer.

For those of you who know me, I have extremely high aspirations of running a company one day – on a monthly basis my mom sends me CFO magazine, which usually includes Post-it notes with the people she thinks I should email and connect with to help me make that goal a reality.

My mom is the strongest and bravest person I know. Not many people lose their spouse and have to start their life over at the age of 50, but she did and she did it with grace, never missing a beat – throwing herself into her writing and her blog and focusing on keeping life as normal as possible for my brother and me.

She is also a risk taker; sometimes when people go through traumatic events in their lives, they take an extravagant vacation or buy a fancy sports car – my mom bought a house. I remember when she told me she bought that beach house at the Jersey Shore. In the beginning, I actually thought she was a little crazy because growing up we never really went to the beach, my dad was not really a beach person. But then I saw how happy and relaxed she was down at the shore, and suddenly the idea didn’t seem as crazy to me anymore. My mom took a risk on that house and in the end that risk turned into a great reward.

My mom is a fashionista. In case you haven’t noticed, my mom accessorizes very well. Very rarely will you find her without her signature item – her scarf. If you saw her closet, you’d see that she has one in every color and every pattern. I tried to count them once but eventually lost track. My mom also loves to shop. If you asked her what her favorite time of year is, I’m pretty sure she’d say July and not because it’s summer, but because it’s the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

My mom and I have a ritual – I usually take off from work and come home, and we do our biggest shopping trip of the year together – sometimes we even invite my brother D. I think we broke a record one year – our shopping trip at Nordstrom lasted eight hours. You may think this is a joke, but I’m not even exaggerating. When mom and I are together – there is no stopping us.

My mom’s love of shopping has definitely been passed on to me. A few summers ago my boyfriend and I had just broken up so to make me feel better my mom took me shopping. On our way out of the mall, we walked by the Louis Vuitton store. We decided to go in. I proceeded to try on bags and was on the verge of buying one when I said “Mom, be honest here – am I crazy?” Her response, the PG version, was “Screw it. You only live once.”

And so I bought that handbag and these are now words that I live by. Anytime I am indecisive about buying anything I think of what my mom said and I say “Screw it. I only live once.” Suffice it to say that I have a lot of clothes and a VERY extensive shoe collection.

My brother and I have learned a lot from our mom in both our professional and personal lives. She has inspired us to be career driven, to always go after what we want no matter how unattainable and that no obstacle is too great to overcome. She has taught us to dress the part, because eventually, if we are going to run companies, we have to look good doing it. And most importantly, she has taught us that life doesn’t always go as planned. We must take chances and risks, embrace new opportunities with enthusiasm, even if we have doubt, and if we believe in ourselves, we can make any dreams of ours become a reality.

Thank you.”

life after 50, Godiva chocolates, baby boomer women, Mother's Day

Enter to win a box of GODIVA chocolates!

What do you think? Didn’t A do a good job? How has your mom inspired your success? Share your thoughts and you’ll be entered into my Mother’s Day raffle where one lucky winner will receive a box of GODIVA chocolates (courtesy of my friends from GODIVA Chocolatier). Leave a comment on this blog post or “like” Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or “follow” judiboomergirl on Twitter and leave your comment there. Deadline for entry is Sunday, May 12, 2013.

GODIVA is celebrating inspirational women by offering a gift that also makes a difference in lives of children in need. GODIVA has partnered with FEED for Mother’s Day to create an exclusive “FEED 10 Tote Bag”, as part of their corporate philanthropy initiative, The Lady GODIVA Program. Each “FEED 10 Tote Bag” will be bundled with either a $30 or $50 box of GODIVA chocolate and provides 10 school meals to children in cocoa-producing regions through United Nations World Food Programme (WFP). Stop by a GODIVA boutique or go to www.godiva.com to get your Mother’s Day chocolates and tote bag.

Celebrate your mom and have a happy Mother’s Day!

Judi

A Daughter Is A Precious Gift

Posted on April 4, 2013 by Judi

It’s the first week of April. That means my daughter’s birthday is coming up and my daughter A is inching up the age bracket. I won’t tell you her exact age (she wouldn’t want me to). I’ll just tell you that she is twenty-something – somewhere between 25 and 30 years old.

It’s been more than a quarter of a century since A came into my life. I was just about the age she is turning this week when I became pregnant for the first time. I was so excited when she popped out of my belly. “It’s a girl,” said the obstetrician. “You have a daughter.” I was scared too. I became a mom and at times I felt like a child myself. How was I going to take care of a baby girl? (Separately, why don’t babies come with a set of instructions on how to be cared for? Huh? Wish someone would figure out how to do this by now and tweet it out to the world! It would make parenting a whole lot easier.) Would I be able to pass on the family values that my mom (and dad) had passed on to me? Would A and I have the same close bond that my mom and I had from childhood through adulthood?

Looking at the woman A has become, I think I did a pretty good job. (Okay, okay, I must give a huge amount of credit to her dad too. My late husband M was a great dad. He would be so proud of his daughter.) She is a fashionista like me and like her late grandmother P . She is smart and has traveled the world, much more so than I did at her age. She lives in the big city, NYC, just like I did when I was twenty-something. She is on the path to a successful career. I know she will be a CFO one day. Yes she will. She will pursue her aspirations and dreams.

And hopefully one day, yes hopefully one day, she will give birth to a daughter just like I gave birth to her. (Of course, she has time to have a daughter – I am much too young to be a grandma or nana or mom mom yet. Much too young.)

I didn’t know what to get A for her birthday. I’m taking her and her brother D to France next month to celebrate my retirement from my 30+ years of corporate life. That’s her (and D’s) BIG birthday gift this year. However, being the mom that I am, I wanted to get something small, something tiny but special, to celebrate A’s birthday this week.

This book by Marci of Children Of The Inner Light struck a special cord with me as I celebrate my daughter's birthday this week.

As I walked into Whole Foods tonight, I found the perfect gift. It is a book. A book by an author who I never read before. The author is named Marci and the book is called “To My Daughter – Love and Encouragement to Carry With You On Your Journey Through Life.” Marci looks to be a boomer girl like me and her company is called Children of The Inner Light.

I stood at the table at the back of the store and read the entire book before I bought it. Just like the book jacket says, “This book has all the right amount of magic and emotion to let your daughter know the unconditional love you feel for her. It is everything you’ve ever wanted to say to your daughter in a way that will touch her heart as much as she has touched yours.” Marci’s words are so eloquent and her stick figures that accompany the words so cute.

Each paragraph was better than the next. My favorite paragraph was titled “I Just Have One Question…Where Did The Time Go?” It is exactly how I am feeling about my daughter A as she approaches her next birthday and as I look back on her life during my life after 50. Here’s Marci’s answer:

“Wasn’t it just yesterday that you were a baby in my arms? I looked at your precious face and wondered where life would take you. Today, I look at the person you’ve become…strong, kind, thoughtful, caring, and optimistic, and I realize that the dreams I held in my heart for you are alive in your beautiful spirit.”

Happy Birthday A! Happy Birthday To You! I hope you read this book cover to cover just like I did tonight. A daughter is truly a precious gift. Cherish all the words, one page is better than the next.

Judi

P.S. – Congrats to Nancy McMahon on winning the March raffle prize of the “Reader’s Digest The Digest Diet.” The book is coming your way soon. I’ll be reaching out to you via email. Thanks for your comment on the blog post: Staying Fit and Fabulous After 50.

P.S.S. – Be sure to read the press on JudiBoomergirl’s blog featured this week in Harvard Business Review at HBR Blog. Read all the great news about the power of boomer girls. We are a strong and vibrant group of women.

Breaking Bread With Those I Love

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Judi

The nest was full this week with my two adult children, my daughter A and my son D as they arrived from the big city to visit with me in the suburbs. I was so pleased to have them home…to enjoy their company and to “break bread” with those I love.

“What’s on the menu?” asked A. “What are you cooking?”

Sweet Potatoes with Pecans and Goat Cheese from the Smitten Kitchen Blog

“Saturday is chili, Sunday is spinach pie, Monday is BBQ salmon with a new sweet potato side dish from the Smitten Kitchen blog,” I replied. I made sure that my fridge was filled with food and my cupboard adequately stacked with snacks. “There’s a whole half-pound of American cheese just for D,” I said, so pleased that I remembered to stop by the deli counter when I was grocery shopping. D likes to have American cheese on his bagels for breakfast.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Playing “where did all the water glasses go” each day. I knew where to find them – buried in different spots in D’s room.

It felt good to be mom for a week. A and I went shopping to Nordstrom to check out the new styles from the pre-spring catalog. “Do you want to share the ‘girlfriends’ dressing’ room?” asked the saleswoman J. “Ooh, ooh, ooh, there is a girlfriends’ dressing room. Wow-o-wow. Of course A and I want to share the girlfriends’ dressing room,” I said. It was big enough for two – mother and daughter.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Giving lots of hugs and kisses to A and D and sending them to bed each night with a round of “I love you’s,” just like we used to do when they were young. “I love you too,” said A and D before bedtime.

It felt good to be mom for a week. We cuddled on the couch and caught up on some movies we had missed – Brave and Ruby Sparks – two cute flicks. “How can you possibly watch a Pixar movie (Brave) without a Blu-Ray player?” said D. “I cannot believe you don’t have a Blu-Ray player. You know you eventually will not be able to watch DVDs in the future if you don’t get a Blu-Ray player,” said D. “Really?” I said showing my boomer girl technological ignorance.

The Terrain Cafe in Glen Mills, Pa

It felt good to be mom for a week. I took A and D out to lunch at the Terrain cafe, located in my favorite home and garden shop in Glen Mills, Pa. We each picked a different entree – goat cheese omelet for me, braised short rib sandwich for A and portabella mushroom sandwich for D. A also ordered the special snickerdoodle latte which was oh so sweet with a scent of fresh vanilla. And we all adored breaking (and eating) the warm bread that had been baked in a clay flowerpot and sharing the cinnamon apple cobbler dessert from a mini-iron skillet.

“I’m so lucky to have a mom like you,” said A. “You introduced us to the joy of good food, you taught us to love trendy fashions, and you encouraged us to travel and learn about the world.” “I’m so lucky to have two great kids who I can enjoy good food with, who I can shop till I drop with, and who want to travel with me to Paris and Provence” I said. “I cannot think of better partners to celebrate my retirement trip with this summer – c’est merveilleux!”

We left the Terrain cafe and headed home. It was hailing and heavy rain. D drove as I navigated – being a good mom, I reminded D several times to be careful and go slow. There was only one detour left on our trip – a stop at the electronics store to purchase a Blu-Ray player. “I will only buy a Blu-Ray player if you will set it up before you go back to the big city,” I said. “Don’t I always?” D responded.

Yes, it felt good to be mom for a week and break bread with those I love. And now I also have a brand new Blu-Ray player so I can watch Blu-Ray movies. Ooh, ooh, ooh, now I can rent The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel at Redbox. They only had a Blu-Ray copy the last time I was at the store – c’est merveilleux!

Uh oh, uh oh. I forgot to ask D to show me how the Blu-Ray player works.

Judi

My Big Boy Moves To The Big City

Posted on June 18, 2012 by Judi

Today is Father’s Day and tomorrow would have been my late husband M’s 61st birthday. I’m missing M. So much has changed since he passed away almost five years ago, especially our son D, who graduated from college last month, who got a job in NYC and who moved into Manhattan yesterday.

“We missed the exit to the Lincoln Tunnel,” said D as we drove around Jersey City. “My bed is scheduled for delivery between noon and 4:00 p.m,” he added as we turned the car around and headed back to the NJ Turnpike to find the Lincoln Tunnel. It took us over two and a half hours to get to Manhattan, but I was zen and just kept breathing.

I had been running around the day before to get everything on D’s list for his new bachelor pad that he will be sharing with two other bachelors – mattress cover to protect his mattress from bed bugs, mattress pad to make his bed more comfortable, bed skirt to cover his new box spring, sheets for his new full size bed, towels for the bathroom, pots and pans for the kitchen, and an air conditioner for the bedroom (since there is no central air in his apartment).

“He is leaving me with an empty nest again, this time for the real world. He is leaving me with an empty nest, this time for a teeny tiny bedroom in a walk-up tenement in NYC. He is leaving me, just as I left my parents more than 30 years ago, when I moved to the big city to start my career.

“We’ll never find a parking space,” said D as we arrived on his street on the east side of Manhattan. “There is a police station on my block so there is no place to double park.” Surprise, surprise, surprise – there it was, right opposite the police station, an open spot. (“I know your dad is looking out for us,” I muttered as I thought of my late husband M. After I met M in the early ’80s, we lived almost exactly one block away from where D is now about to live.)

D emptied out the car. Carrying boxes and clothes up the three flights of stairs. His sister A came along for support. She too moved to NYC almost four years ago. It felt like just yesterday that D and I were moving A into her apartment.

“I’m here to help,” said A as she dropped her purse in the car and pulled out a few items to carry. “What number is D’s apartment?” “Eleven,” I said and off she went.

“Where is A?” asked D when he came back to the car for more stuff. “I don’t know, I thought she took things up to your place,” I replied somewhat perplexed. D tried to call A, until we both realized that her smartphone was in her handbag which was in the car. She had left about five minutes ago, so I wondered where she was.

“WTF,” yelled A as she stomped out of another building. “I thought you said it was apartment 11. I was ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door wondering why no one was answering. “Ooh, ooh, ooh, close call, glad no one was home. That was the wrong building, how did you even get through the front door?” I said. “A girl let me in,” said A.

I sat in the car under the bright sunshine as D and A emptied the car until only one pair of dress shoes was left for the taking. “I want to see your apartment before I take off,” I said. I walked up the three flights. There was the small kitchen (which D said can fit a table for two or three). There was the small bathroom (it was long and narrow and the medicine cabinet almost came off the wall when I opened it). There were the three teeny tiny bedrooms (D took the mid-sized bedroom, although I couldn’t really tell the difference between the three bedrooms – but I didn’t say that.) There was the tiny living room (which will eventually fit two futons and a coffee table). “Yes, this will be a fine new home,” I said to D.<

I walked back down the three flights of stairs being careful not to trip on the one step that was uneven. I got back into my car that was parked illegally in front of the police station. I drove back across 34th Street from the east side to the west to enter the Lincoln Tunnel (my heart was beating fast and thank you M, I know you were looking out for me – I didn’t hit anyone while driving across town).

I made it through the Tunnel and I drove back to New Jersey with an empty car. I wanted to scream and yell at the landlord and realtor who charged, as M would have said, “an arm and a leg” for this apartment. I wanted to scream and yell that this apartment “could fit inside my master bedroom, yes the entire apartment could likely fit inside my master bedroom. Okay, maybe inside my master bedroom and my loft area.”

Instead, I called D and I said, “Hi sweetie. I love your new apartment. It reminds me of my first apartment in NYC. I had some of the best years of my life back then and so did your dad. I know you are going to have great times in your new apartment.”

“Empire State of Mind” came on my iPod when I was exercising at the gym this afternoon. I couldn’t resist singing along in dedication to D’s new digs:

One hand in the air for the big city

Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty

No place in the world that can compare

Put your lighters in the air

Everybody say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Come on, Come on)

In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made, oh

There’s nothing you can’t do, now you’re in New York

Big lights will inspire you, let’s hear it for New York

New York, New York

M and I loved New York when we were young. I still love New York. I do. I do. I’m so glad my daughter A and my son D love it too.

Judi

Cheers To The Graduate

Posted on May 18, 2012 by Judi

Yesterday will go down as one of the best days of my life. My son D, my baby boy who I gave birth to 22 years ago this week, graduated from college. Yes, he did. He did it and he did it well. While some on either side of me dozed off during the ceremonies at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall, I kept my eyes wide open. I loved the pomp and circumstance from beginning to end. I listened to every word that each speaker had to say.

“Will my son D heed these words of wisdom as he begins his finance career next week in the big city?” I thought as I reflected on my own personal journey the past 30+ years. Have I practiced, and do I continue to practice, what these wise speakers preach?

“Follow your passion,” said Danny Meyer, CEO of Union Square Hospitality Group, which includes some of the country’s most highly acclaimed and popular restaurants including Union Square Cafe, Blue Smoke, Shake Shack, Maialino and more. He spoke after being honored with a Doctor of Humane Letters. (Since my son D spent most of his food dollars at Shake Shack during his last two years at Pace University, I felt a special affinity for Danny. D promises to take me out for a Shake Shack burger when he earns his first paycheck. Can’t wait.)

“Use your time well,” added Danny. “Everyone gets time equally. It doesn’t matter how much money you make.” (Ooh, I always wish I had more time. That’s likely why I spend so little time sleeping. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do all that I want to do. I need not forget menopausal moments and hot flashes that are equal contributors to my sleepless nights as well.)

Danny talked about “HQ” also known as the hospitality quotient, about how you make people feel during a transaction…about any transaction, not just at a restaurant meal. (I so agree with Danny. Emotional skills are very important in life and I have definitely tried to make every colleague, client, friend, family member and partner feel good during my work and non-work transactions.)

Danny used words like “kind, curiosity, work ethic, empathy, self-awareness, integrity” as he shared his secrets of success. (Love these words, don’t you? I am definitely becoming more self aware during my life after 50 and intend to keep learning something new each day.)

Danny closed by urging the graduates to “be humble.” “Life is a series of waves to be embraced and overcome,” he said. (Ah yes, those waves keep coming, even after more than three decades in the work world. Sometimes the waves are small and I glide easily to shore, while other times they are huge and I end up crashing or doing a belly flop just to stay afloat.)

Pace President Friedman shared his four “C’s” for a winning career during his address. “Compete, contribute, create and have courage to take risks and do new things,” he said. “Think of your life as an oak tree. Walk out on each branch. If you just stay in the center of the trunk you’ll miss some great opportunities.” (I do hope my son D takes more risks than I did. I know he will. He has already shown me how fearless he can be. I am so proud of him, so proud of his accomplishments, especially during these past four years.)

I hope D pursues his passions like Danny said. I hope he walks out on the tallest and narrowest oak tree branches and tries lots of new experiences like President Friedman said. I hope he learns from his worst failures and takes pride in each and every triumph.

Go out there D and conquer the world. Yes, you will likely fall down sometimes, it will hurt and I may not always be there to help pick you up. You’ll need to do that yourself and then climb the next branch on your own. No I won’t be there to catch you…because I, yes I, your mama J, will be climbing a taller oak tree branch right beside you. It’s time for me to take some new risks in my life.

Here I go-go-go watch out below-low-low!

Judi

P.S. – Stay tuned for my upcoming blog post about our graduation luncheon at ABC Kitchen. The meal was so yummy. I’ll be taking you inside for a peek at this trendy, James Beard Award-winning restaurant with pictures of all the fabulous foods we ate, especially the sundae we had for dessert with homemade caramel ice cream, candied peanuts and popcorn, whipped cream and warm chocolate sauce. I think I will now have to definitely go back on my cholesterol medication for sure.

Mothering My Wonderful 90 Year Old Mom

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Judi

My sister N and I spent this past weekend in Flo-ree-da visiting my mom. It was a joyous time. We ate well, we slept late each morning, we read the Sunday New York Times by the pool and soaked in plenty of rays during four glorious days of brilliant sunshine. (Yes, we put suntan lotion on, don’t worry we didn’t want our 50+ year old arms and legs to get too sunburned.)

It was so wonderful. I felt like singing “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars. Come on, sing a verse with me and you’ll see how it felt…

“Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don’t feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
Cus today I swear I’m not doing anything
Nothing at all
Ooh hoo, ooh hoo
Hoo ooh ooh
Nothing at all”

While it felt great to “slow down” and take a break from our hectic lives, my sister N and I agreed that we take a lot of the physical things we can do for granted. Things like walking, taking a shower, getting in and out of a car, balancing on two feet or even one (as I do in yoga class).

Mom can’t move too quickly since she walks with a walker. It takes time for her to get in and out of a car and put on a seat belt. “Stand up straight,” I reminded her constantly. “Don’t push the walker too far out from under you. Take your time.”

Mom eats more slowly too. I bet she enjoys her food more than my sister N and me, as we are constantly rushing to the next job or task at hand. Mom is a mindful eater – that’s a good thing. “Are you sure you want to order the crab and seafood cannelloni?” I asked her at dinner on Saturday night. “Don’t you think that entree is too rich. I don’t want you to get a stomachache tonight.” She ordered it anyway and enjoyed a chocolate dessert afterwards too.

I brought my mom some new clothes – two cute tees and two pairs of pull up capris. I bought the kind of clothes that don’t have any buttons or zippers or ties that need tying. It’s hard for my mom to button a button with her arthritic hands. “Be sure to try on the new clothes and see if they fit,” I said to mom. “And wear the clothes, don’t just hang them in the closet and look at them.”

“Am I mothering my 90 year old mom too much?” I thought during certain moments. Maybe so, but whenever I tried the role reversal trick she shot back, “let me do it myself” and I tried to abide.

Ugh, it’s not easy being a caregiver to an aging parent. However, this weekend we were three wild and crazy girls out milling around and doing a whole lot of chilling (as my son often says when I ask him what he is doing). No worries, no deadlines, just having fun.

“What book is that you are reading?”asked mom.

“Fifty Shades of Grey,” I replied. “And N is reading Fifty Shades Darker.”

“Never heard of those books, are they any good?” said mom.

“Ooh, they are really good,” I replied. “But, mom, I think you are too young for these books.”

Happy Mother’s Day mom. I love you mom. So sorry, no fifty shades or fifty shades darker for you. No, no, no, not while I’m doing the mothering. The only shades you’re getting are the new sunglasses I bought you at Walgreen’s this weekend. Oh yeah and please make sure you put them on when you go out in the sun, okay.

Judi

A Proud Mama Boasts About Her Boy

Posted on April 14, 2012 by Judi

I opened the letter that arrived this week from my son D’s university. He will graduate in about a month from today.

“Congratulations,” read the letter, “I am pleased to advise you that you will be recognized for your academic accomplishments at an awards dinner. You are graduating with Latin Honors: Cum Laude. You will receive a Latin Honors medallion, which can be worn at Commencement.”

Tears of joy welled in my eyes. I smiled and jumped up and down. I sent a text to D to tell him how proud his mama is and how proud his dad would have been if he were here. (I know he is looking down on D from up above and quietly beaming.)

Just the other day, I had found D’s birth certificate as I was filing away some papers. I was reminded of how quickly he came into the world almost 22 years ago He was born at 12:33 a.m. and I went into labor late the evening before. He was my second child and when his older sister was born, I had to be induced because my water had just trickled out. When I went into labor with D, I had a flood all over the car. We weren’t sure whether we were going to make it to the hospital in time.

“The head is crowning,” I remember Dr. M saying that night. “The baby is almost here. Just one more push.” Out popped D.

“It’s a boy,” said Dr. M. My husband was smiling from ear to ear. He was so happy to have a son. I on the other hand was concerned. I never thought I would have a boy. How was I going to raise a son? I hadn’t grown up with any brothers, only one sister. My father was not a sports enthusiast. I knew about Girl Scouts and Barbies. I knew about party dresses and bows in the hair, not bowties or even how to knot a tie.

Yes, it was a surprise to hold my baby boy D in my arms more than two decades ago. Unlike parents today who want to know the sex of their baby ahead of time (sometimes even through a blue or pink cupcake filling) and post the news all over their Facebook pages in advance of the birth, I never wanted to know the sex of either of my babies ahead of time. To me it was worth the wait.

However, since there was no Facebook or Twitter or YouTube back in 1990, it is fitting that I take an opportunity to boast in a blog post about my boy D who is all grown up now. When I look back on my life of the past 22 years, he is one of my proudest achievements. (Note: Should his sister be reading this post, she and all readers should know that my daughter A is also one of my proudest achievements.)

“I don’t know if I want to go to the Awards Ceremony,” said D when I spoke to him the other night.

“What do you mean you don’t want to go?” I asked politely. “Your mother wants to go.”

“We’ll see,” said D.

“Okay, it’s up to you,” I said. (What I really wanted to say was that if he didn’t want to go, I would go to the dinner for him and get the Latin Honors medallion and maybe I would wear it for him if he really didn’t want to wear it.)

I am such a proud mama.

Go D! Go D! Go D!

Judi

Go Giants!

Posted on February 6, 2012 by Judi

“See you on the other side,” was the text I received from my son D at 6:00 p.m.

“K,” was the text I sent back to him shortly before the game started.

I knew the Giants were going to win Super Bowl XLVI. Bruce Weber spoke about the sprinkling of fairy dust that had settled over the team this year in his article on Friday in the New York Times. He was right. But I knew that this was going to be a winning year, because the Giants and the Super Bowl have been in my family’s history for so many defining moments:

* The winning season was 1986 and my daughter A was born. I went and bought a Giants jersey for A to wear to the Super Bowl that January.

* The winning season was 1990 and my son D was born. He wore the Giants jersey that A had worn four years prior.

* The winning season was 2007 and the Giants played again in the Super Bowl in January 2008. This time they won as a memorial for my husband M, one of their biggest fans, who passed away shortly before the season ended. Two thousand eight was also the year that my daughter A graduated from college and my son D graduated from high school.

Now as my son edges closer to his May 2012 graduation date, the Giants have brought our family another Super Bowl championship. Four for four.

“I’ll see you on Tuesday,” was the text message I sent to A and D shortly after the Giants won.

“Ha ha, you’re crazy, but I love ya,” was the text my son D sent back.

I think it is about time I framed that 18 month size Giants jersey and put it above my mantle where it belongs. Yes, that’s what I am going to do…that is after I get back from the ticker tape parade on Tuesday.

Go Giants!

Judi

Life’s A Great Balancing Act

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Judi

I wanted to take his fears away. I wanted to tell my son D that everything was going to be okay. He was anxious about going back to school for his last semester of college.

“What will life be like after college?” he said, “I don’t know what I want to do. I’m not sure what I want to be.”

I told him that I too was scared of the change from student to working girl more than three decades ago when I graduated from college. I remember going cross country during the summer after my senior year. I was a chaperone for a teen tour. It was an incredible experience. I didn’t look forward to returning home, nor to the full-time job search. I took the first job I found and became a secretary at a small ad agency. That job lasted a few months and then I went to work as an editor in publishing. Two years later I went to work for a food manufacturer and then another food manufacturer and there I stayed, working my way up the career ladder. I never became the famous fashion designer I always dreamed I’d be, but I’ve had a successful career. (Maybe I will be a famous writer and author during my life after 50. Many famous people have become famous during their third act.)

I wanted to take his fears away. I tried to share some of my 35+ years of wisdom with my son D. I stayed up until 1:00 a.m. talking. I don’t know that he was ready or willing to listen. He was too anxious.

“Your years after college will be some of the best years of your life,” I said. “I loved my twenties. No more homework. No more tests. No more school books. No spouse or kids. No lawns to mow or house to clean. No mortgage to pay.”

I wanted to take his fears away. But, I could not do it.

As D approaches adulthood, it’s time for me to take a step back and for him to take the lead. (Go D! Go D! Go D!) ”You know I will always be your biggest supporter and I will always love you,” I said to D. ”And, I will continue to feel your pain.” (Okay, I didn’t say the second sentence out loud, but as a Jewish mother, rest assured that I will always feel my son’s pain even if I cannot take it away.)

I put D on the bus back to school on Wednesday morning. Off he went to the big city. Then I took myself to Starbucks, ordered a Skinny Vanilla Decaf Latte and a slice of Reduced Fat Blueberry Coffeecake, and breathed a sigh of relief. Ahh. Omm. Ahh. Omm.

I know my son D is going to do great things in his life after college. (Go D! Go D! Go D!) He will face many of life’s ups and downs. I hope he listens to Dr. Seuss. who says it best in his book, “Oh, the Places You Will Go!”…

“On and on you will hike.
And I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.”

“You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.”

“You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.”

Go D! Go D! Go D!

Judi

Flo-ree-da, Mom’s 90th B-Day and a Hot Red Sports Car

Posted on October 19, 2011 by Judi

Last week I was off to Flo-ree-da for my mom’s 90th birthday. It was a BIG occasion. After all, it’s not every year that my wonderful mom turns the BIG 9-0. My sister N and nephew N and my daughter A and son D all joined in to honor mom’s birthday with a BIG celebration.

My daughter A and I took a little detour before heading to mom’s assisted living residence to spend two glorious days in South Beach at the Dream Hotel. It was truly dreamy. They even had Dream Water in the room to help guests have a restful sleep. I didn’t try any relaxation water therapy, but I wrote down the website if I ever want to order any water for home use – might be good for some nights when I have menopausal insomnia.

After our mother/daughter Miami trip, A and I took a cab back to the Fort Lauderdale airport to pick up a car and pick up my son D before driving north to mom’s birthday party.

“I ordered a compact Ford Focus,” I said to the rental agent at the Budget Rental Car counter. ”Sorry, no compact cars left. But we are going to upgrade you to an SUV,” said the agent.

“What do you mean? I don’t want an SUV,” I said rather loudly. I’m here for my mom’s 90th birthday and she cannot climb into an SUV. You gave my sister an SUV and now she cannot take my mother out for a ride. I need a car,” I said.

“Well, I’ll give you an upgrade to our best car. It’s a Lincoln Towncar,” said the agent. It is a car with four doors. “Okay, I’ll take it, I’ll take it,” I replied.

“What are you doing?” said my son D as we walked to the car. ”That car is a boat. We cannot drive a Lincoln Towncar,” said D. ”Grandma will think we are going to a funeral not her 90th birthday party. The car is big and black.”

I walked back to the Budget counter and demanded a different car. “I cannot drive around in a big black car for my mother’s 90th birthday weekend,” I told the agent.

“Well, I’ll upgrade you to a Cadillac Escalade,” said the agent. “No, no, no,” I replied. ”I told you, no SUV. I need a car. Do you have any cars left in the shop?”

“Well, the only cars I have left are sports cars, either a Camaro or a Dodge Challenger…and you’ll have to pay extra,” said the agent.

By this time I was quite annoyed. Plus, we had to get going if we were going to make it in time for the party at 3:00 p.m. ”Okay, give me the Dodge Challenger,” I said. ”Way to go mom,” said my son D. We loaded up our luggage, revved up the engine and off to the races we went, I mean off to the birthday party we went, in a two door, hot red sports car.

We arrived at mom’s place just in time for the party. E, the events planner at my mom’s residence, was a pro when it came to celebrations. ”Do you want to have a really, really great 90th birthday for your mom?” she had said when I spoke to her a few weeks prior. ”Of course I want to have a really, really great 90th birthday for my mom. Why wouldn’t I want it to be a really, really great birthday?”

“Then I suggest we have some entertainment. Do you want a singer or a comedian?” E had asked. I chose the singer and my sister N agreed.

At 3:00 p.m. sharp there was a sitting room only crowd waiting in the living room. (All walkers were folded to allow for maximum accommodations.) Singer Jeanne arrived and belted out a bevy of show tunes and love songs to honor my mom’s nine decades. She ended her serenade with a Peggy Lee favorite, “I’m A Woman,” and the crowd sang along. Oh, it was so good, I feel like singing it again. Come on and have some fun and sing along with me:

I can wash out 44 pairs of socks and have ‘em hangin out on the line
I can starch & iron 2 dozens shirts ‘fore you can count from 1 to 9
I can scoop up a great big dipper full of lard from the drippins can
Throw it in the skillet, go out & do my shopping, be back before it melts in the pan
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again

I can rub & scrub this old house til it’s shinin like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car, & powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing til 4 a.m. and then
Lay down at 5, jump up at 6, and start all over again
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again

If you come to me sickly you know I’m gonna make you well
If you come to me all hexed up you know I’m gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry you know I’m gonna fill you full of grits
If it’s lovin you’re likin, I’ll kiss you and give you the shiverin’ fits
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again

I can stretch! a green black dollar bill from here to kindom come!
I can play the numbers pay the bills and still end up with some!
I got a twenty-dollar gold piece says there ain’t nothing I can’t do
I can make a dress out of a feed bag and I can make a man out of you
‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I’ll say it again ‘Cause I’m a woman! W-O-M-A-N, and that’s all.

Wow, that was fabulous. Don’t you feel empowered? Oh, you want to know about the rest of the party?

Well, chef E at my mom’s assisted living residence made a delicious fruity birthday cake with pineapple filling and whipped cream frosting. Almost everyone had a slice, except for those who were diabetic, they had to have special cookies. Then my mom blew out her birthday candle and made a birthday wish.

We spent the rest of the weekend driving around in the hot red Dodge Challenger sports car. ”It was great,” said my mom at the end of the day on Friday and at the end of the weekend too. It truly was a best-ever birthday.

I especially love the quote in my mom’s 90th birthday card. It is by poet Emily Dickinson and says “We turn not older with years, but new every day.” That’s how I feel about my mom. She may be 90 now, but she still inspires me in new ways every day.

We dropped off the hot red Dodge Challenger sportscar at the Budget rental car return and boarded the plane at 6:00 a.m. back to New Jersey on Monday morning. A and I were exhausted (D had already left on Sunday) but glad that the weekend had gone so well. “Maybe we’ll be back to celebrate grandma’s 100th birthday in 10 years from now,” said A, “That would be really fun!”

Judi