JudiBoomergirl’s Raves and Reviews

Posted on July 28, 2012 by Judi

Hi, all you boomer girls. I thought I would start a new Raves and Reviews blog post to curate some of the boomer girl reads of the week on topics that you have told me you find of interest – beauty, fashion, health and wellness (physical and financial) and most of all, fun! Some of these stories will be from books, magazines, newspapers, (you know I am an avid NY Times subscriber), television shows, or social media that I have stumbled upon. Or, trend-setting information that friends and readers have shared with me. I’ll bring these blog posts to you from time to time. I’ll aim to do it weekly, but don’t want to over commit.

Let me know what you think of these features. Do they spur you to think differently? Do you have a thought you would like to share with other boomer girls? Do you have a boomer girl trending topic you would like to share? If so, please leave a comment.

Here’s what I have for you this week:

Retirement: How do you feel about retirement? “According to Teresa Ghilarducci, professor of economics at the New School for Social Research, “Very few people have the money they need for old age, and it’s not their fault.” Read her piece from the NY Times Sunday Week in Review at “Our Ridiculous Approach to Retirement.”
Fashion: Do you dream of starting a business during the prime of your life? Read about Diane Gilman who has had success selling her jeans to baby boomers on HSN. (Go Diane! I’ll have to check you out on HSN.) Here’s Diane’s story on “Selling Fashion With Couch Appeal.”
Beauty: Coming up on Monday, July 30th at 9:00 p.m. ET on HBO, be sure to watch (or DVR like I now mastered thanks to my son D) the new documentary on “About Face:The Supermodels, Then and Now.” I loved the quotes from some of the boomer girl models who will be showcased. Listen up: “When you get older you build something else in your core, which goes beyond the physical, because it has to,” says Marisa Berenson. Or as Jerry Hall puts it, “Of course it’s no fun getting old or sick and dying. We all know that is coming and it’s a bore. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to age. When I turned 50, I felt a sense of achievement.” (I so agree with Jerry and Marisa. I’m still strengthening my core every day. Plus, I felt a sense of achievement when I turned 50 and I feel even more accomplishments are on the horizon.)

Enjoy!

Judi

P.S. – Calling all boomer girls…this blog is my newly updated site. I hope you like it. As part of the relaunch, anyone who signs up to receive my posts via email or leaves a comment on any blog post during the month of July, or sends a note to me with feedback about my newly designed blog, will be entered into a raffle for a copy of “I Remember Nothing And Other Reflections” in remembrance of the late writer Nora Ephron. I just received the book in the mail and it is so wonderful that I am going to order another copy for myself.(Note: To leave a comment on a post you can click the little bubble near the title of the post.)

Is Retirement the "Age of Opportunity?"

Posted on January 29, 2012 by Judi

This month, I celebrated my 54^th birthday. Maybe that’s why when I heard about the Age of Opportunity study from The Hartford and MIT AgeLab, I was eager to hear the findings. The study measured the opinions and concerns of Americans both in and approaching retirement. (Ooh, ah. Ooh, ah. I fall into the second category, being within 10 years of retirement.)

The study found that “most retirees are pleased with their life, and both pre-retirees and retirees have a positive attitude about retirement overall.” According to the study:

* “Retirees are more likely to say “I am happier now that I am retired” (77 percent) than those who have yet to retire are to say “I will be happier after I retire” (64 percent.)” (There is so much opportunity to look forward to when I eventually retire. I will write my book or maybe write two books. Or perhaps, I will study to become a yoga teacher. Ooh, ooh, maybe I will teach yoga to children – I don’t think I am flexible enough to teach yoga to adults. However, my yoga teacher did just ask me to play a student in her upcoming yoga DVD. Imagine me a student star. The best is truly yet to come.)

* “Other than wishing they could retire earlier (35 percent of pre-retirees), many soon-to-be retirees see few negatives about retiring.” (Hmm, hmm, hmm. That’s good news.)

* “Twenty-six percent of those nearing retirement said they feel “hopeful” about retirement.” (I second that opinion.)

* “Among those who did find something less than positive about the next phase of their lives, dealing with medical or health issues was cited most often (21 percent for pre- retirees).” (My dad always said “if you’ve got your health you’re rich.” While I didn’t listen to him when I was younger, now I know he was a wise man.)

* When it comes to money, “pre-retirees said a milestone birthday (19 percent) or the realization that they are within 10 years of retiring (15 percent) were the two most common triggers for serious financial planning. It also seems that early planning plays off: More affluent retirees – those with $250,000 or more of investable assets – are twice as likely to say they began serious financial planning when they got their first job.” (Really, their first job? Really? I definitely did not take financial planning seriously when I was 22 years old. Did you? I cannot remember when I started to take financial planning more seriously. Maybe it was in my 30s.)

If you want to learn about your financial style, I suggest you take a fun online quiz from Chase Blueprint. I ranked “financially savvy.” Go Judi! Go Judi! Go Judi! To take the quiz and also find out about saving for retirement go to: www.chasefinancialwellness.com.

* Oh yes, there was one more interesting bit of news in the Age of Opportunity survey. “When asked what song they’d use to describe the retirement they have, or the one they hope to have, both groups most often chose “I Did It My Way.” (Really? A Frank Sinatra song? Come on baby boomers? Really? What song would I choose? Let’s see. This is a difficult question. Wait, I’ve got it. I think for right now I’m going to choose “Working on A Dream” by boomer guy Bruce Springsteen.)

Yes, I am going to be working on my dream in my retirement years. The best is truly yet to come.

Judi

Note on Age of Opportunity Survey Methodology: From Oct. 3-16, 2011, GfK Roper conducted a total of 1,964 telephone interviews with adults 45 years and older using RDD (random digit dialing). To qualify, respondents must have retired in the past 2-10 years (“retiree”) or plan to retire in the next 2-10 years (“pre-retiree”). These groups were further divided based on their household’s total investable assets, with quotas for under $250,000 and $250,000 or higher.

Judi Goes To Washington For Women and Aging Panel

Posted on May 11, 2011 by Judi

I was so delighted to be invited to attend today’s Women and Aging 2011 Panel Discussion hosted by Volunteers of America at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. I was especially excited too, because one of my long-time boomer blogger idols was on the panel – Arianna Huffington.

My alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. Rise and shine. I showered, did my hair and dressed in my slim black a-line skirt and new black sweater with the pretty ruffles and was out the door and on the Amtrak platform by 6:00 a.m. ready to roll to D.C.

The topic of women and aging and the implications for an aging population are near and dear to my heart, not only for me personally as I age and as I become more of a caregiver to my aging mom, but also for those female colleagues and friends of mine who are caring for their aging parents and grandparents. There are so many caregivers and those in the sandwich generation too, who are caring for their parents and still caring for their kids.

The panel was moderated by Dr. Bob Arnot, a well-known physician and former NBC News correspondent. In addition to Arianna, others on the panel included Debra Ness, president of the National Partnership for Women & Families, Mike King, national president and CEO of Volunteers of America (VOA), and Lorraine Cortes-Vazquez, executive vice president of multicultural markets and engagement for AARP.

“We’re going to have a lively, fascinating, provocative discussion about the challenges faced by older women,” said the VOA spokesperson as she introduced the panel.

My ears perked up. I couldn’t wait to hear what these important experts had to say about this important topic.

According to VOA, our nation is on the cusp of one of the most dramatic demographic shifts in its history as a projected 71.5 million people will be age 65 or older by 2030. (Oh my, I’ll be 72 in 2030. Hope the future starts to slow down, I have lots of things I want to do before then.)

VOA says that the demands that shift will place on our country’s current system of providing elder care are daunting, affecting workplaces, health care and public policy for years to come. (I agree, this is a BIG ISSUE and IS ONLY GOING TO GET BIGGER AND BIGGER.)

VOA says that many Americans, especially women, are still unprepared and unaware of how these changes will affect them. (I definitely agree. Maybe we are unprepared because it’s scary to think about growing older, so we postpone dealing with the facts and figures until reality sets in, and then, and then, and then, it is too late.)

Are there any benefits to getting older?

Arianna awoke at 4:00 a.m. (just like me) to catch her plane this morning and forgot her contacts and heels. “That’s the great advantage of growing older,” she added, ”You can do it without your heels and contact lenses.” (I agree Arianna, I prefer flats and like my progressive eye glasses more than contacts.)

Debra chimed in that there is something liberating about getting older: ”My husband told me I had a stain on the back of my jacket. I wore it anyway because I was going to be sitting in a chair and no one would see it. When I was 30, I would not have let this happen.”

Lorraine spoke about how great it is to be 60. ”I had a hole in my stockings this morning and I just pulled them off,” she said. (Wow, I had a teeny tiny hole in my black stockings this morning too, but I didn’t change them. When I was 30, I would have never gone out without spotless stockings. I so agree, it is liberating to be 50+.)

Not all the news is bright.

Sadly, the consensus from the panel was that today our society does not honor those aging, but rather most of us see it as a burden to take care of our elders. Arianna said that in her home country of Greece that “as you get older, you are more revered and respected. “The world needs your wisdom as you age,” she said.

The focus turned to women and aging because so many women out live their spouses and so many women out live their retirement savings. In addition, there continues to be wage disparity between women and men, so women tend to save less. Plus, 61 percent of caregivers today are women and when they are giving care to others they tend to physically neglect their own care. These female caregivers tend to be impacted economically because they must leave the workforce to care for their elderly parents (many more moms than dads) or utilize their assets to care for their elderly parents and then the cycle repeats itself.

How do we prepare for caregiving?

Lorraine said that a woman who is 55-60 will live 27-30 more years. So she must prepare earlier. (Ooh, I really listened closely as I am one of those women that Lorraine is talking about.)

She said that there are four key buckets to consider:

1. Health – I need to make sure that I get my regular preventive checkups – mammograms, sugar screening, cholesterol screening, pap test, etc.
2. Decisions - I need to be decisive and let my family know what my plans are for old age, medical proxies, power of attorneys, wills, and more.
3. Home and Community – Where and how do I want to live. Are there adequate medical facilities in those areas for when I age?
4. Finances – Medicare will not provide for long-term care insurance. Am I saving appropriately for my life expectancy?

So much to think about. It all seems overwhelming. Not only for me as I begin to age, but also as I, along with my sister N, take on a greater role of caregiver responsibilities for my soon to be 90 year old mom.

Sleep to the rescue.

Sleep always seems to get in the way, especially for aging women and women caregivers. (Don’t I know it.)

Arianna talked about having a ‘crusade for sleep.’ She has set up napquest rooms at AOL. (Go Ari. Go Ari. I love nappy times when I can grab them on a weekend, but naps are never an option during busy work weeks.)

“There is something about sleep deprivation,” said Arianna. ”We need to learn to nurture ourselves. We will feel better about ourselves if we sleep. There is so much reliance on sleep medication. We need really good sleep hygiene, it is important. Never sleep with your devices charging by your bed. Don’t take your day work into your night work.” (I wanted to hug Arianna. I am on a sleep crusade as well. Only it is not working too well this week.)

More to share
There’s much more to share on the subject of women and aging and since I am passionate about this subject you will be hearing more blog posts once I finish reading the VOA report on Boomer Bust 2011, a research study investigating the financial realities faced by seniors and their caregivers today.

Meantime, I did ask Lorraine about where boomer women can go to for help on this topic. Her answer was to check out the AARP Design, Create, and Share Program. It sounded like a good first start. In addition, you can find more policy information on the Volunteers of America site and learn more about policies at the National Partnership for Women & Families. Of course, I can’t forget that Arianna said The Huffington Post is going to start a section on aging. Maybe Arianna will share my business card that I gave her with her editors and they will ask me to write a column or two. I must be dreaming. Oh, yes, is that Judi, Judi, Judi pictured with Arianna Huffington? Yes, it is. Bold, brave Judi with an “i” asked Arianna to take a picture with her and she said yes.

It was a great day, but since it is past my bedtime I better do as Arianna says and “not take my day work into my night work.” I’m shutting off my computer now.

Talk to you soon.

Judi

I’ve Got The Power

Posted on September 23, 2009 by Judi

I saw Suze Orman speak last week at the Pennsylvania Governor’s Conference for Women. I had never heard Suze Orman speak before. Never read any of her books. Never watched her television show. But, after one presentation I was hooked. She was so motivating, especially to women…and not just young women…but women of all ages.

As Suze said, “we get better with age.” According to Suze, the average talk show host is 57 years old. (Does that mean I still have six more years to become a talk show host? Maybe once I write my book and become famous then I can become a talk show host. Maybe if I write my book and then have a talk show, I can invite Richard Gere as a guest. Ooh, that sounds like good motivation to get my book out of draft mode and into serious edit mode.)

What else did Suze say to the thousands of women who attended the conference? She had a lot more advice:

- Suze says that “the only thing that keeps us down is the ability to believe in ourselves.” (Sometimes, okay oftentimes, I don’t believe in myself. But, I’m getting better at believing…especially since I turned the BIG 50. It was like I hit a magic number that changed my ‘believing’ genes.)

- Suze says that “women take care of everyone and everything except ourselves.” (Suze is sooooooooo right on this point. I do take care of everyone…always thinking of everyone first, especially my kids – even though they should be taking care of themselves now that they are all grown up. And I do take care of everything – my house is a really BIG EVERYTHING lately. I have to start refocusing on me.)

- Suze says that “you have to learn to give to yourself as much as you give to others.” (Suze is right again. So glad I took time out for myself last Sunday afternoon and went to Lord & Taylor to purchase another pair of my favorite Not Your Daughter’s Jeans. I also tried to purchase a leopard belt so I would be trendy for the first day of fall, which is today, but they didn’t have any leopard belts in my size. I will just have to take more ‘timeouts for me’ and keep hunting for my leopard belt.)

- Suze says “Power attracts money and when you are powerlessness you repel money.” She says that “Power attracts people. People control money. Power attracts money.” (Suze is right again. Now I just have to practice exuding more power when I walk into a room, just like Suze says. Then maybe I will attract more money.)

- Suze says that “fear, shame and anger are three obstacles to power and money.” (Yes, yes, and yes – I carry all those emotions and they do weigh me down.)

- Suze says that “we say no to ourselves, but yes to others including yes to our kids, our spouses, our coworkers. What we think, what we feel, what we do, must all be aligned.” (I agree with Suze. However, sometimes what I think and feel don’t always match up with what I do. Note to self to practice this alignment. Wonder if yoga will help with my alignment?)

- Suze says that “the economy is no excuse for who we believe we are.” (So who else should I blame if not the economy that has drained out my 401K and other assets?)

According to Suze, there are key things I should be doing with the money I am making…and they are:

1. Have an eight month emergency fund. (I agree and I do.)

2. Get out of credit card debt. (I agree. No debt for me.)

3. Save for retirement and sign up for your company’s 401K, especially if they have a match. (I agree and I did.)

4. Have a will and trust. (Yes, yes, I do, I do.)

5. Tell your children ‘no,’ save more for retirement instead of putting more money in a 529 account to pay for all their college expenses. (Okay, I don’t want to talk about this step right now…especially since my son seems to be so happy in NYC even though it is costing me mega bucks to send him to college.)

“People first, powerful people first, then money, then things we need and want,” Suze says.

Ooh Suze, ooh Suze…you are so motivating. I’ve got the power to be powerful, to attract people, to attract money. I do. I do. Well, at least right now I do believe I have the power. But, how can I ensure that this feeling doesn’t diminish?

Ooh, maybe I should post your words up under my bathroom lights so I can read them every morning when I put on my makeup and lipstick before I leave the house for work. Yes, yes, yes, that’s exactly what I think I’ll do.

Judi

Financial Check up

Posted on July 26, 2008 by Judi

Now that I’ve had my cardio check up, I thought it was time to have a financial check up. I had always thought about getting a financial check up and after I became a widow, I thought it was time to find myself a real live financial advisor to examine the state of my financial affairs. My hubby was always very good at looking out for our financial future. I miss not having him around to keep track of our pennies…and my spending too.

I’m resourceful. I told myself. I can find a good financial advisor. And so I did. Then I went about doing my homework (boy, did it take time to compile all my assets and boy, did it take even longer time to compile all my spending…before I had a financial advisor I never bothered adding up all of my spending…it was a shocking experience).

This afternoon, I had a chance to sit down with my financial advisor and hear what he had to say…I was nervous…I was scared…actually almost frightened to hear what he had to say about my future financial status.

Will I be able to get my facials when I retire?

Will I be able to afford to buy my Activa yogurt when I retire…the yogurt that keeps getting more expensive every time I go to the grocery store? And what about the occasional bag of peanut M&Ms that I like? (I know I’m not supposed to eat these high fat treats since I have to watch my cholesterol and fat content…but they are treats.)

Will I be able to keep my ‘condo on the corner’ at the shore when I retire?

So many ‘will I’ questions to think about…or worry about. (“Practice using mindfulness,” I said to myself. “Stop worrying about the future…stay in the present.”)

I sat and listened intently as my financial advisor mapped out a variety of scenarios…if I retire at 55…if I don’t…if I retire at 60…if I don’t…if I save more money…if I work after my retirement…if I buy long term care insurance…if I don’t…if I manage my 40lK properly…if I buy tax-free bonds…if I consider the impact of inflation…the list just kept getting longer and longer as he turned each page in my portfolio.

“Oh my, oh my,” I started to gasp as my menopausal hot flashes started to soar.

This financial checkup was weighing heavy on my heart after the two hours were up. I felt like I had just done a cardio workout in addition to a financial check up.(I wonder if this check up will help me lower the level of plaque build up in my arteries).

“Look over everything and call me with any questions,” said my financial advisor.

“Yes, yes, I will,” I replied as I headed out the door. I had hardly eaten all day and was in great need of a large dose of protein to satisfy my empty stomach and a good massage to relax my body and shore up my soul.

I ate my tasty Kashi turnover that was full of fiber and full of protein…I put on my exercise gear and I went straight to see my friend D to get a massage. I’m so glad D is learning to be a massage therapist. She worked wonders on my body. She said that the muscles in the left side of my back are more tense than the right side. D said that it may be a result of always carrying my heavy handbag on my left shoulder.

When she was done with the massage, D put some soothing ‘tea tree oil’ on all my mosquito bites…my mosquito bites from the Vietnamese mosquitos that bit me the other day when I was in my backyard with my landscaper. I don’t like these mosquitos. I never knew my backyard mosquitos were so diverse…to think they flew all the way from Vietnam. Guess they had to bite me multiple times on both legs and both arms to make the trip worth their while. I may have to purchase some of this organic medicinal ‘tea tree oil’ for myself if my visiting mosquitos don’t go back to where they came from soon.

What a tiring day…I’m looking forward to retiring to my super duper beach chair tomorrow at my condo on the corner…that’s the only retiring I’m going to be contemplating this weekend.

Judi