A Daughter Is A Precious Gift

Posted on April 4, 2013 by Judi

It’s the first week of April. That means my daughter’s birthday is coming up and my daughter A is inching up the age bracket. I won’t tell you her exact age (she wouldn’t want me to). I’ll just tell you that she is twenty-something – somewhere between 25 and 30 years old.

It’s been more than a quarter of a century since A came into my life. I was just about the age she is turning this week when I became pregnant for the first time. I was so excited when she popped out of my belly. “It’s a girl,” said the obstetrician. “You have a daughter.” I was scared too. I became a mom and at times I felt like a child myself. How was I going to take care of a baby girl? (Separately, why don’t babies come with a set of instructions on how to be cared for? Huh? Wish someone would figure out how to do this by now and tweet it out to the world! It would make parenting a whole lot easier.) Would I be able to pass on the family values that my mom (and dad) had passed on to me? Would A and I have the same close bond that my mom and I had from childhood through adulthood?

Looking at the woman A has become, I think I did a pretty good job. (Okay, okay, I must give a huge amount of credit to her dad too. My late husband M was a great dad. He would be so proud of his daughter.) She is a fashionista like me and like her late grandmother P . She is smart and has traveled the world, much more so than I did at her age. She lives in the big city, NYC, just like I did when I was twenty-something. She is on the path to a successful career. I know she will be a CFO one day. Yes she will. She will pursue her aspirations and dreams.

And hopefully one day, yes hopefully one day, she will give birth to a daughter just like I gave birth to her. (Of course, she has time to have a daughter – I am much too young to be a grandma or nana or mom mom yet. Much too young.)

I didn’t know what to get A for her birthday. I’m taking her and her brother D to France next month to celebrate my retirement from my 30+ years of corporate life. That’s her (and D’s) BIG birthday gift this year. However, being the mom that I am, I wanted to get something small, something tiny but special, to celebrate A’s birthday this week.

This book by Marci of Children Of The Inner Light struck a special cord with me as I celebrate my daughter's birthday this week.

As I walked into Whole Foods tonight, I found the perfect gift. It is a book. A book by an author who I never read before. The author is named Marci and the book is called “To My Daughter – Love and Encouragement to Carry With You On Your Journey Through Life.” Marci looks to be a boomer girl like me and her company is called Children of The Inner Light.

I stood at the table at the back of the store and read the entire book before I bought it. Just like the book jacket says, “This book has all the right amount of magic and emotion to let your daughter know the unconditional love you feel for her. It is everything you’ve ever wanted to say to your daughter in a way that will touch her heart as much as she has touched yours.” Marci’s words are so eloquent and her stick figures that accompany the words so cute.

Each paragraph was better than the next. My favorite paragraph was titled “I Just Have One Question…Where Did The Time Go?” It is exactly how I am feeling about my daughter A as she approaches her next birthday and as I look back on her life during my life after 50. Here’s Marci’s answer:

“Wasn’t it just yesterday that you were a baby in my arms? I looked at your precious face and wondered where life would take you. Today, I look at the person you’ve become…strong, kind, thoughtful, caring, and optimistic, and I realize that the dreams I held in my heart for you are alive in your beautiful spirit.”

Happy Birthday A! Happy Birthday To You! I hope you read this book cover to cover just like I did tonight. A daughter is truly a precious gift. Cherish all the words, one page is better than the next.

Judi

P.S. – Congrats to Nancy McMahon on winning the March raffle prize of the “Reader’s Digest The Digest Diet.” The book is coming your way soon. I’ll be reaching out to you via email. Thanks for your comment on the blog post: Staying Fit and Fabulous After 50.

P.S.S. – Be sure to read the press on JudiBoomergirl’s blog featured this week in Harvard Business Review at HBR Blog. Read all the great news about the power of boomer girls. We are a strong and vibrant group of women.

Staying Fit and Fabulous After 50

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Judi

In recognition of March National Nutrition Month, I asked my BFF and expert dietitian, Laura Sabban MS RD CSR, to provide her views on two diet books that came my way. The books are “The Digest Diet” and “The Digest Diet Cookbook” by Liz Vaccariello, editor-in-chief of Reader’s Digest and coauthor of the bestseller “Flat Belly Diet!” (Note that the PR lady did not send a copy of the “Flat Belly Diet!” which sounds interesting to me since I do not have a flat belly but would really like to know if it is possible to ever have a flat belly again – especially after having two children during my life before 50.)

So what did my BFF Laura have to say about staying fit and fabulous in our fifties? “Selling magazines and diet books making us think it is easy to shed pounds at this age is making people rich. But a lifetime of habit isn’t going to change without some effort and we need to be realistic about what it takes to be able to avoid those elastic-waist pants,” says Laura. (I know Laura, I don’t want to have to only rely on stretch pants as I age.)

In reviewing the books, Laura comments that “The Digest Diet” and its companion cookbook start out saying it will be easy to make huge lifestyle changes. “The author Liz promises that there are magic foods to eat that ‘release fat’, and that you won’t be miserable or hungry because the foods are so satisfying,” says Laura.

“Indeed the recipes are truly interesting and photographed in stunning color. However she promises that you’ll lose an average of 11 pounds in 3 weeks and that you can exercise at your own pace…as long as you follow the diet exactly, do high-intensity interval training (!!!), spend your Sunday afternoon cooking organic foods, give up dessert in favor of ricotta cheese and eat a salad when you (invariably) get hungry.”

(Really, I have to do all that? BTW, I did try the Strawberry Almond Shake during the BlogHer conference book event last summer and it was rather tasty. I sampled the shake made with frozen berries, flaxseed, avocado and cocoa powder. A typical shake includes 16 grams of protein. I also found the new cookbook recipes to be appealing and may try to make a few such as the Chicken Piccata with Capers & Olives and the Herb Crusted Salmon. )

“At 1200 calories a day, even with no magic foods, almost anyone can lose weight,” Laura adds. “The science presented isn’t always great but overall, the book does advocate a balanced, healthy approach to dieting and will work for the motivated. The 12 people who ‘tested’ the plan seemed to like it. But I think that boomer women don’t want to spend much time cooking anymore, won’t join a gym if they haven’t already and want to have dessert more than once a week.” (Hmm, hmm, hmm. Laura you are my BFF and I do agree that boomer girls don’t want to spend extra time in the kitchen, but I do know many boomer girls who like to work out at the gym including your BFF.)

Laura is my BFF and a very smart registered dietitian.

As a special guest blogger, Laura provided these simple tips to help boomer girls stay fit and fabulous:

- Firstly, eat three reasonable meals a day. Don’t go more than 5 hours without eating something. Yes, it has to do with insulin levels, but there’s no point in making it more complicated than that. (I agree – breakfast, lunch and dinner – I try not to miss a meal.)

- Second, eat vegetables and fresh fruit as often as you can. No one ever got fat from eating too much fruit. (I’m glad I love fruit – blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, apples, oranges, pears, grapes.)

- Thirdly, choose lower fat dairy products. We eat too much rich cheese on everything. (I really like the Sargento Reduced Fat Cheeses. You can buy slices or shredded varieties.)

- Fourthly, take a walk every day, weather permitting. Or find another way to keep moving that feels comfortable. It’s also a mood lifter. (Walking does it for me – oh where is that pedometer?)

- And lastly, every day reward yourself with something yummy of about 100 calories—1/2 oz. of chocolate, a small yogurt, a tablespoon of peanut butter on celery, or a snack bag of crackers or cookies. Sometimes just knowing a treat awaits you later makes it easier to hold out against indulging too much earlier in the day. (My treat of the day has to be dark chocolate – my boyfriend L has converted me – it’s the best.)

“Common sense may not be sexy, but it’s all one really needs,” adds Laura.

Now you see why Laura is my BFF? She is so smart!

If you would like to be entered into the raffle to win a copy of “The Digest Diet,” leave a comment on my blog about how you stay fit and fabulous during your life after 50. Or “like” Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or “follow” judiboomergirl on Twitter and leave your comment there. Deadline for entry is March 31, 2013.

Judi

From Loss, Comes New Traditions

Posted on November 21, 2012 by Judi

I went to see Kati Marton, the award-winning journalist and author of Paris: A Love Story, speak last week at the Book and Culture Festival at the Cherry Hill Jewish Community Center. Kati’s memoir is about her life after the sudden death of her second husband, Richard Holbrooke, a former U.S. diplomat. Kati’s first husband was Peter Jennings, the former anchor of the ABC Evening News, who passed away from lung cancer in 2005.

“This is life,” said Kati. “None of us escape loss.” She had been married most of her entire adult life. “To be single, what does one do?” said Kati. She went to Paris, “where good things always happen” to decide what she was going to do in the next phase of her life.

Kati Marton is the author of Paris: A Love Story

I enjoyed reading Kati’s memoir. As Kati told us, “this book is about how to get from terrible grief back to life.” I could relate to Kati’s comments about “how loss opens up other lives” and about how she has become much closer to her siblings and to her children since the death of her husband. “When you are married you lose some of those close bonds with others,” said Kati. “After multiple losses, we have started new traditions – many centered around Paris.”

Like Kati, after the loss of my husband M (almost five years ago), I have grown closer to my two children, my daughter A and my son D. We are a tight threesome now, carrying on some of our old family traditions, while creating new ones as well.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I will not be roasting a turkey or elaborate turducken like their dad did each Thanksgiving morning. My sister-in-law is ordering the turkey all prepared from the local grocer. Rather, I will be trying a new dish on the menu – carmelized brussels sprouts – and hope the sprouts will turn out as delicious as the ones my children and I recently ate at Alta, a tapas restaurant in NYC. My son D will be following in his father’s footsteps when he prepares the baquette just the way his dad did – slicing, dusting with olive oil, salting and toasting in the oven until nice and crispy. Then we will all devour the slices topped with our favorite spinach artichoke and crab artichoke dips from Whole Foods. Yes, M gave his children a wonderful love of good food…and me too.

I am also making two homemade pies this year. Cider Apple Crumb Pie from The Hay Day Country Market Cookbook and Pear Blueberry Pie from a recipe I saved from an old Bon Appetit magazine. My late husband M subscribed to Bon Appetit and always loved the Thanksgiving issue.

“Open your heart,” said my yoga instructor P this morning during yoga class. “It’s time to think about those you are grateful for this Thanksgiving and scrunch them into your heart.” I thought about my late husband M and I scrunched him into a corner of my heart. “Scrunch some more endearing souls into your heart,” P repeated, “There’s lots of room in there.” I scrunched in my daughter A and my son D. I scrunched in my mom P and my sister N. I scrunched in my boyfriend L. I scrunched in all my extended family members and friends.

Ahh, ahh, ahh, my heart is now fully scrunched with gratefulness this Thanksgiving. I hope your heart is fully scrunched too.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Judi

Mastering Master Class

Posted on July 18, 2012 by Judi

When the publicist for “Master Class: Living Longer, Stronger, and Happier” sent an advance copy of Peter Spiers’ new book to me, I knew it would jump to the top of my pile. After reading the first few chapters, I was hooked. ”I want to be a Master during this next phase of my life,” I said to myself. ”What does it take to master the Master Way of Life?”

Spiers is Senior Vice President of Road Scholar, formerly known as Elderhostel, the world’s largest nonprofit organization dedicated to lifelong learning and educational travel. Much of his book is based on research and feedback from past travel participants. Elderhostel changed its brand name a few years ago when they realized that for Baby Boomers the world “elder” is no longer acceptable. (Much agree with the name change. Ooh, ooh, ooh, soon I will be of the age to participate in Road Scholar trips — can’t wait.)

According to Spiers, the four key dimensions of the Master Way of Life are socializing, moving, thinking, and creating. Many who are Masters gravitate to activities that combine a few of these dimensions like gardening, participating in book clubs, volunteering, walking with friends for exercise, maintaining a website or blog (me, me, me, meee!) or other activities.

Spiers says: “For everyone, no matter what the specific trigger, this stage starts when something causes you to look up and see that you’ve been running at full speed, often out of an admirable obligation to care for someone else, and to realize that it’s time to take care of yourself for a change.” (Hmm, hmm, this is starting to sound like someone I know. Ah, yes, this sounds like me, me, me, meee! I do hear that small voice in the back of my head. It is planting new dreams and reawakening old ones. It is starting to scream pretty loud.)

Spiers says that “the more you make of this stage of your life, the longer it can last.” He says that “true Masters – are still going strong in this life stage in their eighties and even nineties.” (I think my mother who is 90 is definitely a true Master. You go girl. Yes, you keep going and I’m going to follow. And so is my sister N.)

Spiers says that “this life stage can last 30 or even 40 years, making it for some extraordinary people the longest, happiest, and most enriching and satisfying period in their lives.” (Wow-o-wow, I am so excited to become a Master.)

Spiers provides a step-by-step guide with exercises, charts and activities to become your own Master. He also provides life lessons from those who are already mastering Master Class. As part of this blog post, Spiers offered to share one of his own life lessons. Here’s his story:

“My childhood friend Kevin and I reconnected through Facebook; we hadn’t been in touch since the day in 1972 when we graduated from high school. Despite the gap of time we soon discovered a shared passion—running. Kevin was more dedicated, tracking his distance and pace with a GPS watch and posting his runs to a website called RunKeeper. I was more casual, running 10 or 12 miles each week to Kevin’s 20 or more and keeping no records. Kevin’s approach inspired me; at the end of 2011 we formed a goal together to run 2,012 miles in 2012. I got a GPS watch for Christmas and launched into the quest on New Year’s Day.

Things went well through April. The winter was mild in the Northeast, my favorite dirt trail stayed blessedly clear of snow, and I consistently reached my goal of 84 miles each month. (I’d even lost eight pounds since the Holidays!) With a few days left until the first third of the year ended my total mileage stood at 324, 12 miles short of where I needed to be at April’s end to stay on pace. I ran nine miles on Sunday, April 29^th, and needed only three more on Monday.

Five years ago I began to experience intermittent pain in my left knee which my sports doctor diagnosed as arthritis. The pain came and went and, even when it came, it was tolerable. I adjusted, cutting exercises like squats and lunges from my gym workouts, and not climbing stairs two at a time. But I kept running, racking up around 600 miles each year and doing some five- and 10-kilometer races. A thousand miles in a year didn’t seem like a big stretch, though I guess I knew in the back of my mind that a collision with fate might result.

So I ran my long weekend run on Sunday, April 29^th, and the next day, despite long habit, I didn’t take the day off. After work that Monday, the last day of April, I ran an easy three miles; reaching the milestone—running those last three miles to push myself through the checkpoint—seemed more important than resting.

The next day, May 1^st, I got out of bed and knew immediately something was wrong. My knee felt stiff, my range of motion limited. All day the pain gathered; by late afternoon I felt like a giant had put one hand on my thigh, another on my calf and twisted the two parts of my leg in opposite directions. I swallowed some ibuprofen, made an appointment with my knee doctor, and waited.

Within days the pain began to subside, but I knew better than to risk running for a while. I swam a bit and, after a week or ten days, tentatively ventured out to walk a few miles at a medium clip. A week later I started running again, taking it short and slow. On the last Sunday in May I ran five miles, and on the first Sunday in June—just two days before my doctor’s appointment—I ran seven.

The next day I was again in a lot of pain; I could have scripted my doctor’s appointment. We compared x-rays from five years ago with new ones and the incremental wear on my knee was obvious. It wasn’t anything catastrophic—just a steady grinding, another notch or two ratcheted toward never running again.

Don’t stop running, the doctor told me. Just not so far and so often. Reality had finally caught me, slamming right into my thousand-mile dream.

I’m fifty-seven. It’s getting harder for me to hear conversations in a noisy bar or restaurant. My shoulder sometimes aches, thanks to tendonitis and a couple of long-ago bicycling accidents. And now my left knee was sending a message I couldn’t ignore.

Despite these inevitable signs of aging, I’m not throwing in the towel. Physical fitness is too important, not only in combating everything from heart disease to diabetes, but for cognitive health, too. Our culture separates mind and body, forgetting that the brain is just another organ, dependent on a healthy cardio-vascular system to provide it with oxygen and sugar.

I’ll adjust and find another, lower-impact form of exercise to obsess about. As a teenager I swam competitively and, though I don’t cycle as much as I used to, my Cannondale is still hanging in the garage. And the doctor didn’t say I couldn’t run at all, so… triathlon, anyone?

I hope Peter Spier’s story inspires you to think differently about how you want to Master your own journey during your life after 50. Let me know what you plan to do. Share a comment or two.

Judi

Divorce After 50

Posted on August 27, 2010 by Judi

I don’t really fit into the “divorce after 50″ club, since I am a widow. In addition, I don’t know that I plan to get married again and if I ever do get married again, hopefully, I won’t get divorced. However, I told the public relations person that I would be glad to review her book “Divorce After 50″ so that I could share all the information with any of my readers who might need such a guide.

I am glad that there is a comprehensive guide such as this book for those boomer women who are thinking about divorce or in the middle of a divorce situation and need help sorting out all the legal and financial challenges. After all, look at Tipper and Al, I’m sure there are many other women out there who after many years of marriage have decided to call it quits.

In fact, if you are one of those women and are reading this review, I will be glad to send along my sample copy. But, contact me soon, I only have one copy to share. Otherwise, you’ll have to go to Amazon.com and buy it yourself.

Judi

The Help

Posted on March 15, 2010 by Judi

I finally finished my first book on my Kindle. I read The Help by Kathryn Stockett. It is Kathryn’s first novel and was quite impressive. I would highly recommend this story about young women growing up in Mississippi during the early 1960s. Skeeter, one of the main characters, was my favorite. She wanted to be a writer and move to New York City…no wonder I like her. According to Entertainment Weekly magazine, Steven Spielberg is going to produce the movie. Can’t wait to see who is cast in each part.

A Brand New Kindle

Posted on January 15, 2010 by Judi

I’m here to report that after much back and forth and forth and back with the Amazon.com associates, that I have a brand new Kindle.

Last week, the day before my birthday, I received a message from the Amazon team to go to a special spot in my neighborhood to see if my sick Kindle would work. I had plans to visit this special spot during the weekend. I thought I would visit to see if I could help heal my sick Kindle and as the Amazon team says “find it’s Whispernet,” the signal that a Kindle needs to enable it to download books.

But, on Saturday, a nice Amazon associate called me later in the day. “We are shipping you a new Kindle and we are truly sorry for all we put you through. In addition, we are going to give you $30 in Amazon Rewards to download books.”

I was excited to receive my brand new Kindle this week. I quickly opened the box…no more waiting a year to start up this device.

“At least take off your coat,” said my son D.

“Nope, I need to download a book right away,” I said, as I pushed the on switch and moved the roller around and watched the screen appear that indicated I had the “Whispernet signal.”

I downloaded “The Help.” I downloaded two books in the “Twilight” series.

I’m all set for my vacation. Ready to read and I’m not even retired yet.

I do hope I learn to love my Kindle like other Kindle lovers I know.

Judi

My Sick Kindle

Posted on January 8, 2010 by Judi

I was so excited to use my new Kindle that had been given to me as a gift for my 25 anniversary last year. I finally had time to unpack it and learn how to download books. I was so excited. But, when I revved the engine (or should I say revved the battery) my Kindle could not find it’s Whispernet. And when it finally did find it’s Whispernet, I wasn’t able to download any books.

I called the Amazon Help desk three times during the holiday and they still have not solved my problem. I am really sad about my sick Kindle. I was told to take it outside. I did that. I was told to charge it overnight. I did that. I was told to leave it alone…all alone and wait a few days. I did that. Still my Kindle sits with no ability to download any books.

I am not only sad. I am very angry at Amazon.com right now. One of their Help Desk associates told me I may have to purchase another Kindle. Why would I want to do that? My faith in Amazon is dwindling.

Will I ever be able to read a book on my Kindle? Ever, ever, ever? Stay tuned. I’ll be back to report.

Judi