Some Wonderful Words From My Daughter

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Judi

Since this Sunday is Mother’s Day, I thought I would share a special blog post from a special person in my life — my daughter A. Yes, my daughter A is my guest blogger for this week. She gave a rousing speech at my retirement party last month when I left my corporate communications job after 30 years.

As I think about my successes in life, being a mother ranks higher than any of my other careers, financial accomplishments or life experiences. The gratitude and love I have for my two wonderful children — my daughter A and son D — and the legacy that I (and my late husband M) have created with them are my greatest achievement for sure.

My daughter A’s words moved me to tears along with a few laughs too. I hope you enjoy her remarks. Take it away A…

life after 50, parenting, baby boomer women, over 50

My daughter A gave rousing remarks at my retirement party

“Most of the time when a young girl is asked what she wants to be when she grows up, the answers are usually a ballerina, a princess, an actress or a singer. But as far back as I can remember, I have always said that when I grow up I am going to be just like my mom.

I wanted to live in New York City and be a businesswoman. I also wanted to do all of this, get married, have kids and raise a family all at the same time. So I guess, you could say, that growing up I wanted to be a superhero – but more specifically, superwoman. My mom has many powers, to say the least.

She is the smartest and most knowledgeable person I know. She graduated from high school a year early and was second in her class. She also reads The New York Times every morning – and not just for the current events, but also because it connects her to her roots in New York City, a city that she grew up in and if given the choice, probably would have never left and during her life after 50 may even move back to.

She always seems to know what is going on at any given company, what’s new, what’s hip and what’s innovative. She always likes to instill this knowledge to her children – like that time my brother needed a summer internship and my mom made him email the founders of this chocolate company that she saw in the newspaper. My brother D ended up getting a job with the chocolate company and working there that summer.

For those of you who know me, I have extremely high aspirations of running a company one day – on a monthly basis my mom sends me CFO magazine, which usually includes Post-it notes with the people she thinks I should email and connect with to help me make that goal a reality.

My mom is the strongest and bravest person I know. Not many people lose their spouse and have to start their life over at the age of 50, but she did and she did it with grace, never missing a beat – throwing herself into her writing and her blog and focusing on keeping life as normal as possible for my brother and me.

She is also a risk taker; sometimes when people go through traumatic events in their lives, they take an extravagant vacation or buy a fancy sports car – my mom bought a house. I remember when she told me she bought that beach house at the Jersey Shore. In the beginning, I actually thought she was a little crazy because growing up we never really went to the beach, my dad was not really a beach person. But then I saw how happy and relaxed she was down at the shore, and suddenly the idea didn’t seem as crazy to me anymore. My mom took a risk on that house and in the end that risk turned into a great reward.

My mom is a fashionista. In case you haven’t noticed, my mom accessorizes very well. Very rarely will you find her without her signature item – her scarf. If you saw her closet, you’d see that she has one in every color and every pattern. I tried to count them once but eventually lost track. My mom also loves to shop. If you asked her what her favorite time of year is, I’m pretty sure she’d say July and not because it’s summer, but because it’s the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

My mom and I have a ritual – I usually take off from work and come home, and we do our biggest shopping trip of the year together – sometimes we even invite my brother D. I think we broke a record one year – our shopping trip at Nordstrom lasted eight hours. You may think this is a joke, but I’m not even exaggerating. When mom and I are together – there is no stopping us.

My mom’s love of shopping has definitely been passed on to me. A few summers ago my boyfriend and I had just broken up so to make me feel better my mom took me shopping. On our way out of the mall, we walked by the Louis Vuitton store. We decided to go in. I proceeded to try on bags and was on the verge of buying one when I said “Mom, be honest here – am I crazy?” Her response, the PG version, was “Screw it. You only live once.”

And so I bought that handbag and these are now words that I live by. Anytime I am indecisive about buying anything I think of what my mom said and I say “Screw it. I only live once.” Suffice it to say that I have a lot of clothes and a VERY extensive shoe collection.

My brother and I have learned a lot from our mom in both our professional and personal lives. She has inspired us to be career driven, to always go after what we want no matter how unattainable and that no obstacle is too great to overcome. She has taught us to dress the part, because eventually, if we are going to run companies, we have to look good doing it. And most importantly, she has taught us that life doesn’t always go as planned. We must take chances and risks, embrace new opportunities with enthusiasm, even if we have doubt, and if we believe in ourselves, we can make any dreams of ours become a reality.

Thank you.”

life after 50, Godiva chocolates, baby boomer women, Mother's Day

Enter to win a box of GODIVA chocolates!

What do you think? Didn’t A do a good job? How has your mom inspired your success? Share your thoughts and you’ll be entered into my Mother’s Day raffle where one lucky winner will receive a box of GODIVA chocolates (courtesy of my friends from GODIVA Chocolatier). Leave a comment on this blog post or “like” Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or “follow” judiboomergirl on Twitter and leave your comment there. Deadline for entry is Sunday, May 12, 2013.

GODIVA is celebrating inspirational women by offering a gift that also makes a difference in lives of children in need. GODIVA has partnered with FEED for Mother’s Day to create an exclusive “FEED 10 Tote Bag”, as part of their corporate philanthropy initiative, The Lady GODIVA Program. Each “FEED 10 Tote Bag” will be bundled with either a $30 or $50 box of GODIVA chocolate and provides 10 school meals to children in cocoa-producing regions through United Nations World Food Programme (WFP). Stop by a GODIVA boutique or go to www.godiva.com to get your Mother’s Day chocolates and tote bag.

Celebrate your mom and have a happy Mother’s Day!

Judi

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Judi

This week I said goodbye to my 30 year career in corporate communications at one of the most beloved consumer food companies. I won’t tell you the name of this company, but suffice it to say that Andy Warhol’s painting made it even more famous many years ago. I actually have an original framed print signed by the artist himself when I did a PR program with him early on in my career. It hangs on the landing step at my home.

I remember the day I arrived at the company’s corporate headquarters in Southern New Jersey. It was November 1983. I remember it clearly. I arrived from New York City with my blue suit. It had a short-cropped jacket and a full skirt below the knee. My blouse was red and I wore a strand of pearls. I was ready for work in Marketing Communications. Ready to conquer the world and break the glass ceiling as they said in those days. There were IBM electric typewriters — no computers or mobile phones.

Over the years I climbed the corporate ladder, always reaching higher. Networking, mentoring, teaching, learning, sharing, building teams and watching them grow. I worked with four successive CEOs, I helped found and nurture the company’s Women’s Network and developed external and internal communications programs that continue today.

There were good times and bad times in my life during the three decades. I got married to M. I gave birth to my two children – A and D – and joined the ranks of working moms. I lost my dad to heart disease in the late 80s. After 24 years of marriage, I lost my husband at the end of 2007, after a valiant struggle with illness. And just a month ago, I lost my mom at 91 years of age.

My-o-my how times have changed.

For the past five years, I have been living a double life. Judy with a ‘y’ during the day at my corporate workplace and Judi with an ‘i” at night at home on the computer. Yes, during my countdown to 50 I started a little blog. And then the blog grew. And then I turned 50 and started the blog you are reading today. Blogging has indeed become a big part of my life, as have all of you — my blog readers.

retirement, life after 50, over 50, boomer women

Drink some martinis and raise your glasses. I'm retiring from my 30 year corporate career!

In November, The Huffington Post recognized my blog as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Post 50 Women.” A few weeks ago my blog won a 2013 Webby Award Honoree in the Personal Blog Category. And just recently, a publisher came calling to tell me that they loved my writing and that I should submit some of my posts for publication in their journal or perhaps a book. I am very proud of my little blog and look forward to nurturing my community even more during my life after 50. With millions of boomer women across the globe – the sky’s the limit for the JudiBoomergirl brand.

It’s time for me to spread my wings and take off in a new direction. I do hope to write a memoir about my journey these past five years – it’s been quite a transformation since losing my spouse, selling my house and emptying out my nest.

I hope to spend time traveling – my first stop is France with my two favorite people – my children A and D. Plus, there’s also my new partner and fellow planner L – “your mom was so glad you met a new fella,” my aunt told me the other week.

And there is also my condo on the corner at the Jersey shore where I will spend the summers. I bought this little condo almost five years ago as a place to go to grieve and renew after losing my spouse. The ocean is a special place to stop, to breathe and to be.

NYC is calling me too…will I become a New Yorker again? Maybe yes, maybe no. I am headed that way this weekend, back to the American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference, where last year I won a scholarship for my writing.

The door is closed on my first career, but my second act is ready to launch.

When one door closes, another one opens.

I am officially retired from my 30 year corporate career as of April 30th. It’s time for my second act. I am a blogger and a writer now. I am a consultant too — ready and willing to share all my learning with other companies who may need my communications help.

My champagne glass is full, as is my big bathtub. The 6:00 a.m. alarm clock is in the off position. But I’m keeping the coffee pot brewing so that my coffee is nice and warm when I sit down to read The New York Times
each morning.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, is it Thursday yet? Thursday is the Style Section and the Home Section. How I love them both. Better brew another pot of Joe. Life after 50 is going to be just grand!

Judi

De-Stressing and Saging Away My Negative Energy

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Judi

“You seem to be very tense,” said my esthetician D this afternoon as she prepared to massage my upper body. “Your neck and shoulders are extremely tight. Are you stressed?” she asked.

“I’ve just arrived back from a business trip where I was attending a three day meeting and have been doing a lot of sitting,” I replied.

D put coconut oil on my face and then covered it with a Vitamin C mask. It felt so good. “Relax and calm down,” said D. She put the heating pad under my back and a bolster under my knees.

“I think I need to do some saging,” said D, “to get all the negative energy away that is swirling around you.”

“Really,” I said. “What is saging? I’ve never experienced saging before.”

D took out a dried white sage leaf, lit it and blew out the tip. She took the burning sage which had a fragrant odor and walked around my body several times to release the negative energy. “This may also help you sleep,” said D.

Dried white sage leaves can be used in saging to ward off negative energy.

I felt renewed and refreshed after I left her office. So glad I had decided to make an appointment for a facial. D always gives me sage advice about my skin and now she is saging me too. She even gave me some sage to take home in a little red bag. Now I can sage my house or myself whenever I feel negative energy.

Last week, I learned from a segment on “The Today Show” that April is National Stress Awareness Month. In addition to saging myself to increase my energy there are other things I can do (and so can you) to de-stress. Here are some tips from the NBC reporter:

Exercise can relieve stress. The reporter said that push-ups are a good exercise to build arm strength. I’ve been trying to do my yoga plank pose each morning to see how long I can stay in position. I’m up to about one to two minutes. My yoga teacher N says that Jennifer Aniston got her strong arms doing this pose.

Crying can relieve stress. I’ve been doing quite a bit of this since losing my mom last month. Sometimes I cry at night when I am missing her. I usually tell myself that it’s okay to cry. It’s part of the grieving process.

Bath salts and baths can relieve stress. Ooh, ooh, ooh – I LOVE TO TAKE baths. I mix epsom salts and lavender oil to make my own bath salts. Then I light some candles (and make sure to blow them out when I am done), lay back and relax. (Maybe I should also burn some sage just in case there is any negative energy in my bathroom?)

Swirl around in your desk chair…that’s if your desk chair swirls. Mine does. Here I go…go…go…oops I’m back!

Eat some oranges or put lemon slices in your water. Supposedly, Vitamin C can help lower cortisol levels which contribute to stress in the body. (According to writer Juniper Russo’s post on LiveStrong.com, “The “stress hormone” cortisol enables many important processes within the human body. However, during times of physical or emotional stress, cortisol levels can elevate to unsafe levels, which may lead to a variety of stress-related complications.)

Jump up and down on a big exercise ball or squeeze a stress ball in your hand. I don’t have a big exercise ball at home…will have to get one and put it in my home office near my desk.

How do you de-stress? Do share a tip or two.

Judi

P.S. – Check out The WHOA! Network!, a new website about women honoring our age from two really talented and smart boomer girls, Lynn Forbes and Darryle Pollack.

A Daughter Is A Precious Gift

Posted on April 4, 2013 by Judi

It’s the first week of April. That means my daughter’s birthday is coming up and my daughter A is inching up the age bracket. I won’t tell you her exact age (she wouldn’t want me to). I’ll just tell you that she is twenty-something – somewhere between 25 and 30 years old.

It’s been more than a quarter of a century since A came into my life. I was just about the age she is turning this week when I became pregnant for the first time. I was so excited when she popped out of my belly. “It’s a girl,” said the obstetrician. “You have a daughter.” I was scared too. I became a mom and at times I felt like a child myself. How was I going to take care of a baby girl? (Separately, why don’t babies come with a set of instructions on how to be cared for? Huh? Wish someone would figure out how to do this by now and tweet it out to the world! It would make parenting a whole lot easier.) Would I be able to pass on the family values that my mom (and dad) had passed on to me? Would A and I have the same close bond that my mom and I had from childhood through adulthood?

Looking at the woman A has become, I think I did a pretty good job. (Okay, okay, I must give a huge amount of credit to her dad too. My late husband M was a great dad. He would be so proud of his daughter.) She is a fashionista like me and like her late grandmother P . She is smart and has traveled the world, much more so than I did at her age. She lives in the big city, NYC, just like I did when I was twenty-something. She is on the path to a successful career. I know she will be a CFO one day. Yes she will. She will pursue her aspirations and dreams.

And hopefully one day, yes hopefully one day, she will give birth to a daughter just like I gave birth to her. (Of course, she has time to have a daughter – I am much too young to be a grandma or nana or mom mom yet. Much too young.)

I didn’t know what to get A for her birthday. I’m taking her and her brother D to France next month to celebrate my retirement from my 30+ years of corporate life. That’s her (and D’s) BIG birthday gift this year. However, being the mom that I am, I wanted to get something small, something tiny but special, to celebrate A’s birthday this week.

This book by Marci of Children Of The Inner Light struck a special cord with me as I celebrate my daughter's birthday this week.

As I walked into Whole Foods tonight, I found the perfect gift. It is a book. A book by an author who I never read before. The author is named Marci and the book is called “To My Daughter – Love and Encouragement to Carry With You On Your Journey Through Life.” Marci looks to be a boomer girl like me and her company is called Children of The Inner Light.

I stood at the table at the back of the store and read the entire book before I bought it. Just like the book jacket says, “This book has all the right amount of magic and emotion to let your daughter know the unconditional love you feel for her. It is everything you’ve ever wanted to say to your daughter in a way that will touch her heart as much as she has touched yours.” Marci’s words are so eloquent and her stick figures that accompany the words so cute.

Each paragraph was better than the next. My favorite paragraph was titled “I Just Have One Question…Where Did The Time Go?” It is exactly how I am feeling about my daughter A as she approaches her next birthday and as I look back on her life during my life after 50. Here’s Marci’s answer:

“Wasn’t it just yesterday that you were a baby in my arms? I looked at your precious face and wondered where life would take you. Today, I look at the person you’ve become…strong, kind, thoughtful, caring, and optimistic, and I realize that the dreams I held in my heart for you are alive in your beautiful spirit.”

Happy Birthday A! Happy Birthday To You! I hope you read this book cover to cover just like I did tonight. A daughter is truly a precious gift. Cherish all the words, one page is better than the next.

Judi

P.S. – Congrats to Nancy McMahon on winning the March raffle prize of the “Reader’s Digest The Digest Diet.” The book is coming your way soon. I’ll be reaching out to you via email. Thanks for your comment on the blog post: Staying Fit and Fabulous After 50.

P.S.S. – Be sure to read the press on JudiBoomergirl’s blog featured this week in Harvard Business Review at HBR Blog. Read all the great news about the power of boomer girls. We are a strong and vibrant group of women.

A Tribute To My Mom

Posted on March 17, 2013 by Judi

Tomorrow I will say good-bye to my mom. She passed away this week. She was 91 years old and lived a very full life. But I am sad. Selfishly, I wanted her to live forever…or at least as long as I lived so I could remain a kid without admitting to adulthood.

While I have lots of other BFFs, my mom was definitely my oldest and best BFF. Listening, caring, inspiring, sharing, encouraging and always loving – she was there for me – in good times and bad times.

“What’s up with you? How are the kids?” she asked during what would become our last conversation. “Have you found another job yet?” she questioned, knowing that I am about to retire from my 30+ year career in communications next month.

“I’m retiring mom and I hope to take some time off to relax,” I replied. “Oh, I know you. You won’t be relaxing for too long,” she said. She was right, I have a bucket list a mile long for my second act. She was always right. She knew me well.

My mom brought up my sister N (rt) and I to be strong leaders.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who filled my life with so much passion? I will always remember our summers at the beach – Long Beach, New York – when my sister N and I were growing up. Building sand castles near the water, her dark Bain de Soleil tans, the fireworks on the Fourth of July – she loved summers in Long Beach and so did I. Just a few years ago, when I was preparing to purchase my ‘condo on the corner’ at the Jersey shore, shortly after losing my husband, she was my biggest supporter. Her words of wisdom gave me the courage to take such a big step on my own. “Go for it,” she said. “You’ll enjoy it.” She was right. She was always right. She knew me well.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who instilled a sense of curiosity in my world and a love of education? She saved all the letters from my college days at Cornell — those were the days before computers and cell phones existed – yes, children actually wrote letters to their parents. Each one said, “I’m leaving. I can’t handle the pressure.” Time went on, four years passed, and I graduated. “You see. You did it,” she said proudly as I walked in my cap and gown to receive my diploma. “I knew you could do it.” She was right. She was always right. She knew me well.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who was smart and well-read? My mom could finish the crossword puzzle from the Sunday New York Times Magazine. She would work on the puzzle all week and if she missed one or two words, she would check the answers in the following week’s issue. As for reading, even into her 80s and 90s, she was up-to-date on the latest books, oftentimes recommending good reads from the bestseller list before I had a chance to read them. She was a writer too. When we cleaned out her condo, we found all the poems she had written as a young woman. She was a good writer and she was smart, really smart.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who had style and grace? When I was young I used to play dress up and put on my mom’s pointed toe shoes. She had pointed toe shoes in every color – green satin, pink satin, blue satin, black patent leather – all buried below in boxes in her bedroom closet. Growing up in our small apartment in the Bronx, I so loved to go on our Saturday walks to Fordham Road. On the Grand Concourse was Alexander’s and farther down the street was Loehmann’s. My mom was a fashionista and made me (and my sister N) a fashionista too. (I will miss buying clothes for you mom. But don’t worry – I have made fashionistas of your granddaughter A and your grandson D. And they will carry on the tradition with my future grandchildren. I’ll make sure of that. Yes, I will.)

How do I pay tribute to a mom who brought up her two daughters to be strong leaders? My sister N and I grew up to be successful women because we had an incredible role model for a mom. A Girl Scout leader, a community activist, a working mom, a dutiful daughter, a caring sister and a compassionate wife, even when my dad took ill in his 50s and 60s – my mom took care and rarely complained. She counseled my sister N and I on how to be good moms to our children too.

How do I pay tribute to a mom who knew how to pick good friends and cherish them? She lived the Girl Scout motto, “Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” Up until this week, she maintained nearly weekly conversations with her BFF D, who had moved all the way to Portland, Oregon. They had been friends since grade school. But my mom was also good at making new friends. She was the ultimate networker, “the talk of the town” as she told my sister when she returned to her residence this past week. Everyone knew my mom. “She was such a sweet lady,” said her residence manager N.

My mom was curious and passionate throughout her life, including her 80s and 90s.

My mom was an independent woman up until two years ago. She lived alone, but was resourceful in finding ways to manage – her cooking, her doctors’ appointments, her cleaning. But then she took ill, and my sister N and I knew that she needed more help. Change is difficult for anyone, but we convinced her that it was best for her wellbeing to no longer live by herself.

Again, being the resourceful person that she was, my mom found an assisted living residence that she heard was good. When N and I made the arrangements for her new apartment, which included a roommate S, I felt just like I did when I was sending my kids off to college. Her stay included room and board, showers three times a week, exercise classes, a library, weekly shows and monthly trips. “Will mom survive this big change?” my sister N and I wondered.

Well, well, well – what do you think? Yes? Or no?

I know you guessed correctly. My mom not only survived, she thrived in her new environment. Yes, at 89, 90 and up until the past two months when she took ill, she thrived. We even had to limit her activity fees and her hairdresser appointments. “Mom, slow down,” N and I would say, “We don’t go to the hairdresser as much as you do or have as many mani and pedi treatments.” (We did want her to enjoy herself and looking good is an important part of that – so it was a fine line to draw.)

I’m wearing my pearls today in honor of my mom whose name was Pearl. According to Wikipedia, “The ideal pearl is perfectly round and smooth. The finest quality natural pearls have been highly valued as gemstones and objects of beauty for many centuries, and because of this, the word pearl has become a metaphor for something very rare, fine, admirable, and valuable.”

My mom had all those attributes and more. She was a true gem of a mom and a gem of a person. My world will be forever bright because of her. Her love will always shine with me, as will the memories.

I will miss you…love you mom.

Judi

Staying Fit and Fabulous After 50

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Judi

In recognition of March National Nutrition Month, I asked my BFF and expert dietitian, Laura Sabban MS RD CSR, to provide her views on two diet books that came my way. The books are “The Digest Diet” and “The Digest Diet Cookbook” by Liz Vaccariello, editor-in-chief of Reader’s Digest and coauthor of the bestseller “Flat Belly Diet!” (Note that the PR lady did not send a copy of the “Flat Belly Diet!” which sounds interesting to me since I do not have a flat belly but would really like to know if it is possible to ever have a flat belly again – especially after having two children during my life before 50.)

So what did my BFF Laura have to say about staying fit and fabulous in our fifties? “Selling magazines and diet books making us think it is easy to shed pounds at this age is making people rich. But a lifetime of habit isn’t going to change without some effort and we need to be realistic about what it takes to be able to avoid those elastic-waist pants,” says Laura. (I know Laura, I don’t want to have to only rely on stretch pants as I age.)

In reviewing the books, Laura comments that “The Digest Diet” and its companion cookbook start out saying it will be easy to make huge lifestyle changes. “The author Liz promises that there are magic foods to eat that ‘release fat’, and that you won’t be miserable or hungry because the foods are so satisfying,” says Laura.

“Indeed the recipes are truly interesting and photographed in stunning color. However she promises that you’ll lose an average of 11 pounds in 3 weeks and that you can exercise at your own pace…as long as you follow the diet exactly, do high-intensity interval training (!!!), spend your Sunday afternoon cooking organic foods, give up dessert in favor of ricotta cheese and eat a salad when you (invariably) get hungry.”

(Really, I have to do all that? BTW, I did try the Strawberry Almond Shake during the BlogHer conference book event last summer and it was rather tasty. I sampled the shake made with frozen berries, flaxseed, avocado and cocoa powder. A typical shake includes 16 grams of protein. I also found the new cookbook recipes to be appealing and may try to make a few such as the Chicken Piccata with Capers & Olives and the Herb Crusted Salmon. )

“At 1200 calories a day, even with no magic foods, almost anyone can lose weight,” Laura adds. “The science presented isn’t always great but overall, the book does advocate a balanced, healthy approach to dieting and will work for the motivated. The 12 people who ‘tested’ the plan seemed to like it. But I think that boomer women don’t want to spend much time cooking anymore, won’t join a gym if they haven’t already and want to have dessert more than once a week.” (Hmm, hmm, hmm. Laura you are my BFF and I do agree that boomer girls don’t want to spend extra time in the kitchen, but I do know many boomer girls who like to work out at the gym including your BFF.)

Laura is my BFF and a very smart registered dietitian.

As a special guest blogger, Laura provided these simple tips to help boomer girls stay fit and fabulous:

- Firstly, eat three reasonable meals a day. Don’t go more than 5 hours without eating something. Yes, it has to do with insulin levels, but there’s no point in making it more complicated than that. (I agree – breakfast, lunch and dinner – I try not to miss a meal.)

- Second, eat vegetables and fresh fruit as often as you can. No one ever got fat from eating too much fruit. (I’m glad I love fruit – blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, apples, oranges, pears, grapes.)

- Thirdly, choose lower fat dairy products. We eat too much rich cheese on everything. (I really like the Sargento Reduced Fat Cheeses. You can buy slices or shredded varieties.)

- Fourthly, take a walk every day, weather permitting. Or find another way to keep moving that feels comfortable. It’s also a mood lifter. (Walking does it for me – oh where is that pedometer?)

- And lastly, every day reward yourself with something yummy of about 100 calories—1/2 oz. of chocolate, a small yogurt, a tablespoon of peanut butter on celery, or a snack bag of crackers or cookies. Sometimes just knowing a treat awaits you later makes it easier to hold out against indulging too much earlier in the day. (My treat of the day has to be dark chocolate – my boyfriend L has converted me – it’s the best.)

“Common sense may not be sexy, but it’s all one really needs,” adds Laura.

Now you see why Laura is my BFF? She is so smart!

If you would like to be entered into the raffle to win a copy of “The Digest Diet,” leave a comment on my blog about how you stay fit and fabulous during your life after 50. Or “like” Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or “follow” judiboomergirl on Twitter and leave your comment there. Deadline for entry is March 31, 2013.

Judi

A Caregiver Needs Body Care Too

Posted on March 4, 2013 by Judi

Last week in yoga class my Zen card said “body care.” I wondered if it was trying to tell me something. Am I not listening to the signs of stress that are all around me? As a member of the sandwich generation, worrying about my adult kids (I’m a mom I have to worry about my kids even if they are all grown up) and worrying about my elderly mom (who has been ill since the new year), I often forget to give my own body the “body care” it needs.

Not sleeping enough, not eating the right foods, not taking time to slow down and relax. Running, running, running. “Must squeeze all my exercise into the weekend,” I told my body last Saturday. “Think I will do it all – yoga, bicycling, walking, running, lifting weights.” My body did not react well – it fought back with aches and pains.

This week I listened to an online chat with Dr. John Whyte, author of AARP New American Diet: Lose Weight, Live Longer. Dr. Whyte provided some helpful tips on ways busy caregivers can take better care of themselves. Here’s some of Dr. Whyte’s advice:

- Dr. Whyte says that “people who walk more throughout life have greater brain volume than those who walk less.” He says that “there are approximately 2000 steps in one mile and that most active people average about 2000 steps a day.” (I consider myself an active person but I don’t know if I am walking a mile a day. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I think I will take that old pedometer out of my junk drawer tomorrow and see if I am walking 2000 steps.)

- Dr. Whyte says that “our basal metabolic rate (BMR), basically our internal furnace, slows down as we age.” That’s why we can gain weight more easily. He says that to balance our BMR we either need to eat less or exercise more. (I vote for the exercise – but I must stop being a weekend athlete and improve my fitness management.)

- Dr. Whyte says that “foods from the Mediterranean diet are some of the best foods to eat such as: fish for heart health” (yep, I eat fish at least 2-3 times a week); blueberries – Dr. Whyte says that “these berries are packed with powerful antioxidants to keep the blood vessels in our heart and brain healthy” (yep, I eat organic blueberries every day for lunch with my yogurt); ”nuts in moderation” (yep, I sprinkle walnuts on my salad); and “drink more water” (yep, I carry my water bottle to work each day).

- Dr, Whyte says that “it is not surprising that added stress can cause weight gain.” He says that “It is often related to the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that usually can be very helpful. It provides glucose to the body for energy when there is a stressful situation that requires you to have more energy or to be more alert. However, chronic stress will cause cortisol levels to be high chronically and this is not a good thing for your body.”

Dr. Whyte says that “In this situation, the elevated cortisol levels cause high blood sugar which will cause a series of other reactions which will cause you to store fat as well as hold onto it, making it very difficult to shed the pounds.”

My cortisol levels are definitely elevated of late – juggling full-time work events and readying my second career as a writer and blogger post retirement, refinancing my “condo on the corner at the shore,” managing my mom’s health concerns and caregiving from afar – she is in Flo-ree-da and my sister N and I are in NJ and NY…and how can I forget all the paperwork involved with preparing my 2012 taxes for the accountant this month.

I must take heed and listen to my Zen card. If I don’t take my “body care” seriously no one else will…and I want my body to stay healthy during my life after 50.

So,so, so, tonight I am going to enjoy a nutrient rich dinner with my boyfriend L. What’s on the menu? Glad you asked. We’ll start with a nice green salad with a few Greek black olives and sprinkling of walnuts, followed by baked salmon topped with hickory barbecue sauce and accompanied by a beta-carotene rich sweet potato. If we have dessert it will surely be dark chocolate.

Then I am going to relax and listen to the wonderful music of Deva Premal & Miten as their spiritual chants lull me to sleep.

While I am a member of AARP’s Kitchen Cabinet on Caregiving, note that all opinions are my own. I encourage all those who are caregivers to check out the AARP Caregiving Resource Center for more helpful tips. It truly is a wonderful resource, especially for those who are new to caregiving.

Judi

Cheers To A Healthy Heart After 50

Posted on February 26, 2013 by Judi

I would be remiss if I did not have a “heart to heart” conversation with you this month about keeping your heart healthy. Yes, boomer girls, I’m talking to you. Have you had your cholesterol checked lately? If not, this month is a great time to get your lab work done. February is National Heart Month and there are few more days left in the month.

I had my cholesterol checked since I was having issues with the new statin drug Crestor that my cardiologist had given me awhile ago. I was only taking about 3 pills a week at the time but my muscles began to ache around my knees and hips. I thought it was from exercising, but it turned out that even with a very small dosage my body was not welcoming any form of statin.

“What should I do?” I asked my doctor at the time. “There’s nothing more we can try. Just go off everything for now and let’s retest in a few months,” said my cardiologist Dr. P.

My general practitioner Dr. S reviewed my most recent lab results during my wellness check up:

Cholesterol 241 mg/dL – that’s high according to the American Heart Association (AHA) charts. (Uh oh! Oh no! That’s bad.)

HDL 92 mg – Let’s see, the AHA website says that “high HDL cholesterol 60 mg/dL and above is considered protective against heart disease. (Yeah, that’s good.)

Triglycerides 64 mg/dL – AHA says less than 100 mg/dL is optimal. (Wahoo! I’m really doing good with my triglycerides.)

LDL 136 mg/dL – AHA says 130 to 159 mg/dL is borderline high. (Uh oh! Oh no! That’s bad.)

So I have two good numbers and two bad numbers. What should I do? What should I do?

“Your profile isn’t that bad. And your glucose is 87 mg/dL so you are not diabetic” said Dr. S. “Keep taking your fish oil, watch your diet and keep exercising. We’ll check your cholesterol again in a few months.”

I felt a bit better after my visit to Dr. S. I was glad that I had my labs done and am feeling much better – no more aches since I went off the statin drug. I will visit my cardiologist as well next month for my annual heart health checkup.

In the winter issue of the Cooper Hospital Health Connection, Cooper cardiologists report that the symptoms that can signal a heart attack can be different for women versus men. Symptoms for women include:

- Indigestion, nausea

- Burning in chest

- Pain radiating to back, jaw and shoulders

- Dizziness

- Onset sudden, overwhelming fatigue

I also went and bought a jar of aspirin to have in the house just in case I ever have symptoms of a heart attack and need to chew an aspirin while I dial 911.

The New York Times journalist Annahad O’Connor writes in her article “Really? During a Heart Attack, Dial 911 and Chew an Aspirin?” that “Some people may suspect that chewing an aspirin, which inhibits platelet activity that could block arteries during an attack, makes little difference. But a study in The American Journal of Cardiology highlighted its importance. In a group of 12 subjects tested in a laboratory, chewing an aspirin tablet for 30 seconds before swallowing on an empty stomach prompted a 50 percent reduction in platelet activity in five minutes. It took 12 minutes to achieve the same effect when the aspirin was swallowed whole.”

O’Connor further writes that “Dr. Noel Bairey Merz, director of the Barbra Streisand Women’s Heart Center at the Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles, said people who suspect they are having an attack should chew one full-strength tablet, which is 325 milligrams. But most important, she added, is to “get to an emergency room.” (I hear you Dr. Merz and I will listen if this ever happens to me…and thank you Barbara Streisand for all you do for women’s heart health…oh yes, and you sang a beautiful tribute to Marvin Hamlisch at the Oscars last night, my favorite song “Memories.”)

I hope to keep my baby boomer heart beating healthfully during my life after 50. Better not eat too many pieces of blueberry pie – instead I’ll try to enjoy my blueberries with a little non-fat frozen yogurt .

Cheers to heart health. How are you keeping your cholesterol down? Do please share a tip or two.

Judi

P.S. – Note if you are receiving my posts via email subscription and would like to leave a comment, just click on my name and it will take you to my blog and you can leave a comment.

Boomer Girl Beauty Problems

Posted on February 17, 2013 by Judi

My friends at Boombox Network sent along some findings from their recent Beauty Survey that I thought I would share and provide commentary on. Their simple infographic below tells the story about the “beauty problems that bother boomer women most.”

Here’s what the beauty survey found:

And here is my commentary:

Hair color: I agree. I not only color my gray away but add highlights for extra body and fullness. I consider hair one of my most important accessories that I wear every day. It is so worth the extra cost to keep it fluffy during my life after 50. BTW, I’ve started to massage a little bit of Macadamia or Moroccan Oil on my hair and scalp after I wash it and find that the oil keeps my hair and scalp nice and moist during the dry winter months.

Skin texture: I’m lucky that my skin is clear and free of acne (most of the time). My daily skin regimen includes Murad Renewing Cleansing Cream (compliments from last summer’s Boombox blogger party) with my Clarisonic Mia skin cleansing brush (compliments from the nice Clarisonic PR lady who I met last fall at the FOF Beauty Bash) and then I top off with L’Oreal Youth Code Day Night Cream Moisturizer (which I had to purchase myself – but I like the texture), followed by my Bobbi Brown Moisturizing Foundation with SPF in the winter and Skinceuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense SPF 50 during the summer to protect my skin.

Uneven skin tone and aging spots: Uh yeah! Uh yeah! I have lots of aging spots. Wish I could get rid of those aging spots. My esthetician D says to stay out of the sun or be sure to use sunscreen to keep aging spots away. I don’t know if I can do that since I love my condo on the corner at the beach and plan to spend more time there this summer once I am semi-retired. I’ve tried multiple lightening creams but have not found one that really works.

Yellowing teeth: Yes, yes, yes. I drink too much tea that stains my teeth. I did try whitening my teeth a few years ago. Will have to try those new Crest Whitening Strips that I read about – perhaps they will make my teeth whiter.

Facial hair: My 91 year old mom asked my sister N to get her a small facial shaver that she saw in an infomercial the other day while watching TV. “I use one of those small facial shavers to clear my mustache before I bleach since I find that waxing irritates my skin,” I told my mom. “It works great.”

Dark circles: According to Shelley Levitt’s feature on WebMD, “With age, the skin around the eye thins, exposing the tiny blood vessels that lie just below.” To cover up dark circles I use Smashbox Camera Ready Concealer and put it on like the makeup artists suggest — “Lightly pat the concealer on from the inner corner of your eye to just past the outer corner.”

Shelley writes that dermatologist Valerie Goldburt, MD, PhD, of NYU Langone Medical Center suggests these four things to help keep your eyes looking youthful:

1. Don’t smoke, and always apply a sunscreen around the eye area.

2. Apply a moisturizer to the eye area nightly.

3. Add a prescription retinoic acid — the vitamin A cream that goes by the generic name tretinoin – to your daily skin care regimen. “It’s the single best thing you can use to prevent wrinkles and improve existing lines,”

4. To calm puffy eyes, place cold spoons, slices of cucumbers, chilled tea bags, or even a package of frozen peas under your eyes. The cool temperatures reduce swelling.

Forehead wrinkles and lines around lips: I have lots of wrinkles and lines and lines and wrinkles. That’s why when Olga from Arbo Labs contacted me to offer me a sample of their new line of ArboRX natural moisturizers and serums I said “absolutely, send samples my way and I will try them out.” Olga says that “As we age, skin loses it’s natural firmness and elasticity, and new skin cells take longer to regenerate. Mature skin needs more specialized skin care products to address dull and uneven tone, fine lines and wrinkles, and dry complexion.” I just put the new ArboRX serum, moisturizer and emulsion on my face last night. Haven’t seen any wrinkles disappear yet, but it is too early to tell…will let you know in a future beauty post. However, you know, you know, you know…this boomer girl will try anything that promises to get rid of her wrinkles, even if it is only one or two lines.

So what beauty problems bother you during your life after 50? Do you have any beauty products you especially like or beauty secrets to share? Do tell. Do tell.

Judi

P.S. – Thanks to all my readers who left comments on my Valentine’s Day blog post. Congrats to Allison, who is the winner of the Valentine’s Day raffle prize of a box of Godiva Dark Chocolate.

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger. Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a finalist for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’ Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

Hillary Clinton and Me…Retiring? Not Really!

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Judi

I loved, loved, loved Gail Collin’s Op-Ed in the New York Times today. “Take A Bow, H.C.” was the title and it was all about Hillary Clinton and her retirement from her role as Secretary of State. Like Gail, I’ve followed Hillary’s career from First Lady, to Senator of New York, to her run for President (I voted for H.C. in the primary and wanted her to win), to Secretary of State these past four years. What a mentor she has been to boomer girls like me.

“Women of Clinton’s generation have a special bond with her because she encapsulates their story. She spoke for their rebel youth at her Wellesley graduation, demanding ‘a more immediate, ecstatic, and penetrating mode of living’ than the older generation ever knew,” says Gail.

While I am 10 years younger than Hillary, I too feel a special bond with H.C, as Gail calls her. After all, like Hillary, I am also retiring from my executive job in 2013. Though I may not have visited as many countries or tracked as many miles, or conducted as many meetings as Hillary, I do feel a sense of accomplishment after raising two wonderful children, being a devoted wife for 24 years, and climbing the corporate ladder for 35+ years almost 30 of those years with my current employer. (Time out, I’ll have to do a recount because if I add up all the meetings I have attended or produced in my career they may equal Hillary’s list. Okay, maybe not, since Gail says Hillary had 1,700 meetings with world leaders the past four years. You win Hillary. You win.)

“So it’s understandable that people are questioning how long the resting part of her future will last,” writes Gail. Is she really retiring at 65? Being a Type A person like Hillary, I know she will not rest for long and nor will I.

“It sounds like you are going to be busier in your retirement than you are now,” said my friends J and D this weekend as we gathered around my kitchen table for a leisurely brunch. I told them all the things I wanted to do in my second act – write a memoir, continue my blogging, study yoga, grow a garden full of flowers, learn how to make gelato, take writing courses, teach blogging classes, start sewing again, try spinning at the gym, volunteer for a non-profit board, read books, read magazines (the same month I get them), go to AARP and BlogHer conferences, learn how to use all the features on my Macbook computer, iPhone and iPad, see my friends and family, do more cooking, spend more time with my boyfriend L, visit my mom in Flo-ree-da. Maybe get some part-time consulting jobs. Travel to France with my adult kids A and D. (Ooh, ooh, ooh, our trip is all booked. I’m so excited. We’re going to Paris to eat croissants, Provence to smell the lavender and Nice for the beach.) If I survive my trip to France and have any money left, maybe I’ll travel to other countries as well.

I’ve been working on my transformation for the past five years since losing my husband M. I’m a different person than I was five years ago. I’m ready for a second act (and maybe even a third in my lifetime) and in a few months a new act will be ready for me.

Hey Hillary, thank you for all you’ve done for our country. Listen, if you want to run for President after you take a little nap, let me know. I’m sure I can find some extra time to help you with your campaign. From one Type A boomer girl to another…you can count on me.

Hillary Clinton and me…retiring? Not really.

Judi

P.S. Please take time out to vote for your favorite boomer blogger. Tell your friends to vote too. My blog is a nominee for SeniorHomes.com Best Senior Living Award for ‘best boomer resources.’ Click here to vote. Deadline is February 18th.

P.S. again. Watch next week for my special Valentine’s Day promotion. How are you loving yourself more in 2013? Share your comments and you may win a box of Godiva chocolates. Stay tuned.