Monthly Archives: January 2013

Retiring Early: What I Learned In My First Six Months

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This week, I am  pleased to present a guest post from a fellow boomer girl and one of my blog readers. Her name is Moira and she recently retired. Moira’s words of wisdom about the wonderful discoveries and exciting explorations during this special time in her life have helped ease my Type A jitters as I begin to think about my own early retirement. Yes, I will be leaving my corporate career this spring. There are so many new opportunities  to experience. I can’t wait. Thank you Moira for sharing your inspiring story:

Moira Donoghue

I am 60 and I am enjoying my seventh fire of the winter – sitting in a comfortable chair, accompanied by a good book, a glass of sherry and a warm and gentle kitten by my side. Why is it significant that this is my seventh fire of the winter? And that I just restocked my firewood supply for the first time in years? For me, enjoying this many long evenings in front of a fire, just half way through the winter, is one of the symbols of what I have learned in my first few months as a retired woman.

I retired in May from a 36-year professional career. It was a career that brought great satisfaction, time with amazing people and interesting travel. But it was a career that also brought a deep weariness and a nagging frustration that my life had narrowed. There was never enough time to read in front of my fireplace or even buy firewood.

Moira enjoys time by the fireplace with her kitten.

Writing this guest post has forced me to clarify my thoughts about retirement.  Here’s what I’ve learned in this short time:

Deciding to retire is one decision; how to “be retired” is an entirely different one. Deciding to retire is all about finances, shedding a work persona, and saying goodbye to colleagues. I was unable to get to the decision to retire until I put on hold the decisions about how I would spend my time after retirement. For me, deciding to retire needed its own focus.  Realizing I had confused two distinct decisions got me unstuck and I was able to give the decision to retire the full attention it deserved.

I needed a period of transition to understand how to “be retired”. When I started talking about retirement, some friends advised not to retire without knowing exactly how I would spend my time. “Don’t fall off that cliff”, they warned. Others said I wouldn’t know what I wanted to do until I was retired – which turned out to be true for me. I needed time to disconnect. To meet new people. To test out new interests, some lurking for years on the sidelines. To sleep late and take naps. To let my mind wander. To “Google” every thread of interest I could uncover to see where it led. (In fact, that’s how I found Judi’s blog). Such time for exploration isn’t right for everyone but it was right for me. I am now settling into some choices, which feel good because I took the time to explore.

The real joy of retirement is the luxury of time. My sweetest lesson has been that retirement is really about having the time to do exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it. I can’t overstate how important this point is. I am making the choices that give me the great happiness because they truly are my first choices.

I still possess a valuable collection of skills.  All this exploration over the last few months has also shown me that the skills I developed over my worklife can be put to valuable use in new and sometimes unexpected ways. To help others. To learn. To have fun. It was real work to separate from my work persona, but I see now that I have not lost any of my skills just because I stopped working. Funny that it took me awhile to understand that.

Negative thoughts happen; they just do.  Do I really have enough in savings? Why have I started thinking of myself as “old”? If I am not working, am I still valuable? Why am I calling retirement my “final chapter”?  Will I be bored? Apologies for the drama, but these are real fears that creep into my thoughts at the oddest times. For a few months, they were pretty unsettling. I finally just decided they aren’t useful so I trained myself to dismiss them when they creep in. And they do. They are part – a small part – of the big change I am still experiencing.

So with the benefit of several months of self-reflection, I now find myself more comfortable than ever about my decision to retire and how to “be retired.”  I am happier here in my first year of retirement than I ever expected to be.  When the time is right for you, I wish you all the same joy, and ultimately, clarity.

I hope you enjoyed Moira’s guest post. Let me know if you have a story about your life after 50 that you would like to share with fellow boomer girls. Would you like to write a guest post?  Send along a note or leave a comment.

Judi

Staying Healthy During Middle Age

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After turning 55 last week, I can no longer check off the 45 – 54 box when I’m asked my age. And I’m no longer part of the standard 28 -54 female advertising target. Yep,  I’m inching up the ladder of my life after 50. I’m smack in the middle with a growing middle-age middle.

There are some benefits. For example, at 55, my local theater ranks me as a senior so I can get a discount at the movies. My boyfriend L and I usually go to the early bird shows.  We cannot stay up for any late shows.

I did watch Jodie Foster celebrate her five decades of film and shout out “I’m 50, I’m 50″ at the Golden Globes this past Sunday. I’m glad she is proud to say she is 50, but I think she is too young to be recognized for a lifetime achievement award. She’s not done yet, even if she claims to be hanging up the towel. Doesn’t she know that the best part of her life is yet to come? (BTW, Jodie did look fabulous in her sleeveless Armani gown. No batwings for her.)

I made a promise to myself this year that I am going to love myself more. If you read my previous post “Plunging Into The New Year,” you know that if you love yourself more, you can love others even more.

So how am I going to take better care of myself in 2013? For starters, I’m going to listen to the tips that Dr. Oz offers up in the January issue of The Oprah Magazine. Dr. Oz says that in my 50s I should “take a few preventive measures to ensure my well-being for another half-century.”  I like his tips.  In fact, I already practice his advice:

  • Give It Your Om: Dr. Oz is a huge fan of yoga at any age. (So am moi. So am moi.) He reports that “a 2012 study in the journal Menopause found that it’s particularly beneficial for postmenopausal women coping with insomnia. (Moi. Moi.)  If you are not sleeping well, Dr. Oz suggests trying the Child’s Pose and Bridge Pose. (Since I am a practicing yogi, I am going to try these two poses tonight before I go to sleep…or try to go to sleep.  Ooh, ooh, ooh, according to an article in The New York Times – A Moment of Zen, on the Go - a study released by Yoga Journal – which moi is a subscriber – “the number of Americans practicing yoga jumped 29 percent to 20.4 million – or 8.7 percent of American adults – since the previous study in 2008, when 15.8 million practiced. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I keep up with the trends. Yes I do.)
  • Bulk Up On B’s: Dr. Oz says that “the same vitamins that keep your energy up also lower your body’s levels of homocysteine, an amino acid that may be linked to hardening of the arteries. He says to get your daily allowance of B6 (1.5 milligrams), B12 (2.4 micrograms), and folate (400 micrograms) from your diet. Let’s see, I can get B6 from sweet potatoes (yum, yum, yum) and B12 from the low-fat mozzarella cheese that I add to my pizza. Plus, I get folate from spinach and beets. (I especially like roasted beets. They are a very trendy vegetable and look very pretty as a sidedish or in a salad. In fact, even better are sauteed beet greens. Have you ever tried them?) I also eat fortified cereal for breakfast which is full of B vitamins.
  • Avoid Overdoing The Booze: I’m not a big drinker, but I do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner most evenings. Ooh, Dr. Oz says that while “a drink a day may keep the doctor away by reducing your risk of heart disease and stroke, excessive alcohol consumption increases the risk of developing various cancers.
  • Get Screened For Colon Cancer: Dr. Oz says “more than 90 percent of all colon cancer cases are diagnosed in people age 50 and over. He says that he “had a precancerous polyp just after his 50th birthday. (I hear you Dr. Oz. With a history of IBS – Irritable Bowl Syndrome – I definitely need to be screened. I’m already on the case with a scheduled appointment for February. Ooh, ooh, ooh, that prep is the worst. Maybe one day the prep will include chocolate ice cream instead of Gatorade and Miralax.)

Dr. Oz provided tips for “Your 60s and Beyond.” However, I have another five years to go before I reach that age. I think I’ll just work on these four areas first.

How are you loving yourself more this year?  Do share a tip or two.

Judi

Plunging Into The New Year

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Happy new year!  I haven’t made any resolutions for the new year. Like a good yogi, I made intentions. In 2013, I intend to reinvent myself. Yes, this is the year that I am retiring from my corporate job and reinventing my life after 50.

I did what my yoga teacher N said to do last week. I spent my time in recapitulation. I wrote down all the good things that happened in 2012 including my daughter A’s promotion at her job, my son D’s college graduation  – yeah, yeah, yeah — plus D’s new job — double yeah, yeah, yeah — and my blog recognition by The Huffington Post as one of their “7 Favorite Blogs For Women Post 50” — final yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote down the things that didn’t go so well in the world, such as Hurricane Sandy and the terrible tragedies in Newtown, Ct (tears welled up in my eyes again). Then I ripped up the list, just as N said to do. I cannot change the good things or the bad. 2012 is over.

Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge

On New Year’s Day, my boyfriend L and I attended the Brigantine Polar Bear Plunge. When the clock struck noon, we celebrated as those around us took off their costumes and jumped into the icy cold waters. “The ocean is warm,” said the master of ceremonies. “It is 50 degrees. Warmer than it is on the beach.” Unlike those adventurous souls who made a big splash, L and I decided to stay on the dry side and just offer good cheers. “Maybe next year I will be more courageous,” I said. “Maybe next year.”

Yesterday, my yoga teacher P told us that the greatest gift we can give ourselves in 2013 is to love ourselves more. “If you love yourself and take care of yourself, you can love others more,” P said. I decided to take P’s advice and not push any of my asanas too far. In 2013, I am going to listen to my body, my mind, and my spirit, and love myself more. I’m going to add the word “no” to my vocabulary. “It’s not a selfish thing to do,” P said.

How will I change this coming year? What new opportunities will come my way? According to John Tierney’s recent article and video from the New York Times, “You Won’t Stay the Same, Study Finds,” new research reports that “When we remember our past selves, they seem quite different. We know how much our personalities and tastes have changed over the years. But when we look ahead, somehow we expect ourselves to stay the same.”

John writes that in the findings published in the journal Science, “Participants were asked about their personality traits and preferences in years past and present and then asked to make predictions for the future. Not surprisingly, the younger people in the study reported more change in the previous decade than did the older respondents.  But when asked to predict what their personalities and tastes would be like in 10 years, people of all ages consistently played down the potential changes ahead.”

This week I will turn 55. As I look back on the past five years, I truly have made some amazing changes in my life. How much will I change during the next five to 10 years? I’m looking forward to growing and evolving even more during my life after 50. I’m ready to take the plunge. How about you? Will you join me? How will you change during your life after 50? Where are you going to start? What are your intentions for the next 359 days — please do share with a comment or two.

Judi