Yearly Archives: 2012

Breaking Bread With Those I Love

Posted on by
5

The nest was full this week with my two adult children, my daughter A and my son D as they arrived from the big city to visit with me in the suburbs. I was so pleased to have them home…to enjoy their company and to “break bread” with those I love.

“What’s on the menu?” asked A. “What are you cooking?”

Sweet Potatoes with Pecans and Goat Cheese from the Smitten Kitchen Blog

“Saturday is chili, Sunday is spinach pie, Monday is BBQ salmon with a new sweet potato side dish from the Smitten Kitchen blog,” I replied. I made sure that my fridge was filled with food and my cupboard adequately stacked with snacks. “There’s a whole half-pound of American cheese just for D,” I said, so pleased that I remembered to stop by the deli counter when I was grocery shopping. D likes to have American cheese on his bagels for breakfast.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Playing “where did all the water glasses go” each day. I knew where to find them – buried in different spots in D’s room.

It felt good to be mom for a week. A and I went shopping to Nordstrom to check out the new styles from the pre-spring catalog. “Do you want to share the ‘girlfriends’ dressing’ room?” asked the saleswoman J. “Ooh, ooh, ooh, there is a girlfriends’ dressing room. Wow-o-wow. Of course A and I want to share the girlfriends’ dressing room,” I said. It was big enough for two – mother and daughter.

It felt good to be mom for a week. Giving lots of hugs and kisses to A and D and sending them to bed each night with a round of “I love you’s,” just like we used to do when they were young. “I love you too,” said A and D before bedtime.

It felt good to be mom for a week. We cuddled on the couch and caught up on some movies we had missed – Brave and Ruby Sparks – two cute flicks. “How can you possibly watch a Pixar movie (Brave) without a Blu-Ray player?” said D. “I cannot believe you don’t have a Blu-Ray player. You know you eventually will not be able to watch DVDs in the future if you don’t get a Blu-Ray player,” said D. “Really?” I said showing my boomer girl technological ignorance.

The Terrain Cafe in Glen Mills, Pa

It felt good to be mom for a week. I took A and D out to lunch at the Terrain cafe, located in my favorite home and garden shop in Glen Mills, Pa. We each picked a different entree – goat cheese omelet for me, braised short rib sandwich for A and portabella mushroom  sandwich for D. A also ordered the special snickerdoodle latte which was oh so sweet with a scent of fresh vanilla. And we all adored breaking (and eating) the warm bread that had been baked in a clay flowerpot and sharing the cinnamon apple cobbler dessert from a mini-iron skillet.

“I’m so lucky to have a mom like you,” said A. “You introduced us to the joy of good food, you taught us to love trendy fashions, and you encouraged us to travel and learn about the world.” “I’m so lucky to have two great kids who I can enjoy good food with, who I can shop till I drop with, and who want to travel with me to Paris and Provence” I said. “I cannot think of better partners to celebrate my retirement trip with this summer – c’est merveilleux!”

We left the Terrain cafe and headed home. It was hailing and heavy rain. D drove as I navigated – being a good mom, I reminded D several times to be careful and go slow. There was only one detour left on our trip – a stop at the electronics store to purchase a Blu-Ray player. “I will only buy a Blu-Ray player if you will set it up before you go back to the big city,” I said. “Don’t I always?” D responded.

Yes, it felt good to be mom for a week and break bread with those I love. And now I also have a brand new Blu-Ray player so I can watch Blu-Ray movies. Ooh, ooh, ooh, now I can rent The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel at Redbox. They only had a Blu-Ray copy the last time I was at the store – c’est merveilleux!

Uh oh, uh oh. I forgot to ask D to show me how the Blu-Ray player works.

Judi

Five Years And Counting

Posted on by
4

“Your husband is a very sick man,” said the doctor at the long-term acute care facility. “He cannot breathe on his own. Do you want to put him back on life support? He will not live much longer. Does your husband have a living will?”

These words were uttered to me five years ago tonight – December 17, 2007. I remember these words like it was yesterday. I felt a weight on my shoulder, yet I could not let M suffer any longer. I could not let my family suffer either. It was time to say good-bye. (M passed away the next day.)

I drove home that evening in a misty fog, just like the rain outside tonight. It was a Monday evening and as the wipers swished back and forth, Alicia Keys’ hit song “No One” played on the radio and I sang along:

“You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don’t worry ’cause
Everything’s gonna be alright

And no one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I’m feeling
No one, no one, no one
Can get in the way of what I feel
For you, you, you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain”

“No One,” became the top song on my playlist that day and the days and months that followed as I mourned the loss of my husband M and did my best to comfort our two children, my daughter A and my son D.

Heartfelt Memories: Today I wore the gold heart necklace that my late husband M gave me on our first Valentine's Day together.

It is five years and counting. Today I laid a stone on my late husband’s gravesite as I’ve done each December since his death. This year, it is a special stone. It is a big silver and gray stone that I’ve had since I went to the Miraval Spa during my first year as a widow. It is my special stone that has kept me strong all these years. It is my rock. My big rock that I now no longer need to squeeze when I am fearful.

I am a lot stronger and courageous than I was five years ago. I am a student of yoga and mindfulness. I am grateful for my marriage of 24+ years. I am grateful for the two incredible children that M and I brought into this world and for the fantastic adults they have become — in many ways because of the love and nurturing that their dad provided to them. I am thankful for my terrific family, my many good friends and the love of my new partner L.

Oprah says that “You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots.”

It’s five years and counting. There’s a new Alicia Keys’ song on my playlist. It’s called “Girl On Fire” and I think it fits the way I’m feeling now. Yes, I’m getting stronger every day. I think you’ll like this song too. Sing the chorus with me…

“She’s just a girl, and she’s on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, longer like a highway
She’s living in a world, and it’s on fire
Feeling the catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away

Oh, she got both feet on the ground
And she’s burning it down
Oh, she got her head in the clouds
And she’s not backing down

This girl is on fire
This girl is on fire
She’s walking on fire
This girl is on fire”

See what I mean?  Don’t you feel stronger now?  I do.

Judi

P.S. – As I honor my late husband M, I grieve for all the families in Newtown, Conn., who lost their loved ones and especially their children in the violence that overtook that town last week. My sympathies go out to all and I wish them strength in the coming days, months and years to come.

A Healthier Hanukah With Low-Fat Latkes

Posted on by
Reply

This week, I’m participating in A Healthier Holiday Table sponsored by the American Cancer Society to help raise awareness about healthier eating – an important preventive measure to fighting cancer. I was saddened this week to hear about two friend’s relatives who were recently diagnosed with cancer. My heart goes out to them and I hope they get well soon.

In preparation for Hanukah, which starts this Saturday evening, I’m sharing my favorite recipe for Low-Fat Latkes. This recipe appeared in the New York Times in 1999. (I can’t believe that I’ve been making these latkes for more than 10 years.) Similar to their creator, food writer Steven Raichlen, I too have to watch my fat and cholesterol intake, during my life after 50. That’s why I especially like these latkes which are baked, not fried, and are made with egg substitute or egg whites. I use low-fat sour cream and unsweetened applesauce as healthier toppings too.

One of the other good things about this recipe is that it creates a lot less mess and grease than when you make fried latkes. The secret is to get the baking sheets really hot and coat them with oil before placing the potato mixture on the sheets. That way the latkes come out nice and crispy. Olive oil is used as a healthier fat alternative.

Steven says you can also make sweet potato latkes this way. I decided to try half sweet potato and half Yukon gold potato latkes this year. Unfortunately, my sweet potato latkes stuck to the pan and came out more like sweet potato hash. I am definitely going to keep to the Yukon gold potatoes in the future. But it was worth the try since sweet potatoes are so full of Vitamin A.  According to the American Institute for Cancer Research, eating red-orange fruits and vegetables such as cantaloupe and sweet potatoes provide protection against mouth cancers.

So dear boomer girls, here’s the Low-Fat Latke recipe. I hope you try them and let me know how your latkes turn out. This recipe may become part of your Healthier Holiday Table for years to come. Remember to keep eating your fruits and veggies. Did you know that eating lots of fruits and veggies can help reduce your cancer risk? The American Cancer Society recommends eating at least 2-1/2 cups of vegetables and fruits each day. (I try to follow this suggestion each day – Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness Smoothie is on my breakfast menu, an apple, orange or pear for dessert for lunch, and a big salad for dinner, plus I make baked sweet potatoes often, especially during the winter months.)

Low-Fat Latkes (Time: 30 minutes)

(Recipe by Steve Raichlen, New York Times)

  • 3 pounds Yukon gold potatoes
  • 1 medium onion
  • 1/2 cup matzoh meal or unbleached white flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon matzoh meal or unbleached white flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 cup egg substitute, or 2 eggs plus 4 whites
  • 3 tablespoons chopped parsley
  • Kosher salt and ground black pepper
  • Olive oil spray
  • No-fat or low-fat sour cream (optional)
  • Applesauce (optional)
  1. Place large nonstick baking sheet in oven and preheat to 450 degrees. Peel potatoes and onion, and coarsely grate. Squeeze handfuls of grated vegetables tightly to wring out as much liquid as possible.
  2. Transfer vegetables to mixing bowl, and stir in matzoh meal, baking powder, egg substitute, parsley and plenty of salt and pepper. Latkes should be highly seasoned.
  3. Spray baking sheet with oil. (I use a pastry brush to baste the oil on the pan.) Spoon small mounds of potato mixture onto sheet to form pancakes 2-1/2 inches in diameter. Leave 1 inch between each. (I made my pancakes a bit larger and find that they maintain their shape better.)
  4. Bake-fry latkes until bottoms are golden brown, for 8 to 10 minutes. Spray tops of latkes with oil. Turn them, and cook until tops are golden brown. Repeat with remaining dough. Serve at once with sour cream or applesauce.
The recipe says that the yield is 50 to 60 latkes; 8 to 10 servings. I made larger latkes and there were only three of us at the dinner table – me, my boyfriend L and my son D. We ate them all. Not a shred of potato was left in the serving dish.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Don’t forget to sing the Dreidel song afterwards. Have a Happy Hanukah!
Judi

 

My 15 Minutes of Fame

Posted on by
12

The great artist Andy Warhol once said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for 15 minutes.” Yesterday, I had my 15 minutes of fame. Yes, it was a great day. The HuffPo50 website on The Huffington Post recognized my blog as one of “7 Favorites for Post 50 Women.” Not only did they say that they liked my blog, but they featured the photo of me and my daughter A and son D as the lead image for the story.

My daughter A and son D and I were the featured photo on the HuffPo50 "7 Favorite Blogs For Post 50 Women"

“With so many millions of blogs floating about, it’s become increasingly difficult to separate the good from the mediocre, especially when it comes to the ballooning number of blogs designed for those in the fastest-growing segment of the population — midlifers,” wrote HuffPo50 writer Shelley Emling.

“And so we’ve tried to make it easier for you by scouring the web for a look at blogs representing an intriguing kaleidoscope of opinions and then listing a few we consider to be among the best of the bunch,” added Shelley.

OMG! OMG! Wow-o-wow! Wow-o-wow! I jumped up and down. I screamed. I shouted. I felt like I had won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Golden Globe, a Grammy. (Note that the 2013 awards season is coming up soon and I am an awards show junkie.) I was so excited and humbled by the accolades from my family and friends and Facebook fans. Applause and thanks go to all of you, my dear readers, who have supported me and my blog for the past five-plus years to reach this tipping point.

Congrats also to my fellow honorees. I can’t wait to check out your blogs:

Boomer girls rock! Boomer girls are hip and cool!  Boomer girls are great blog writers with lots of wisdom to share.

There is no awards ceremony, so no need to buy a new dress. But I did go out and treat myself to a set of Laura Mercier lipglosses and am ready for any celebrity photos in the future. My boyfriend L thinks that Richard Gere is too old to play him when they turn my future book about my life after 50 into a movie. What do you think? Which sexy boomer guy (with gray hair) should play my beau on the big screen?

Judi

From Loss, Comes New Traditions

Posted on by
4

I went to see Kati Marton, the award-winning journalist and author of Paris: A Love Story, speak last week at the Book and Culture Festival at the Cherry Hill Jewish Community Center. Kati’s memoir is about her life after the sudden death of her second husband, Richard Holbrooke, a former U.S. diplomat. Kati’s first husband was Peter Jennings, the former anchor of the ABC Evening News, who passed away from lung cancer in 2005.

“This is life,” said Kati. “None of us escape loss.” She had been married most of her entire adult life. “To be single, what does one do?” said Kati. She went to Paris, “where good things always happen” to decide what she was going to do in the next phase of her life.

Kati Marton is the author of Paris: A Love Story

I enjoyed reading Kati’s memoir. As Kati told us, “this book is about how to get from terrible grief back to life.” I could relate to Kati’s comments about “how loss opens up other lives” and about how she has become much closer to her siblings and to her children since the death of her husband. “When you are married you lose some of those close bonds with others,” said Kati. “After multiple losses, we have started new traditions – many centered around Paris.”

Like Kati, after the loss of my husband M (almost five years ago), I have grown closer to my two children, my daughter A and my son D. We are a tight threesome now, carrying on some of our old family traditions, while creating new ones as well.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I will not be roasting a turkey or elaborate turducken like their dad did each Thanksgiving morning. My sister-in-law is ordering the turkey all prepared from the local grocer. Rather, I will be trying a new dish on the menu – carmelized brussels sprouts – and hope the sprouts will turn out as delicious as the ones my children and I recently ate at Alta, a tapas restaurant in NYC. My son D will be following in his father’s footsteps when he prepares the baquette just the way his dad did – slicing, dusting with olive oil, salting and toasting in the oven until nice and crispy. Then we will all devour the slices topped with our favorite spinach artichoke and crab artichoke dips from Whole Foods. Yes, M gave his children a wonderful love of good food…and me too.

I am also making two homemade pies this year. Cider Apple Crumb Pie from The Hay Day Country Market Cookbook and Pear Blueberry Pie from a recipe I saved from an old Bon Appetit magazine. My late husband M subscribed to Bon Appetit and always loved the Thanksgiving issue.

“Open your heart,” said my yoga instructor P this morning during yoga class. “It’s time to think about those you are grateful for this Thanksgiving and scrunch them into your heart.”  I thought about my late husband M and I scrunched him into a corner of my heart. “Scrunch some more endearing souls into your heart,” P repeated, “There’s lots of room in there.” I scrunched in my daughter A and my son D. I scrunched in my mom P and my sister N. I scrunched in my boyfriend L. I scrunched in all my extended family members and friends.

Ahh, ahh, ahh, my heart is now fully scrunched with gratefulness this Thanksgiving. I hope your heart is fully scrunched too.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Judi

 

 

 

 

Caregiving: How My Mom Went From “Failure to Thrive” to “Ready To Launch”

Posted on by
8

“What are you going to do about your mother?” said the social worker at the rehab center. “You know she cannot live alone anymore.” My mom was 89 years old and had gone to rehab after a fall and an all-night stay in the bathroom due to her lack of strength getting up. “Failure to thrive” was the label the hospital had diagnosed before sending her off to rehab. She had lived on her own for almost 25 years. Even after we took away her car, she had found caregivers to do her laundry, take her food shopping and take her to doctors’ appointments.

“I don’t know what to do,” I said to the social worker. I was frightened, confused and not sure of the appropriate next steps. My mother lived in Florida. I lived in New Jersey. My sister N lived in New York.

“Your mother may need to go to a nursing home if she cannot improve,” said the rehab manager. “We’ll need 15 documents by tomorrow – including her income statements, her proof of assets, her will and living will, her medical insurance information and more – and then your mom can apply for Medicaid if she has to be admitted.” Not my mom, I thought to myself, my mom is not ready for a nursing home. (And even if she was, how was I supposed to find all those documents in such a short timeframe…thank you very much?)

Over the next two weeks, my mom worked hard in rehab. She built up her strength. And then it was time to leave.

“Your mom cannot live on her own anymore,” repeated the social worker at the rehab center. She will need help during the day. After countless phone calls, we hired a caregiver for my mom. She came from a caregiving agency and we signed her for a part-time schedule. My mom went home to her condo and all was well for about five hours until the clock struck 7:00 p.m.

“Your mom cannot stay by herself overnight,” said the caregiver. “She is too weak. What if she falls if she has to get out of bed? She cannot prepare dinner on her own either. And she needs help to dress and bathe.”

For the next several months, my mom had a wonderful caregiver living with her full-time…until my sister N and I agreed that neither mom, nor N nor I, could afford for mom to have a 24 hour live-in caregiver. It was cost-prohibitive and her savings were nearing zero.

“Mom, we need to have a heart-to-heart,” my sister N and I said the day we arrived to look at assisted living residences. We had called many places for weeks ahead of time and selected three spots to visit from those we felt my mom could financially afford with a little help from the two of us. We were very lucky (I think my dad was shining down on us and my late husband too) and within three weeks, my mom was “ready to launch” into a shared apartment in a very nice assisted living residence in sunny Flo-ree-da.

Thanks to great caregivers, my sister N and I just celebrated my mom's 91st birthday.

Fast forward two years to the present and my mom just celebrated her 91st birthday. At the assisted living residence, she has help round the clock if she needs it, she gets her three meals a day, she gets assistance with showering and she gets to do daily activities  with her new best friends. For sure, N and I still worry about her every day, but we know that if she takes a fall there will be someone nearby to help or take her to a hospital if needed.

I was pleased to be asked to join the AARP Kitchen Cabinet to promote National Caregiving Month this November. Providing care to a loved one is a critical issue for the 50+ population. According to AARP research, caregivers are strong, but the burden of caring makes them feel isolated and alone. In addition, many have difficulty admitting they need help and don’t know where to turn. I know from personal experience that I could have used an extra helping hand during several challenging moments of my mom’s transition.

If you are a caregiver or know a family member or friend who is a caregiver, first give them a big hug. After the big hug, encourage her/him (54% of working caregivers are female and 46% are men) to check out the AARP Caregiving Resource Center at www.aarp.org/caregiving. It provides a wealth of information on the subject from on-line support groups and blogs, to where to find housing options for loved ones, handle someone’s legal and financial matters and a whole lot more.

 Judi

 

Enter To Win Special Promos For Boomer Girls

Posted on by
Reply

Here are some fun promotions for boomer girls (boomer guys and boomlets are eligible too) to enjoy from chocolate treats to ways to enhance your sleep  during a night of hot flashes:

Chocolate Treats For My Fellow Boomer Girls: Just say “chocolate” and “shopping” in the same sentence and you have my attention. So when Chuao  told me that they are giving America a chocolate makeover with their handcrafted, all-natural gourmet goodies, now available in select Target stores and specialty retailers nationwide – I had to share the news. To celebrate, Chuao is launching a Sweet Makeover sweepstakes and offering my blog readers the chance to win a $1,000 designer shopping spree on Shopbop.com

To enter, simply like Chuao’s Facebook page where you can then enter the sweepstakes for a chance to win the $1,000 designer shopping spree. While there also check out these fabulous prizes Chuao is giving away each week:

- A one-year subscription to Birchbox ($120 value) (Birchbox provides makeup samples.)

- Philosophy Miracle Worker Collection ($190 value) (I love Philosophy products.)

- A Broscato Vibrastrait flat iron ($150 value)

- Clarisonic Mia2 Skin Cleansing System ($150 value) (I’ve been using my Clarisonic Mia that the nice PR lady sent to me and really like the way it cleanses my skin. Hope it helps wash my wrinkles away.)

- Gourmet Chuao chocolate ($180 value)

Chuao will be sending some chocolates for me to sample and I’ll be sharing them with you. If you like Judi Boomer Girl on Facebook or follow judiboomergirl on Twitter or leave a comment on my blog by November 15, you might just win some chocolates. I’ll be randomly selecting one lucky winner!

Sleep LIke A Pro: The makers of SHEEX, a new line of performance sheets for unrivaled sleep, sent some samples of their new pillowcases for me to try. SHEEX bedding is made with performance fabrics that are similar to athletic wear, enabling better temperature control, moisture transport, breathability and superior feel. While I didn’t have any hot flashes the week I slept on my SHEEX, I found the cases to be very soft. I also let my boyfriend L try a pillowcase too…I’m such a nice girlfriend!

And now I want to share SHEEX with my blog readers. To enter the raffle to win a set of SHEEX click here. The winner will be randomly selected in December. Deadline to enter is two weeks from this post, so hurry and sign up. Tell your family and friends too – the more the merrier.

During my life after 50, I’m always interested in learning about ways to improve my sleep. To find out more about sleep health and fitness, visit www.sleepfoundation.org.

Hope everyone on the east coast survived Hurricane Sandy and are safe and warm. I had minimal damage to my “condo on the corner” at the Jersey shore. I was very lucky. To donate to those in need go to www.redcross.org.

Judi

Giving Gratitude After Hurricane Sandy

Posted on by
2

“What should I make for dinner this weekend?” I asked my kids after they told me they were leaving NYC tomorrow afternoon to spend the weekend in the warmth of their mama’s home in Southern New Jersey. Both my daughter A and son D have been living without the bare necessities this week after Hurricane Sandy left her mark on the east coast.

“Nothing with shellfish or any fish that swims in water,” joked D. “I’ve seen enough water for a long time.” A was evacuated from her apartment building with no electric or running water and D had no electric or heat. A stayed with friends and D showered at his local gym.

I am grateful that I survived Sandy without loss of power at my townhome. And on Saturday, now that the ban is lifted on the Jersey shore, I will be headed down to my condo on the corner in Brigantine to see what shipwreck Sandy has left me. I do hope that my lovely condo on the corner where I sit and dream on the back deck during the warm summer months will still have a deck. I hope the bike path will still be there so that I can ride my bicycle down the island next summer. I hope the bagel store in town is still standing and the CVS where my boyfriend L and I spend many a Saturday date night during the months of July and August is not too flooded.

Ooh-ah-ooh-ah. I am very sad at what Hurricane Sandy has done to my sweet little beach town. I am especially sad about all the people who lost their homes. I am fearful about global warming as Nicholas Kristof wrote in the New York Times today. According to Nick, “There are no easy solutions, but we may need to invest in cleaner energy, impose a carbon tax or other curbs on greenhouse gases, and, above all, rethink how we can reduce the toll of a changing climate. For example, we may not want to rebuild in some coastal areas that have been hammered by Sandy.” (I hear you Nick, but we must rebuild the Jersey shore – there are pockets of paradise there for those of us who love the ocean.)

Hurricane Sandy has reminded me to show more gratitude during my life after 50:

- Gratitude for running water – both hot and cold. (I will try to use less hot water when I take a shower and not let the cold water run when I brush my teeth. My boyfriend L is so good at just letting his toothbrush get wet and brushing his teeth, while I often let the water run. No more.)

- Gratitude for clean water to make my morning tea. (In so many countries people don’t have clean water to drink. And many here don’t either after this week because of Sandy.)

- Gratitude for the electric that lights my house so I can read at night and the electric that powers my computer so I can blog.  (I will try to conserve. I promise.)

- Gratitude for the gas that heats my furnace so I can stay warm in the winter and the gas that heats my oven so I can cook my food. (My boyfriend L is good to snuggle with, but he doesn’t let off enough heat to warm the entire house or make dinner.)

- Gratitude for my family and friends who are all safe and secure after the eye of the Sandy storm hit our shores this week. We may have all lost stuff. It’s just stuff and stuff can always be replaced.

I'm grateful for matzo ball chicken soup.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. One more thing I am grateful for, I almost forgot. I am so grateful for the fabulous matzo ball chicken soup that my local deli makes. It warmed my heart and my tummy this evening as I gobbled up every last drop.There’s nothing like matzo ball chicken soup to soothe a weary soul after a week of stormy weather. (I also love the deli’s black and white cookies, maybe I’ll get one of those cookies tomorrow. So grateful. So grateful.)

Judi

 

 

Thinking Pink – Have You Had Your Mammogram?

Posted on by
Reply

I painted my toes pink this month in recognition of October National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

“Just put your arm around this bar and hold it tight. Lean in a little more. Just a little more,”  said the radiology technician as she readied me for my annual mammogram this morning. My tiny left breast went under the squeeze first. Then my tiny right breast went under the squeeze next.

I painted my toes pink for October National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

“Do I have dense tissue?” I asked the technician. According to a recent article in the New York Times, states have begun passing laws requiring clinics that perform mammograms to tell patients whether they have dense tissue. Women who have dense tissue must, under those laws, also be told that it can hide tumors on a mammogram, that it may increase the risk of breast cancer and that they need additional screening tests, like ultrasound or M.R.I. scans.

“Dense tissue is like a thick cloud. You know how you cannot see an airplane above a thick cloud,” said the technician. “That’s what happens when someone has dense tissue, you cannot see the tumor. These new machines are very good at seeing through the clouds.”

My dear friend R passed away from breast cancer this year. She was only in her early 60′s. We met in lamaze class. Our baby girls were born a few weeks apart. My baby girl is now a big girl in the big city. She just got promoted this week. Go A. Go A. Go A. You’ll be a CFO one day. My late friend R’s daughter M just became a doctor. Go M! Go M! Go M! I know you’ll be a great doctor. Your mom would be so proud of you.  I thought of your mom today and think of her often.

“The doctor will call you with the results,” said the technician. “Okay,” I said. Each year when I go under the squeeze I get a little nervous, especially since I turned 50. I say a little prayer that my tiny breasts will remain lump-free.

Have you had your mammogram this year? Next week is the end of October. There are a few days left.  Don’t forget!

Judi

Enjoying the Little Things With My 91 Year Old Mom

Posted on by
Reply

I was reminded about slowing down and enjoying life as my sister N and I celebrated my mom’s 91st birthday last week in Flo-ree-da. It felt like it was just yesterday that she had blown out the candles on her 90th birthday cake. Time sure seems to race by quickly as I get older.

“Enjoy the little things. For one day you may look back and realize they were the big things,” says the quote on a small sachet pillow on my kitchen counter. I love this quote and last week my mom, who is a master at her ripe age, helped guide me in this practice.

“Why do they only serve 3 little rugalah for dessert?” asked my mom the night we dined at the local deli. “Because that is a serving,” I replied. “But I think they should serve 4,” said my mom. “That’s too many rugalah,” I said as mom dabbed her finger on the plate to grab every last crumb. That’s my mom, she definitely knows how to enjoy the little things.

“I can’t finish my scallops,” said my mom the next night as we dined at Bonefish Grill. “Why do they serve so much fish, who can eat so much fish?” “Just eat what you can,” I said as she moved the plate in my direction to taste. “Any room for dessert?” asked the nice waitress. “Of course,” said mom, “I’ll have the Key Lime pie.” It was her birthday dinner, so she had to have dessert. “I’ll bring some extra forks,” said the waitress.  We shared the pie and every last bit of crust was gone from the plate by the time the bill arrived. That’s my mom, she definitely knows how to enjoy the little things.

On Saturday night we went to Panera Bread for dinner. My sister N and mom ordered a salad and soup combination and I ordered a big salad. Our stomachs were full. “Aren’t we going to have dessert?” said mom. “Let’s share a brownie,” I said. There was one lonely brownie left in the bakery just waiting for us to claim it. We cut the brownie into three equal pieces and gobbled it up. That’s my mom, she definitely knows how to enjoy the little things.

We took an afternoon Shabbat break at mom’s assisted living residence on Friday complete with Maneschewitz wine and challah for all. We visited Las Olas in Ft. Lauderdale where we sat on a bench and enjoyed cups of ice cream. Mom had two small scoops of strawberry and my sister N and I had two BIG ones – mint chip for N and mocha chip for moi. Then it was back to mom’s place for a mini fashion show as she tried on all the clothes I bought her for her birthday. She loved the red, black and gray striped top. “It’s so pretty,” said mom. I was pleased to see her wearing her new top when we picked her up the next day. That’s my mom, what a fashionista (she taught her two daughters well) she definitely knows how to enjoy the little things.

Happy birthday mom! Happy birthday to you. I love you. I love you. I do. I do. I do. Can’t wait until next year when you turn 92. Ooh, ooh, ooh. What little things will we do?

Judi

P.S. – To all my wonderful email subscribers, unfortunately my email program continues to have a glitch.  I hope to fix it soon or will have to find another solution. Meantime, I will personally send you an email link to my post or if you want to subscribe, hit the RSS feed button on the top corner to follow my blog in a reader format.