Monthly Archives: September 2009

Getting Ready for the Next Phase of My Life

Posted on by
1


Fall started last week. I can tell the fall season is here. The leaves are falling. Yes, the leaves are falling all over my lawn. The squirrels are climbing on my trees and chewing up the acorns and the branches of the trees are falling too. The branches are falling all over my lawn too.

I used to run out and pick up all the leaves and branches, but this year I’m too busy getting my house ready for fall. I have my new roof, my new heater. Soon I will have my new garage door and garage door opener. And the foundation work will eventually be fixed as well. And then I’ll fix the deck after the contractors pull up the deck boards when they reinforce the foundation in the back wall.

Maybe once I finish investing the rest of what seems like half my savings into my house, it will be time to move on. Yes, maybe once I accomplish the other 13 – 20 items on the ‘before I sell my house list’ it will be time to move on…to move on and move out and really start the next phase of my fiftysomething life.

Am I scared to move on? Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no, no. (I count three yes’s and four no’s. The no’s win.)

Am I ready to move on? No,no,no. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. (I count three no’s and five yes’s. The yes’s win.)

“But you can’t move now?” said my son. “You don’t want to move now,” said my daughter. “It’s not a good time to move now,” said my mom, “the housing market is depressed.” (Sounds like three ‘no’ votes to me?)

Can I empower myself and make it happen? Yes, yes, yes, yes. No,no. Yes, yes, yes. No, no. (Let’s see. That’s seven yes’s and four no’s. The yes’s win again.)

What will it take for me to empower myself and make it happen? A little push? No, no, no. (Three no’s this time. Uh, oh.)

A BIG SHOVE? Yes, yes, yes. (Three yes’s. Shoving it is.)

Can I let go of the smell that lingers in my late husband’s closet? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. (Three yes’s and two no’s. The yes’s win.)

“It’s almost two years since your husband passed away,” said a friend, “It’s time to let go and get ready for the next phase of your life.” (Another ‘yes.’)

I did some fall cleaning last week. I cleaned out the last few clothes that have been hanging in my late husband’s closet…the clothes that I wasn’t ready to give away two years ago. (Okay, I left a few old Yankee tees to give to my son…and possibly my grandson if I ever have one. And I will be sure to pack them away when I eventually pack up the rest of my boxes for a potential move.)

It’s fall and the leaves are falling and I’m getting closer to getting ready to move on to the next phase of my life. I even went online last night and took a peek at some townhouses. I found one that had a BIG JACUZZI BATHTUB. Ooh, ahh, ooh, ahh. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. (I count five yes’s and two oohs, and two ahhs.)

Sounds to me like I’m getting pretty close to moving ahead? But, songwriter Phyllis Molinary’s words say it best:

“I had my share, I drank my fill
And even though I’m satisfied, I’m hungry still
To see what’s down another road, beyond a hill
And do it all again”

Do you know what? My favorite Barbara just recorded this song for her new album. OMG. Take a listen, I think she is singing “Here’s to Life” to me. Oh, Barbara even though you did not invite me to the Village Vanguard the other night to hear you sing, I forgive you and I will still buy your new album because I just LOVE this song.

Judi

I’ve Got The Power

Posted on by
Reply


I saw Suze Orman speak last week at the Pennsylvania Governor’s Conference for Women. I had never heard Suze Orman speak before. Never read any of her books. Never watched her television show. But, after one presentation I was hooked. She was so motivating, especially to women…and not just young women…but women of all ages.

As Suze said, “we get better with age.” According to Suze, the average talk show host is 57 years old. (Does that mean I still have six more years to become a talk show host? Maybe once I write my book and become famous then I can become a talk show host. Maybe if I write my book and then have a talk show, I can invite Richard Gere as a guest. Ooh, that sounds like good motivation to get my book out of draft mode and into serious edit mode.)

What else did Suze say to the thousands of women who attended the conference? She had a lot more advice:

- Suze says that “the only thing that keeps us down is the ability to believe in ourselves.” (Sometimes, okay oftentimes, I don’t believe in myself. But, I’m getting better at believing…especially since I turned the BIG 50. It was like I hit a magic number that changed my ‘believing’ genes.)

- Suze says that “women take care of everyone and everything except ourselves.” (Suze is sooooooooo right on this point. I do take care of everyone…always thinking of everyone first, especially my kids – even though they should be taking care of themselves now that they are all grown up. And I do take care of everything – my house is a really BIG EVERYTHING lately. I have to start refocusing on me.)

- Suze says that “you have to learn to give to yourself as much as you give to others.” (Suze is right again. So glad I took time out for myself last Sunday afternoon and went to Lord & Taylor to purchase another pair of my favorite Not Your Daughter’s Jeans. I also tried to purchase a leopard belt so I would be trendy for the first day of fall, which is today, but they didn’t have any leopard belts in my size. I will just have to take more ‘timeouts for me’ and keep hunting for my leopard belt.)

- Suze says “Power attracts money and when you are powerlessness you repel money.” She says that “Power attracts people. People control money. Power attracts money.” (Suze is right again. Now I just have to practice exuding more power when I walk into a room, just like Suze says. Then maybe I will attract more money.)

- Suze says that “fear, shame and anger are three obstacles to power and money.” (Yes, yes, and yes – I carry all those emotions and they do weigh me down.)

- Suze says that “we say no to ourselves, but yes to others including yes to our kids, our spouses, our coworkers. What we think, what we feel, what we do, must all be aligned.” (I agree with Suze. However, sometimes what I think and feel don’t always match up with what I do. Note to self to practice this alignment. Wonder if yoga will help with my alignment?)

- Suze says that “the economy is no excuse for who we believe we are.” (So who else should I blame if not the economy that has drained out my 401K and other assets?)

According to Suze, there are key things I should be doing with the money I am making…and they are:

1. Have an eight month emergency fund. (I agree and I do.)

2. Get out of credit card debt. (I agree. No debt for me.)

3. Save for retirement and sign up for your company’s 401K, especially if they have a match. (I agree and I did.)

4. Have a will and trust. (Yes, yes, I do, I do.)

5. Tell your children ‘no,’ save more for retirement instead of putting more money in a 529 account to pay for all their college expenses. (Okay, I don’t want to talk about this step right now…especially since my son seems to be so happy in NYC even though it is costing me mega bucks to send him to college.)

“People first, powerful people first, then money, then things we need and want,” Suze says.

Ooh Suze, ooh Suze…you are so motivating. I’ve got the power to be powerful, to attract people, to attract money. I do. I do. Well, at least right now I do believe I have the power. But, how can I ensure that this feeling doesn’t diminish?

Ooh, maybe I should post your words up under my bathroom lights so I can read them every morning when I put on my makeup and lipstick before I leave the house for work. Yes, yes, yes, that’s exactly what I think I’ll do.

Judi

Fiftysomething Fall Fashionista

Posted on by
1


Now that I’ve taken care of most of my household chores and fixes and made the transitional move from my summer closet to my fall closet, I’m ready to do some fall shopping to cover my fiftysomething body. As you may know if you have been reading my blog, I have been reading all the fall fashion magazines to find out ALL the hot trends and see what I need to purchase to be a ‘fiftysomething fall fashionista.’

Let’s see, I read the 584 pages of the September issue of Vogue. I read the huge volune of the September issue of InStyle. I read the New York Times 5th Anniversary Issue of “T” Fashions of the Times. I read the Saks Fifth Avenue ad about the ‘most mesmerizing trends’ that arrived in their stores. I read Loehmann’s promotional flyer that included the ‘it’ list of ‘must have trends for fall!’

Sooooooooo, now that I have read ALL about ALL the fashion trends for fall and cleaned out my closet of ALL my old fall clothes which I must now take to Goodwill or donate to Image & Attitude (so others less fortunate can have their pick of prior years’ trends), I’m ready to go shopping.

Hmm, hmm, hmm. What fall trends do I foresee will look good on my fiftysomething body?

Saks Fifth Avenue “Want It” List

-Forever Bag (Do I want it? No I don’t. Perhaps my daughter will let me borrow her nice new Louis Vuitton Speedy sometime. Or maybe, I will buy an imitation Speedy on Canal Street the next time I am in NYC. While I don’t care for BIG handbags, I really should get a new handbag for the fall since my summer handbag colors may not look too good with my fall wardrobe colors.)

- Mixed Metal Necklaces (Do I want it? Yes, I want it. I love jewelry. It always jazzes up an outfit. I don’t purchase a lot of gold or diamonds, but give me a good piece of costume jewelry or handcrafted jewelry and I get sooooooo excited. Will check these out at Saks if I ever go shopping there, which is not often.)

- Lacquered Lip(Do I want it? No I don’t. I do like shiny lips, not lacquered ones. It sounds like a piece of furniture.)

- Leggings (Do I want it? No I don’t. These are thigh high boots. As a rather petite person, I don’t think I will be wearing thigh high boots this fall. However, they would cover my entire leg, which means no one would see my spider veins. Think I will just wear dark tights and stockings.)

- Strong Shoulders (Do I want it? Well, I already have it. So I guess the answer is no. Can you believe shoulder pads are in again? I’m so glad I never discarded my Ralph Lauren blue pinstriped suit with the huge shoulder pads from the ’80s. Being the fashionista that I am, I knew that shoulder pads and wide legs would come back in style someday and I would get to wear my favorite power suit again. As they say, 50 is the new 30. Hope the suit still fits.)

- Loop (Do I want it? Yes, I do. From the picture, this looks like a long scarf that wraps around the neck. I’m also a BIG scarf person, so I like the Loop trend for fall.)

- Rocker Boots (Do I want it? Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. These are short booties with high heels. You wear them with a dress or skirt. My daughter tried on some Rocker Boots when we went shopping together a few weeks ago. They looked cute on her, but will they look cute on my fiftysomething feet? And do I think I will be able to walk around in such high heels. Not sure this trend will work for me.)

- Sexy Shapewear (Do I want it? Yes, no, ooh, ahh. Will I reshape my body? Can I reshape my body this fall with Sexy Shapewear. Yes, no, ooh, ahh!)

- Vest (Do I want it? I’m not sure I can wear this look again. Shame I didn’t save my vests from the consignment shop. I used to wear a lot of vests during the mid-to-late ’70s when I was trying to look like Annie Hall during my twentysomething college days.)

- Cozy Knit ( Do I want it? Yes, I do. I do like the long sweaters that fit over my hips. Will have to check out these Cozy Knit sweaters for the fall. Cozy is good during crisp fall days and cold fall evenings.)

If I skip Saks and become a more frugal fashionista, I will likely head to Loehmann’s. Let’s see what trends they are predicting for fall:

Loehmann’s ‘It’ List – Must Have Trends For Fall!

- Leather jackets (I have two leather jackets that I bought a long time ago. I guess they will suffice for another year since they are still on-trend. Ooh, ooh, but if I see a really great leather jacket, I may have to try it on…and if I really, really like it…I may have to add it to my ‘want it’ list.)

- Plaid (I’m not a fan of plaid shirts. Nope, I don’t like plaid shirts, unless you pair them with overalls. Too juvenile for me. Plaid may be ‘on trend’ for fall, but out for me. I’m not even a big fan of plaid skirts.)

- Jumpsuits (No jumping for me this fall. At fiftysomething, it takes too long to get in and out of a jumpsuit with an over-active bladder.)

- Boyfriend denim & boyfriend jackets (My daughter A wants a boyfriend jacket. Should I get one too? Do I need a boyfriend jacket when I go on a date with my guy friend L? What is boyfriend denim? Oh, I just looked it up and it appears that boyfriend denim is a guy-styled jean and you wear it with a guy-style tee and a guy-style belt. Now I understand. I don’t think this trend is my style, but I understand it.)

- Biker Boots (I don’t like these boots either. I’m not going to become a Harley Davidson biker chick this fall.)

- Animal Prints (Now we’re getting somewhere. I like leopards. I saw a nice leopard belt at J Crew which I also saw much cheaper in a Loehmann’s ad. Leopard is a good accent with black outfits I also saw some nice leopard shoes at Lord & Taylor too. I thought leopard was ‘in’ last year. Will have to check my closet and see if I have any previous trendy leopard attire.)

- Studded Belts & Bags (I have a bunch of metal studs from when my kids used to do arts and crafts. So glad I never throw anything out. You never know when you might need a plastic stud machine. Perhaps I should take the plastic stud machine out of my closet and stud up some of my fall clothes.)

- Cardigan Sweaters (Very practical trend.)

- Fur Vests (Here are those vests again…but fur ones?)

- Destructed Denim (Wonder if that is different than boyfriend denim?)

- Leggings (I wear leggings for yoga, but don’t think I’ll be wearing them to work.)

- Over-the-knee Boots (Here are those thigh high boots again. Saks refers to them as ‘leggings.’ Maybe I will have to at least try on a pair of these boots when I do go shopping.)

- Tissue Tees (These tees are so thin that you have to wear a few of them or they look like pyjamas.)

Instyle also had Clothes They Love. Some of the same trends that I’ve already mentioned were featured. Others included:

- Ornamentation
- Dark Sparkle
- Draping
- Bright Coat
- Day Dress
- Romantic Shirt (Note to self – must get a nice white button down shirt for fall, no ruffles for me though, I do not look good in ruffles.)

Form-fitted a-line skirts are also trendy. Not sure where I read or saw this trend, but I want some form-fitted skirts for the fall.

As the Vogue editors said, “In fashion, some seasons are about intellectual black, icy elegance, and poker faces. This is a season for smiles.”

Judi

Clowning Around

Posted on by
3


It’s been an incredibly hectic few weeks and now summer is over. Yes, summer is over and I’ve only seen one of the top 20 movies of the summer (according to Entertainment Weekly). Not only have I only seen one movie – Julie and Julia - but I’ve seen it twice.

I’ve likely only seen one movie because I’ve been so busy taking care of my house. I should call my summer of 2009 the “house fixer upper” summer. Every time I fixed one thing something else seemed to break down. A few weeks ago, I finally had a new roof put on my house. That was a BIG JOB. Then, while the roofers were putting on the new roof, they broke one of my outdoor lights. (Luckily they quickly repaired it.)

Then, I noticed that my sprinkler system wasn’t working. I think the roofers may have cut one of the wires on the outdoor sensor. I was so busy I didn’t even realize that my sprinkler wasn’t working until the other day when I went outside and wondered why my grass was turning brown and my bushes were drying up.

Last week, my garage door broke down too. I waited all day for a Sears repairman to show up. All day I sat at home waiting and waiting. By noontime, I called to inquire about my appointment.

“When can I expect the repairman to show up?” I said angrily on the phone.

“We told you between 8 am and 5 pm. I know you requested between 8 am and noon, but we cannot guarantee that timeframe,” said the Sears customer service representative.

“All day I have to wait,” I replied, “This is absurd. I cannot wait all day.” I hung up the phone and called my colleague to tell her that I would not be at work because of the Sears repairman. She said I should contact a local garage door company. I got on the internet, googled garage doors and called the local garage door company right away.

“What’s your problem?” said the nice gentleman on the phone. “Your garage door is broken. Okay, I’m just finishing up with a customer. I’ll be right over.”

OMG! It was as though someone had sent me a garage door repair angel. The nice gentleman J showed up at my front door within 20 minutes (and then I led him to my broken garage door).

“Yep, it’s broken,” said J. “You need a whole new double door for your two car garage and a whole new garage door opener. It will take about 4-6 weeks to order and it is $$$.”

As I led J into the house to sign the contract, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. J wrote out the contract and told me about his life, his career which didn’t go as planned, and about his wife who was ill. I told him about my life and my late husband’s illness.

“Will you need an extra door opener for your husband?” said J.

“No, I won’t,” I told J as I started to cry. “He passed away almost two years ago.”

“I’m sorry,” said J. “You know I began clowning around to make some additional money when my wife took ill. I do magic, balloons, face painting, carnivals, games, and music. If you ever need a clown, give me a call.”

My tears turned into laughter as J provided me with his Beep-Beep The Clown business card. J not only saved me from my Sears insanity last week, he also provided me with some levity as I handed over my credit card for what was another hefty amount on top of the hefty amount I had just doled out for my new roof.

I pulled J’s Beep-Beep the Clown business card out of my bag at the end of the week too. I needed more levity after I went down to my basement and found a crack in the foundation wall. I called the foundation repairman and he is due out to assess the damage next week.

Let’s see, I have a new heater and air conditioner and new roof. Soon I’ll have a new garage door and garage door opener. Hopefully, the foundation repairman will be able to fix my foundation before my house sinks into the ground and my sprinkler system will be fixed before my grass and bushes turn into haystacks. And, oh yes, did I mention the stone in my walkway is coming loose (even though last year the landscaper guaranteed that the sand around the stone would last forever and that I would never see any weeds again in between the stone. Ha, ha, ha, and I actually believed him!)

If all else fails, at least my DVD will still be working in the fall, so I can watch all the 19 other top summer movies that I missed this summer which should be coming out on DVD soon. If it breaks down, I think I’ll just call Beep-Beep the Clown ,have some friends over, and we can clown around and have a party.

Judi

Fun in Flo-ree-da

Posted on by
3


I read the other week in the New York Times Health Section (which appears on Tuesdays) that a study found that when stressed out mice take vacations they become less stressed. Soooo, I decided, if a vacation works for little stressed out creatures like mice, perhaps a vacation might help me relax too.

On Tuesday, I boarded the plane for Fort Lauderdale, along with my daughter A (and her Louis Vuitton handbag which does not leave her sight) and son D (and his Blackberry which I think may be permanently part of his right earlobe since he talks to his girlfriend L all the time.), for a week of vacation in Flo-ree-da.

First, I took my kids to see my mom P (their grandmother who had not seen them in almost two years) who lives in Margate and then we spent the second half of our trip in Orlando, since I had a wedding to attend in DisneyWorld.

The Flight
“I can’t believe you spent the entire 2.5 hours of the flight reading your Vogue magazine,” said son D. “How can anyone spend that much time reading one magazine?”

“You have to understand,” I said, “It is the September issue. It’s 584 pages of as it says on the cover ‘stylish steals & smart splurges + beauty secrets of the season and all the Fall fashion fun.’ Plus, I had to read the articles about Jenny Sanford and her husband’s ‘cheating heart’ and Roger Federer, ‘the greatest tennis player of all time’ and Charlize Theron, who ‘always reveals too much.’”

Cover to cover, I covered all 584 pages. So glad the flight took all 2.5 hours.

To Grandmother’s House We Go
Grandma P was a bit under the weather, but we had fun. We brought bagels to go along with grandma P’s lox and lots of bottled water to keep us hydrated during the hot, hot days at the pool.

“Where do you think we will go for dinner?” said A. “You know grandma, she likes Chinese food and deli.”

“Where do you want to go for dinner?” I said to my mom on Tuesday evening.

“Let’s see,” said P. “Oh, I haven’t had Chinese food in a long time. “Can we go have Chinese food?”

A and D were quite surprised to find out that the Chinese restaurant also served sushi, and quite good sushi at that. Grandma P’s taste is quite trendy. We left the restaurant with full tummies and lots of leftovers for P’s already full refrigerator.

“Where do you want to go for dinner?” I said to my mom on Wednesday evening. (We had plans to go see the Julie and Julia movie that night. We checked the movie times in the paper to make sure the movie was playing in a theatre nearby. The paper said 7:30 pm which was perfect. If we left for dinner at 5:30 pm, it would give us enough time to eat dinner, get lost finding the theatre, and be in our seats for the start of the show.)

“Let’s see,” said P. “Ooh, I think we should go to TooJays Deli. I have a yen for shrimp salad.”

“TooJays it is,” I replied. We enjoyed our salads and deli sandwiches and shared some delicious desserts. No leftovers. We all decided that TooJays is feeling the effects of the recession and has definitely cut back on their portion sizes – either that or we were little piggies that night. NO, NO, NO, the portions were DEFINITELY smaller!

Finding Our Way
“Which way do we go,” I asked P as we piled into the car. “Left or right?”

“I think you go left,” said P. “You need to find Lyons Road and then you make another left and the theatre should be right there.”

It was dark. I turned left. I drove several blocks. It was 7:00 pm. (Remember I said the movie started at 7:30 pm).

It was dark. I kept driving several more blocks. It was 7:10 pm. (Remember I said the movie started at 7:30 pm).

It was dark. I kept driving several more blocks looking for Lyons Road. It was 7:15pm. (I knew where my children were. I knew where my mom was. I didn’t know where Lyons Road was.)

“I don’t think we are going to make the movie,” I said to P.

“I thought it was this way,” said P, “I guess I was mistaken.” (It was 7:20 pm.) “Turn in here, I think there is another movie theatre in this shopping center. We can see if Julie and Julia is playing here,” said P.

I turned left. I drove up to the theatre. D went to check the times. The next showing of Julie and Julia was at 7:25 pm. A went to get the tickets. D helped P out of the car with the walker. I parked the car.

We were all in our seats when the show started. Whew! Close call, but we made it. Glad there are several movie theatres in Flo-ree-da.

Off to See Mickey
“Everyone is always happy here,” said D, as we arrived for our three day stay in DisneyWorld. “I wonder if the happy workers go home and yell at their family and friends at the end of the day?”

I realized that I hadn’t been to DisneyWorld in many, many years. And after a few days I realized why I hadn’t been to DisneyWorld in many, many years. The Beach Club Resort was lovely, but there were soooooooooo many little kids and I don’t have little kids anymore. No, now I have BIG KIDS. It just wasn’t the same. There was no one to buy Mickey Mouse ears for. No one screaming in my ear to have Breakfast with the Characters. No one to stroll in a stroller around the parks.

Now my kids are old enough to go by themselves on a roller coaster. So, I did not have to lose a night’s sleep worrying about how I was going to survive the wait to go on the rollercoaster and survive the fear of the rollercoaster ride. (Years ago, I actually yelled to the Disney conductor to turn off the rollercoaster halfway through the ride, but he never listened to me.)

This time, instead of waiting and worrying, I took myself to see the Beauty and the Beast show with the other rollercoaster wimps, while my BIG KIDS ventured on all the fast-paced rides.

Wedding Bells
Saturday nite was the best – I dressed in my Nicole Miller strapless dress (which was luckily glued to my body from the 90 degree heat) and my Ann Taylor high-heeled sandals (which were also glued to my sweaty feet) and pranced off to my colleague’s wedding. She was so beautiful in her elegant gown. She looked just like a Disney princess. It was like a storybook wedding. The sun was setting on the gazebo as they said their vows, we threw yellow rose petals at the bride and groom. Then we were wisked off to Epcot for cocktails, an extraordinary light show, and back to Ariel’s restaurant for dinner and dancing. (Not much dancing for me. My 50+ year old feet weren’t up for too much dancing in their high-heeled sandals.)

Almost Home
Sunday morning we woke early, finished packing our bags, and were ready to check out. The wonderful thing about staying at a Disney hotel is that you can check your luggage at the hotel and not even think about it until you pick it up at your destination city.

“How many bags are you checking?” asked the attendant.

“Two bags,” I said. (A and I had shared a large suitcase. We were good packers. Although, we did bring way too many clothes.)

“We’ll have to weigh the bags,” said the attendant.

I put my bag on the scale.

“It weighs 53 pounds,” said the attendant. “You’ll have to take 3 lbs. out of the bag or you’ll have to pay an additional $50.”

“How could your bag weigh 3 lbs. more than it did when we arrived?” asked D.

“How is that possible,” said A.

“Oh no,” I said. “I know what it is. It’s my Vogue magazine. That’s the extra 3 lbs. I packed it in my suitcase.”

“Well, just throw it out,” said D.

“What, what, what,” I replied. “I can’t throw out the September issue of Vogue. Not yet. I know I read the entire issue, but I haven’t picked out my favorite outfits yet. I know I’m not going to buy those outfits from Neiman Marcus or Armani, but I still want to look at them again when I get home.” (But, I also didn’t want to spend an extra $50 to take home my Vogue magazine.)

I took out my shoes, and some other items and put them in my son D’s suitcase.

“It’s 47 lbs.,” said the attendant. “You’re fine now.”

Home Sweet Home
I enjoyed my vacation in Flo-ree-da. It was nice to have a few days to relax, sit by the pool (even with all the little kids), read an entire novel (Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner), and spend time with three of my favorite people (mom P, daughter A and son D).

I think A was glad to be home too. She didn’t appreciate sharing a room with her mom who snores. I never realized I am such a snorer. The good thing is – if I was snoring then I must have been sleeping – which means I wasn’t having one of my stressful sleepless menopausal nights.

Yes, like the little mice on vacation – I too had a chance to relax and have fun during my 6 day break in Flo-ree-da.

Judi