A Smashing Kickoff To Summer ’09

Posted on May 26, 2009 by Judi

My summer of 2009 got off to a smashing start this weekend. The sky was full of sunshine, my condo on the corner at the shore was filled with people I care about, and my first summer barbecue was a rousing success with hot coals and well-cooked burgers. (Thanks to my daughter’s boyfriend A, the barbecue chef…he came through this year. Unlike last summer 2008, this year, we left the lighter fluid in the container and used self-igniting Matchlight coals instead.)

I listened to the radio as I drove home from work on Friday. One of my favorite radio stations was playing the top songs of summers’ past. I turned up the volume to high as ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun,’ a popular ’80s summer tune came on and I sang along with Cindy Lauper (a fellow boomer girl). Yes, I thought to myself, at 50+, I still do want to have fun. Isn’t that what summer is all about – having fun!

So, what FUN things did I do this first summer weekend of 2009, besides having a successful barbecue?

- I laid out on the beach and soaked in some sunny rays. Unlike my daughter A and her boyfriend A who ended up with red hot bodies, I was smart and sprayed my 50+ body head to toe with 40+ SPF suntan lotion. (However, the awning on my super-duper sand chair that I bought a year ago was very uncooperative. It kept flipping back behind my head with each gust of wind and I almost thought I might end up doing a somersault on the beach – which would have been really, really FUNNY.)

- I took my bicycle out for my first summer ride around the shore. I tried to find the beautiful house a few blocks away from my condo on the corner that was for sale last year to see if it was still for sale. (It was a dreamy house with sparkly blue granite kitchen countertops. I remember the fun time I had when I toured the open house during one of my summer 2008 bicycle rides.) I was curious to see if my dreamy house was still for sale, but 50+ year old brain could not remember which street it was on. Glad I have many more fun summer weekends left to ride around the island and find it.

- I went out to dinner with my daughter A and her boyfriend A and my son D and his girlfriend L. We went to Budakkan in Atlantic City for D’s belated 19th birthday celebration. It was definitely a flavorful FUN eating experience. We ordered the special banquet menu for a party of five. It felt like our flavorful FUN eating experience was going to go on forever as the dishes kept arriving on our table. First, came four different appetizers (the Edamame Ravioli was great), next the selection of entrees (the Steak with Wasabi Sweet Potatoes was even better), and then the bounty of delectable desserts (ooh-aah, ooh-aah, the light cream-filled mini donuts with dark chocolate sauce were the best, best, best.) All of our tummies were definitely stuffed full by the end of the evening.

- I went for a long walk on the beach with my new 50+ guy friend L. We buried our flip-flops in the sand dunes, so we wouldn’t have to carry them with us on our walk. Luckily, he left a stick in the sand at the burial site, or I think we would have lost our flip-flops. (Can you imagine a summer without flip-flops? That would not be a FUN summer.)

There were a few clouds in the sky this weekend, however the rain held off during the day. It was FUN to look at the cloud formations – it was as though someone had painted white cotton balls in the blue sky. The clouds reminded me of the words that Maya Angelou had spoken a few weeks ago at a women’s conference that I attended. Her words touched my heart…and my soul:

Maya said to ‘always look for ‘rainbows in the clouds.’(It was FUN to look for the rainbows as I kicked off the summer of ’09 this weekend. There were quite a few more rainbows than last year and definitely more rainbows than the summer of ’07.)

Maya said ‘to be the woman you really are you need to develop courage.’ (I’ve been working on developing courage since I turned 50 and since I’ve become a widow…and I’ve been making good progress this past year.)

Maya said to ‘like yourself.’ (I’ve been working on ‘liking my whole 50+ self’ too and I’ve also made good progress in this area.)

Maya said to ‘stop whining.’ Maya said that ‘whining let’s a brute know that a victim is in the neighborhood.’ (Okay, Maya, I’m trying to do better with my whining too. I only whined once during this first weekend of summer ’09. I whined because I was upset that a wasp decided to build a nest in the corner of my house near my garage door. Now I am going to have to develop the courage that you said I need to knock down the nest…or I can be a wimp and let my exterminator knock it down. We’ll see, we’ll see.)

Maya said to ‘laugh.’ Maya said that ‘each of us needs humor in our lives.’ (I had quite a few good laughs this weekend, especially when I got confused and walked off the beach on the wrong exit. For a few moments, I lost my bearing and could not decide which way to walk back to my condo on the corner. I laughed, just like Maya said. And then I had FUN looking at all the pretty houses on the new blocks that I had never seen before. In fact, I think I will likely have many more good laughs before summer ’09 is done.)

So, my first summer weekend of ’09 is just about over. Now I have to go to sleep. Wish the weekend could last just one more day…but that isn’t possible. I’ll just have to wait until next weekend, when I will hopefully add to my summer ’09 fun meter.

Judi

P.S. – What ways do you have summer fun? Join the conversation. Leave a comment and share your suggestions with fellow boomer women.

Brighter Days Are Here To Stay

Posted on May 18, 2009 by Judi

I just zoomed my way to brighter days. Yes, today, I had my teeth whitened with “a revolutionary whitening procedure.” My 51 year old teeth now look a whole lot brighter. Which is a good thing, especially since my one dimple on the left side of my cheek, which used to be cute, has turned into one long laugh line down the side of my face. So glad the focus of my smile will now be on my white teeth.

It took two hours to complete the Zoom! Professional Whitening process. I was nervous when I arrived at the dentist’s office. I told the Technician J that I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to go through with this process. I must have asked her 20 questions before I finally sat down in the chair. Will it hurt? Will my teeth be sensitive? Will it impact my gums? Will it work? How long will it last? What is that thing? Are you going to put that thing in my, in my, in my mouth?

“Don’t worry,” said J, “if you can’t handle all the stuff in your mouth, we’ll stop.” And I will never leave you alone,” she reassured me as she put the plastic device inside my mouth to keep it open. I looked and felt like a duck. Then J covered my gums with gauze and a coating to prevent them from being bleached. She told me to breath through my nose and to let her know if I was having any problems or feeling too much heat. I can do this. I can do this, I can do this, I said to myself…don’t chicken out…or duck out either with a duck mouth.

I laid back and did a meditation practice while J put the bleach on my front teeth and the zoom lamp in front of my mouth for two 15 minute sessions.

Voila, 30 minutes later and my teeth were whiter (I will admit that I think I almost fell asleep during the 15 minute session. I was in a very meditative state. “You’re face is drifting,” said J, “better straighten up or your coloring will be off.”) “Look now,” J said as she held the mirror up to my face. I was so excited…so proud of my accomplishment and my brighter smile to show for it.

Now I just have to follow my Post-Whitening care instructions. No coffee or tea for the next two days (not even decaf). No mustard or ketchup. No cola (luckily I don’t drink soda anymore.) No red wine (good thing I prefer white.) No soy sauce or red sauce (will have to save my favorite Victoria Marinara sauce for another week.) No berry pie either.

I told J that I will follow her instructions. I promise to use white toothpaste, and eat white foods for the next few days to honor my new white teeth. Tonight, I ate white pasta for dinner and drank a glass of white wine. Tomorrow, I will plan a white and light colored menu as well: For breakfast, I will have white milk on my beige Kashi cereal and yellow bananas with my vanilla yogurt. For lunch, I will have some white tuna with white mayonnaise and clear water. I will miss my daily Snapple Iced Tea. I’ll have to think of other white and light colored foods to have for dinner – I know, I know, I can have an egg white omelet with white feta cheese!

I am so pleased with my “sparkling Zoom!” smile. “How much younger do I look?,” I asked J. “Ten years, five years, three years…how much younger do I look?,” tell me I said to J.

“You look younger than you are,” said J. “You look great.”

“How long will this whitening process last,” I asked J as I paid the $500 bill.

“It lasts about a year and we give you whitening trays that you can use at home too to help your teeth stay white. After your teeth are zoomed they never go back to their original color,” added J.

“Wow, never,” I said. “I guess brighter days are here to stay for the rest of my 50+ life.” I said to J with a big wide smile.

Mirror, mirror on the wall…who has the whitest teeth of all? Me, me, me, meeeeeeee!

Now I’ll just have to figure out a way to touch up my dimple. Maybe Zoom! will come out with a dimple procedure sometime soon. I’ll be waiting.

Judi

Achy, Breaky Mama

Posted on May 11, 2009 by Judi

If I had written this post yesterday, like I had planned to do, it would have been titled “Cross Country Mama.” You see, I, Judi, age 51, ran the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Philadelphia in exactly 41 minutes. (Okay, I stopped to get some water a few times, and I also stopped to take off my jacket and roll up my long black leggings. But, other than about two stops and a few brief jog/walk moments when the race was going up hill, I was part of the running crowd instead of the usual yearly walking crowd. Can I say that again? Me, me, me, meeeeeee…I Judi, age 51, was part of the running crowd.)

My soon to be 19 year old son was by my side as he always is each Mother’s Day, only this time, he too was running alongside me instead of walking. “You can do it mom,” he kept cheering me on. “Just keep running,we’re almost to the first mile,” he said as he ran backwards in front of me to make sure I was still standing and my legs were still moving. “Just keep running, there’s water up ahead,” he chimed, as I stopped to get a cup while in motion and almost wet him head to toe. (I think I did get the water volunteers a bit wet as I threw the cup to the ground after taking a few sips.) “You’re doing great, wow mom, I’m impressed,” he said as we rounded the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum on the last leg of the race. “I didn’t think you had it in you,” he yelled back to me.

Frankly, I didn’t think I had it in me either. I don’t know what possessed me. I don’t know how my 51 year old body did it, but it just kept going. I put my iPod buds in my ears and just kept running. I hadn’t run a race in almost 25 years.

I ran alongside those with pink nametags that were breast cancer survivors. I ran alongside families young and old who had pictures on their chest of their mothers, aunts, sisters, grandmothers, nanas, and daughters, who had not survived their battle with breast cancer. It was a bright sunny day and I was glad to be alive…glad that my body was in good enough shape to keep running. Glad that my son and I were running together. Glad that I didn’t fall down or collide with any of the fast moving jogging strollers (at times those kids looked like they were having so much fun that I wished I was in their seat instead of running).

As we neared the end of the race, my favorite Coldplay song Viva la Vida burst in my ears and I picked up the pace. Jumping up and down, my son and I cleared the finishline with our best time ever. We gave each other high-fives and headed for the Wawa tent to eat up all the calories we had burned off during our 41 minute run. We drank full bottles of water, gobbled up full fat blueberry muffins, ate high potassium bananas, and walked back to the car.

I felt like I was flying…flying high. Maybe I will start to run longer races, I thought to myself as I hit the pillow last night.

And then I woke up this morning. Monday morning my alarm went off like clockwork at 6:00 am. Time to get ready for work. OMG, OMG, OMG. I could barely get my body out of bed. My 51 year old knees were wobbly. My 51 year old hips pulsed. My arms and chest felt like I had fought against Million Dollar Baby (remember Hillary Swank? It was a sad movie, but she was a great fighter). Yes, 24 hours later and I no longer felt like like the avid Cross Country Runner I thought I was the day before. Today, yes, today, I felt more like Achy, Breaky Mama with an achy breaky body.

I’m glad I had my moment in the sun (literally) on Mother’s Day. It is likely a day I will remember, or shall I say, my body will remember, for a long, long, long, long time. I did finally get ready for work. I sat at my desk most of the day too, getting up out of my chair only a few times, including to have lunch with a friend. I was sooooooo glad when it was almost 5:30 pm and it was time to go home.

As for this evening. I think I’m going to give my body a nice warm bath. Where is that lavender bath anti-stress oil…I may just have to pour the rest of the bottle in the bath to mend this achy, breaky body. While I dare say that my 51 year old body is still in good shape, it’s definitely not as young as it used to be.

Judi

My Little Birdie Boy Is Back In The Nest

Posted on May 5, 2009 by Judi

It was about nine months ago that I said good-bye to my little birdie boy and shipped him off to Pennsylvania for his first year of college. I did a lot of work to get this little birdie to leave the nest. About 18 years worth of prep and a few days worth of shopping for dorm paraphernalia and then packing it all up in two cars (my Honda Accord and his Honda Civic). Plus, like a good mom, I even walked up a few flights of stairs (several times and then several more times) to bring all his clothes and sneakers and shoes and other dorm stuff into his dorm room.

And then there was silence. My nest was empty. (Okay, he missed me so much that he did come home most weekends to see me and hang out. But, he always went back to school after the weekend was over.)

Now my little birdie boy is back home. He is back home for summer vacation. “Is it really summer vacation already?,” I thought to myself today. “How is it possible that nine months have already passed and my little birdie is back in the nest?” Technically, it is still spring on my calendar. I think if momma birdie has to spend almost $35,000 a year on college, it should last a little longer than 9 months.

Yes, my little birdie boy is back and although I love him dearly, I miss my empty nest. Yes, I do wish I could have my empty nest back.

- When my nest was empty, there was always toilet paper in the bathroom. Now I never know when I sit down on the seat if I will find any paper on the roll. And if there is no toilet paper, I never know if there will be tissues in the tissue box to tide me over. I love my little birdie boy. He is so caring and considerate of his momma bird.

- When my nest was empty, I always had laundry baskets when it was time to do my laundry. (I do own five laundry baskets, even though I usually only do two loads at a time.) Now I can never find any laundry baskets in my closet. Some how, some way, at least four of the baskets always end up in my little birdie boy’s room – overflowing with dirty laundry – since momma bird no longer does little birdie boy’s dirty laundry. (However, I have taught him the difference between white and dark loads, so at least he is able to keep his colors straight and his white tees stay white.)

- When my nest was empty, my refrigerator was empty too. I didn’t have to go shopping for more orange juice or milk or cheese or food to fill the freezer. The half gallon of ice cream lasted about a month, not a week. I never went to the deli counter for turkey or roast beef, I just kept Lean Cuisine entrees and paninis in the freezer and lots of salad in the crisper. Now I have higher food bills again and I must remember to shop each week. This little birdie boy needs to eat and be healthfully nourished.

- When my nest was empty, I was able to lull myself to sleep with my relaxing sleep music. (Okay, my sleep music didn’t always work, I’ll admit it. I still used my Ambien CR most nights or other relaxers, especially during my peri-menopausal periods.) Now, as I lull myself to sleep I also hear the beeps and blips every time my little birdie boy receives a late night text or phone call from his little chicklet. And after the beeping and blipping, I hear the chirping noises through the bedroom wall.

- When my nest was empty, my 13 gallon kitchen garbage can was usually on the empty side too. And I emptied it when it was full – about once a week. Now it is pretty full, pretty frequently, and my little birdie boy usually forgets to empty the garbage can. I think he is just testing the Hefty company to see the true capacity of its 13 gallon trash bags. (I think he just wants to do a math experiment and see if the 13 gallon Hefty trash bag can really hold 20 gallons of trash.)

- When my nest was empty, I could always find my drinking glasses in the kitchen cabinet when I wanted a drink. Now I find them all over the house. Sometimes I find a glass in the den, a few in my little birdie’s room, a few around the kitchen sink. All dirty glasses, of course. (It’s likely my fault, since I don’t know that I taught my little birdie boy how to use the dishwasher. But, I think I did teach my little birdie to use soap and water to wash drinking glasses. If not, I will have to put that lesson on my list for summer 2009.)

- When my nest was empty, the Sony PlayStation remained silent and the big screen television in the den hardly was used. The lights remained off when a room wasn’t in use. It was easy to clean up before the cleaning lady arrived. (Doesn’t everyone clean up for their cleaning lady? Little birdie doesn’t understand this concept…only momma birds clean up before the cleaning lady arrives, says little birdie boy.)

Now that my little birdie boy is back home, there are some benefits. Let’s see:

- He does pick up the mail from the mail box on rainy days. That’s a good thing. However, just because he picks up the mail, doesn’t mean I get the mail on the same day. It may stay in his car for a few days if I don’t remind him to bring the mail – all of the mail – into the house.

- He does offer to return my Blockbuster movies to the Blockbuster store. He doesn’t always return them on time, so sometimes I get phone calls that say I am going to own the movie by the next day if it is not returned. Then I remind him to return the movie and all is fine(that is unless he has lent the movie to one of his friends.)

- He does do nice things for his momma birdie. Like this weekend, when he purchased advance tickets at the movie box office. Okay, so he purchased two student tickets even though my friend and I were going as adults. “You’ll get into the theatre,” said my little birdie boy, “Don’t worry about it, chill out, the ticket taker never looks at the ticket.” My little birdie was right, we did get into the movie. Such a smart little birdie he is.

- And now that my little birdie is working at this great deli, he brings home special treats. Like tonight. He treated me to a big black and white cookie. What a nice little birdie he is.

I guess my empty nest will be a little fuller the next few months. It’s different having my little birdie boy home again. We both have to get re-accustomed to each others customs again. What’s that rhyme about the little piggy? I think it should have been written for little birdies too. Where are those toes, let me see…

This little birdie went to market,
This little birdie stayed at home,
This little birdie had roast beef,
This little birdie had none.
And this little birdie went…
“Wee wee wee” all the way home…

And when he arrived the nest was no longer empty.

Judi