Today I went for my stress test at The Heart House…my cardiologist had wanted me to get another stress test this year since I’ve had so much stress in my life recently. I think the two most stressful things in one’s life are losing a spouse and purchasing a house…and to think that I experienced both within the past six months…not only losing my spouse after almost 25 years…but buying a second property when I have enough stress with my primary residence to fill the circumference of my world 10 times over (especially with my bamboo backyard that is fast becoming like jack and the beanstalk every time I look out the window).

I’ve had a stress test before. I don’t like to have all that colorful dye pumped into my body…and I really don’t like to lie on that machine that takes pictures of my heart…it makes me feel like I’m going into outer space…but I did it and I survived. Yes, I got my heart rate up to 150+ in about eight minutes. The technician said I looked like I was in great shape (“Thank you very much,” I said smiling…glad that she noticed my arm muscles from my days at the gym).

“However, you’re not as fast as you were last year,” the technician said.

“Well, I’m 50 now,” I said, “I guess I’m in a different category.”

But, I was proud of what I had accomplished today…that is until I got the dreaded phone call from my doctor.

“I saw something abnormal on your stress test,” she said, “something that might look like a clogged artery…it might be nothing…but you should have an angiogram…just to make sure.”

OMG…OMG…I thought I was superwoman…I thought everything was okay…a potential clogged artery…I’m 50 and I may have a potential clogged artery…but I eat well…and I exercise…and my weight is down…I know I don’t sleep very well…and I am under a whole lot of stress…but the potential that I could have a clogged artery threw me into a tizzy.

“Calm down,” I tried to say to myself…after I called all my friends. “Calm down Judi…practice your mindful meditation…live in the present…you cannot change your age or your body now…just go have the angiogram…and stop worrying…and..okay.. stop eating those chocolate covered malted milkballs you bought in Atlantic City at that fantastic candy shop this weekend…and the chocolate covered gummie bears…stop eating that artery clogging candy.”

And get some sleep like The Sleep Doctor Michael Breus says to do…yes…I met The Sleep Doctor last week and he had some good tips on his blog…maybe if I get more sleep it will help tone down my stress level and prevent me from having heart disease or clogged arteries. Here’s what Dr. Breus says to do to help avoid a heart attack:

“It’s worth noting that adequate sleep can lower your risk for heart disease and lower some of the risk factors, such as diabetes, obesity, and high blood pressure. In addition, sleep takes the edge out of our stressful lives and helps us restore our bodies for the next busy day.” Dr. Breus’ preventive tips include:

–”Get your cholesterol and blood pressure checked and under control if high watch your girth-women should have a waist no larger than 25 inches around; for men it’s 40 inches.” (I can check this off…although I may have to lose an inch or two off the waist.)

–”Be active most, if not all, days of the week.” (I’m trying to get to the gym more often.)

–”Quit smoking.” (Never have and never will start.)

–”Eat well—a high-fiber, low fat diet.” (Good, I do eat well…most of the time…okay I do cheat with chocolate covered gummie bears…and a few malted milkballs…they are my favorite candies…but, I eat my Kashi Heart to Heart and Good Friends cereal every day…or almost every day and I eat lots of fruits and veggies.)

–”Get plenty of rest, get plenty of rest, get plenty of rest.” (Not too good with this tip…I’m definitely sleep deprived.)

Okay, so I am stressed out from my stress test and my stressful day…think I’ll get some rest like Dr. Brueus recommends…and then I’ll live in the present like mindfulness meditation leader Dr. Michael Baime says to do…yes, I’m going to try to throw the ‘worry’ word out the window for now…at least for another day…and have a good night’s sleep…with sweet dreams (don’t have to worry about any artery clogging in my sweet dreams).

Judi

As I was eating my Reese’s Puffs cereal (my favorite cereal…although first I eat my Kashi Heart to Heart cereal for my health and then I eat a little bit of my favorite peanut butter and chocolate flavored cereal…this cereal makes a really good lowfat snack too) this morning I started to read the back of the cereal box…I was intrigued by the title…especially when I read, “Do you like a challenge?“…of course this 50 year old likes a challenge…that’s what is great about being 50…I’m ready to take on a new challenge…and I don’t care if I can’t do it…if I fail it is okay…and if I succeed at the challenge, all the better.

So what were these challenges…I had to read on…there were 18 Challenges…”18 Things To Do Before You’re 18″…I had to find out what the 18 Challenges were all about…yes, I wanted to see if I had accomplished these challenges now that I was 50…surely, I must have done all 18 I thought…and if not, now that I was 50, it was time to try. Let’s see:

01. Ride the world’s biggest rollercoaster…dare to keep your eyes open and hands in the air for the whole ride (Nope, I never rode the world’s biggest rollercoaster…not at 18 or at 50 or anytime in between…I don’t like rollercoasters…and I definitely cannot dare to keep my eyes open on a rollercoaster…in fact, I remember when I had to ride a rollercoaster when I went to DisneyWorld one year because my son wanted to go on the rollercoaster and he was too young to go by himself…yes, I remember it well, I kept my eyes closed the entire ride.)

02. Bungee jump! (Nope, I never went bungee jumping…not at 18 or at 50 or anytime in between…another challenge has passed me by and I don’t think I will ever accomplish this challenge…no, not before I was 18 and definitely not at 50+.)

03. Score the winning goal/basket (Nope, I never scored the winning goal or basket…or any winning point in sports…I’m just not that good at basketball, tennis, or any other sport…not at 18 or at 50 or anytime in between…I think this Reese’s Challenge is a real challenge for me.)

04. Win an award, trophy or prize (Yeah, I did it…yes, this year I won a really nice award for my leadership skills at work…and I got a really beautiful Tiffany trophy…yep, I did it…finally I did meet one of the Reese’s Challenges, hallelujah!)

05. Learn an instrument (Nope, I tried during my first 18 years…I tried to learn how to play the violin…but I wasn’t too good…and I tried to learn how to play the guitar…but I wasn’t that good at this instrument…wonder if I should try again in my 50+ years…not sure what instrument I’d want to play…maybe the piano.)

06. Go backstage at a gig (Hmm, I never did this one…nope, here goes another challenge down the drain…maybe if I get to see Madonna this year…since she is turning 50 and I’m 50…maybe she will let me backstage — not that I was successful getting the tickets for her concert…speaking of challenges…I went on Ticketmaster right after the tickets went on sale on Monday and they were all sold out.)

07. Meet your idol (Yep, I did meet a celebrity…well I sort of met my idol…I went to see Richard Gere in person this past November at the Marion Anderson Awards at the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia…does that count…he is my idol and I saw him in person.)

08. Play a part in your favorite tv show (I’ve never done this…nope…but my favorite tv show is The Office…and I really don’t think I have to play this part…I work in an office and oftentimes I do feel like I’m a character right out of the show.)

09. Meet someone with your own name (Nope…another challenge I have to try to accomplish in my 50+ years…I have a lot to work on.)

10. Make a discovery (Nope…I haven’t discovered anything…wow, these challenges are really tough for a 50 year old…sure wonder how today’s 18 year olds are coping with these challenges.)

11. Get away with the perfect practical joke (Let me see…did I ever do this by the time I was 18…nope…not this challenge either…I’m not very good at telling jokes.)

12. Own a pointless collection (I’m not really a collector…although I do have a few pitchers in my kitchen…and I have them on display…I guess I can count this challenge as accomplished.)

13. Invent a word that makes it into the dictionary (Ooh…this could be a fun challenge…I haven’t accomplished it yet…more to do for the second half of my life…let’s see, what word do I like…I think Ill try the word “humongous”…I don’t think that is a real word yet.)

14. Conquer your biggest fear (Yeah…I did conquer one of my biggest fears…I went and bought a beach house all by myself…that was scary…but I went and did it…yeah, another challenge for me…I did it…yeah…and I’m blogging tonight from my new beach house…and today I went to the beach…and sat in my new sand chair on the beach…it was great.)

15. Raise money for a charity…get some exercise by signing up for a charity road race (Yeah, I did this too, I walk in the Race for the Cure every Mother’s Day…and I used to run when I was 18…so I really accomplished this challenge…piece of cake.)

16. Pass your driving test the first time (Did it.)

17. Complete a road trip coast to coast (Did half of it…I actually chaperoned a teen tour when I graduated college and I drove around the van with the camping equipment from state to state…so I guess you could say I completed a road trip from the middle of the country to the west coast…maybe in my 50+ years I’ll have to drive the rest of Route 66.)

18. Reach 18 years of age…embrace old age (Are they kidding…”embrace old age” at 18…well, I did reach 18 years of age…and now I’m more than three times that age…but I’m not about to embrace old age…no…that’s for those 18 year olds…they can think they are old…not me…I’m 50 and fabulous…just like Samantha in the new “Sex and the City” movie.)

Wow, that was a real set of challenges…I think tomorrow I’ll just eat the cereal instead of reading the back of the box and trying to be 18 again…sure glad they didn’t list 50 Things To Do Before You’re 50!

Judi

Also, be sure to check out my recent post on the 50 Something Moms – A Flash of Midlife Madness blog: Tuxedo Man

I’ve been taking a Stress Management class run by the University of Pennsylvania for about six weeks now. I’m learning how to do Mindful Meditation…yes, I’m learning how to be mindful…to reduce the stress in my body and my mind and relax in the present moment…not in the past…not in the future…to relax right now.

Today…I spent the entire day…one entire day in silence. It was the culmination of all six classes of mindfulness that I had learned during the past six weeks…I practiced every move…with about 100+ other mindfulness students…in total silence.

From 9:00 am through almost 4:00 pm I didn’t utter a word…not one word…nope…not one word. I ate in silence too…chewed my bagel in silence and ate my yogurt and strawberries in silence…took a walk outside in silence. I thought it was going to be difficult for me…thought my Type A personality just wouldn’t be able to do it…but I did…and at the end of the day I gave myself a pat on the back…along with a long phone call to my friend so I could make up for all the talking I hadn’t done during the day.

It felt good to be silent for an entire day…it was a good cleansing of my mind and body…and likely my soul got cleansed too…and so did my vocal cords…yes…me and my 50 year old body spent the day on a yoga mat…first meditating in mindfulness…sitting in the moment…each moment…then lying down to do a bodyscan meditation…connecting with each part of my body…stretching with yoga movements and then ending with a walking meditation outdoors (I even stayed silent when I walked past a garage sale…even when a young girl tried to trick me and ask me if I was with the ‘silent group’…she didn’t fool me…nope…I just shook my head and kept on walking).

The mindful walking exercise in the gymnasium was the best…first we had to walk in a circle…being mindful of the movement of our feet…heel, sole, toes…heel, sole, toes…then we had to speed up…and then turnaround and speed up the other way…and then turnaround again…and again…until the instructor told us to stop…to stop and see how it felt…how our mind felt and how our body felt after such stress.

Is that what I do every day…I thought to myself…speed around in circles…is that what my life is like…sure feels that way sometimes…no wonder I’m one big stress ball…I do spend half my time re-living the past…or worrying about the future…instead of living in the moment and enjoying each moment.

Yesterday was quite stressful when I received my cellphone bill that was twice the amount it usually is because I used up all my rollover minutes…wish the phone company would tell customers when they do that instead of charging me 35 cents for each extra minute and causing me to have an incredibly stressful moment when I open up my bill. Stop,breathe,and be…I tried to practice what I had learned in my mindfulness class as I stressed out about my bill. (It helped a little…didn’t take away the bill…but I was more relaxed.)

And this morning was quite stressful too…when my sunglasses broke…especially when today was a sunny day and I needed my sunglasses. Stop, breathe, be…I practiced again.

Then I had another stressful moment when the compressor on the air conditioner in my house broke down…that was real stressful…in fact, it was so stressful that I almost missed my day of silence. So glad my son yelled to me to leave and not be a cop out. “You sure need a stress management workshop now, mom please go” he said to me as I woke him up at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning to tell him that I was stressed out about the air-conditioner being broken and to listen for the repairman and to be sure to answer the door when the repairman arrived to fix the air-conditioner. He sure didn’t stress out about it…he just said “okay” and went back to sleep…my good old Beta guy…he’ll never need a day of silence…not like his stressed out mom.

Yes, glad my son was so encouraging or I would have copped out…and then I would have missed a great day…a day to reflect on myself…to not talk to anyone else for several hours…to live fully in the present moment…to not think about the phone bill…or the air conditioner compressor…or anything in the past…to not think about the packing I was going to have to do when I arrived home…since I have to leave for a business trip tomorrow…to not think about the work I had to do…or the laundry that was waiting for me…yes…after today I realize that sometimes ‘silence is golden’…it felt so good that I think I need to cleanse my mind and body again sometime…maybe even once a month…that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up my monthly facials…but silence may do wonders for my 50-something body…and mind…and soul.

What’s that song about silence that Simon and Garfunkel used to sing many years ago…ah yes…The Sound of Silence…how does that tune go?

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisper’d in the sounds of silence.

Try a day of silence and let me know how it works for you…I think you’ll like it.

Judi