I was reading my February issue of Vogue the other day…yes…I was reading the letter from the editor…as I do on occasion…most occasions since as a communicator I know first hand how long it takes for the editor…or editor’s assistant…to write that letter…to agonize over each word…so…I usually do read the letters…but this one…this letter from Anna Wintour struck a cord with me…yes…Anna was writing about the Pretty Powerful…the powerful woman named Hillary Clinton…the Hillary Clinton who is running for president…the powerful woman who Anna Wintour wants to dress.

And as I read this letter and looked at each outfit that Anna picked out for Hillary…for the more mature woman who was running for president…I wanted to tell Anna to dress me…yes…Anna…”if Hillary doesn’t want those clothes then give them to me…I may not be running for president of the United States…but I am a mature woman…I am now 50…plus a few weeks…and I would look great in those clothes”

I love Spring’s Polished Day Look from Calvin Klein…beige is one of my colors and the button down form-fitting top and skirt would look fabulous on me…I’ll take it…but I likely won’t be able to show the cleavage that the model Natalia Vodianova shows off…not at my office.

I love the rich red Carolina Herrera’s Crimson Skirt Suit …the skirt suit that you think would make Hillary look more feminine…dress me with Herrera’s Crimson suit and I will be your feminine lady for sure.

I love Carolina Herrera’s demure coat in delicious plum too…it is a little boxy…but it will do just fine…yes…dress me and I will wear that plum coat proudly.

No, don’t waste time trying to change dear Hillary’s mature attire…dress me in the Election Day garb…I’ll vote for whoever you want…and as I enter the polls I’ll look fabulous in the niftily tailored white silk pantsuit by Francisco Costa for Calvin Klein or the chocolate brown ensemble with the fuller legs and pretty sleeves by Oscar de la Renta (chocolate is one of my most flattering colors…and I do like the belt cinched at the waist)…dress me and I promise to take good…good care of my new mature woman’s wardrobe.

And for evening wear…don’t worry about Hillary…I’ll go to all the black-tie fundraisers…invite me…dress me…I would love…love…love to wear all the evening dresses you picked out for Hillary…my body is like hers…my height is similar to hers…and I will dye my hair blonde (it is heavily highlighted now…a little too much I might say…my colorist did go a little overboard this time…so I won’t have to even add that much more blonde to the mix)…I will be Hillary’s stand-in for those black-tie affairs…if you will only dress me in Donna Karan’s hot red gown…and Caroina Herrera’s black long dress…and Oscar de la Renta’s gorgeous satin green beauty…dress me and I will wear them all.

Oh…Anna…your letter from the editor was marvelous this month…I drooled over the clothes you selected for the mature women…you have my vote…and if there was any hesitation about cancelling my subscription to Vogue next year…no need to worry now…I’ll have to see how you dress Hillary when she becomes president…or if not…maybe she will be giving away those clothes at some consignment shop…can’t wait to see…if not…you can always…always…always Anna…dress me.

Judi

I visited my husband’s grave site today to wish him a “happy anniversary”…I bought a dozen roses…and I picked out one of the loveliest orange roses to lay on his grave…the rest of the bouquet belonged to me.

I said “happy anniversary” to him…and I told him that his Giants were going to the Superbowl this year not only in honor of our 24th anniversary year…but also in honor of him.

I knew today would be a difficult day without my husband around to celebrate with me…no fabulous Italian dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant…no anniversary cards to exchange (he always got me the sappy anniversary cards…the ones that said how much he loved me)…no anniversary trip to plan (we were always planning to go to the Ritz Carlton in California for our big 25th anniversary next year…the hotel on the cliff outside San Francisco…and we were going to rent a Mercedes Benz Convertible for our 25th year…so we could ride around California in style).

I received a sympathy card from an old friend today…she asked “where the time had gone”…and “she remembered when I lived in New York…and when I was 25 years young and first met my husband…and how we fell in love…and got married”…”where has the time gone,” she said in her note…”where has the time gone?”

I tried to answer that question…how could it be that 24 years had passed by so quickly…that I was preparing for my empty nest…that I was now a widow…that my husband was not here beside me to celebrate our 24 years together?

I read the note again…and I closed my eyes…I remembered our wedding day…I remembered my wedding dress…I remembered the smiles on our faces… I remembered the happiness that was in the room…I remembered our family and friends who gathered to celebrate with us (many of whom left before the wedding cake arrived since we did get married on Superbowl Sunday!)…and to help us start our life together.

Where has the time gone…the time has passed…and now it is the memories I will savor…I think I need a sad song today…ah yes…time for a little Joan Baez music…what is that song…ah yes…”Where Have All The Flowers Gone?…long time passing”…sing it Joan…sing me a sad song today.

“Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young Girls picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?”

“Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone with flowers every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?”

Judi

Today was a super day…that’s because the Giants football team won against the Green Bay Packers…they did it…they won…my late husband’s favorite football team won their NFC championship game and they are going to the Superbowl…and I know my husband was watching down over them…yes…he was watching down over them and guiding their throws…guiding their catches…guiding their kicks.

Only…only…I wish he were here with me…helping me cope with the fact that he was not here beside me to cheer them on…helping me cope with the fact that I miss him…that I missed having him here to share those catches tonight…and those throws… and those kicks too.

My husband was a big…big…big Giants fan…a 6’4″ Giants fan…and I’m only a 5’3″ Giants fan…I need another foot to equal his passion for the game…plus another inch on top of that foot…but, I hope he knows that I was rooting for them…and so was our son and our daughter…we were all in different places watching the game…but we were big fans tonight…big fans in honor of my husband’s legacy.

The Giants’ wins are pretty symbolic to my family…they won the Superbowl the year my daughter was born…yes…1986 was a good year for the Giants…and they won the Superbowl the year my son was born…yes…1990 was a good year for the Giants too…and now…and now…and now, they are entering the Superbowl once again in honor of their 2007 year…yes…it is fitting that they should be the NFC Champs the year of my husband’s passing…what a tribute they are giving to one of their greatest fans…and to our family…they have put smiles and laughter back on our faces…and for that I am grateful.

And now…and now…we will get to cheer them on once more…once more for 2007…once more to honor my husband’s love of football…yes…the sport that he loved so much…and the team that he worshiped is now going to the Superbowl…they may not win against the undefeated Patriots…but with someone like my husband to watch over them…who cares if they win…the smiles we will all have on our faces when we see the Giants walk out on that Superbowl field will be worth it…win or lose..I’ll be there watching…and I might even put on my husband’s old Giants sweatshirt…it will feel so good.

Judi

I’ve been 50 for 10 days…10 whole days…and do you know that according to AARP, every day 12,000 baby boomers are turning 50…that means that within the past 10 days 120,000 baby boomers have joined my rank as a 50 year old…imagine that…there are a lot of us fifty-somethings out there…we’re a big…big number.

So, how do I feel since I turned 50…do I feel different…maybe a little different…I feel a year older…and now I have to check that more mature box on the survey…yes…I can no longer check 45 – 49…now it is 50 – 55…or sometimes 50 – 59…and I can no longer countdown to 50 (for those of you who haven’t read my countdown you can find my original blog at a yearto50.blogspot.com)…now I’m counting down and getting ready for my exciting life after 50.

Haven’t heard from AARP yet…guess they still have me down as a 49er…or they have me down as registered since my husband was a member…I’m sure they will find me soon…along with the other 120,000 baby boomers who have turned 50 along with me.

Ellen DeGeneres didn’t invite me to her 50th birthday party this month…I was disappointed…but maybe Madonna will invite me to her birthday party later in the year…she turns 50 in August…hope I can go…or maybe the producers of the Grammy’s will invite me to their awards show…after all…the Grammys are celebrating their 50th anniversary this year too…and unlike the Golden Globes (one of my favorite awards shows that did not happen during my 50th year…nope…no dresses to admire…no red carpet to watch…no jewelry to drool over…how awful to start my 50th year without one of my favorite awards shows…the writers’ strike better settle…don’t they know that I am celebrating my 50th birthday all year long)…the Grammys are scheduled to go on television regardless of the writers’ strike…so at least I’ll have some entertainment during my 50th year.

It’s been a month since my husband passed away…30 days since he left me…why did this happen…how did this happen…did it really happen…to me…to me…to me who just turned 50…it wasn’t supposed to happen…my husband wasn’t supposed to leave me during my 50th year…I miss him…yep…I miss him…and I still have those 50 tears that are falling down my face…some days….some nights…and some mornings too.

My 50th year is definitely starting out different than I had planned…I don’t know that I am going to be as much of a planner as I was before…maybe I’ll just wait and let each day surprise me…life is full of surprises…maybe they’ll be happy surprises during 2008…I’m ready for some happiness.

Judi